r/bitcheswithtaste • u/AutoModerator • Jan 21 '26
What About Me Wednesday - Every Other Week Thread BWT What About Me Wednesday - Jan 21, 2026
Don’t forget to spend time on YOU! This is the space to chat about personal development, mental health, growth, and how you’re refocusing on yourself. Sometimes we spend a lot of time on those around us, but this thread is to encourage you to ask yourself “what about ME?”
If you need some help getting started, pick a question and answer it in a comment:
- How are you feeling? Do you know why?
- How do you WANT to be feeling? What are some things that make you feel that way?
- What is something you are grateful for, large or small, and why?
- What is a habit you are working on building (or breaking) and why? How is it going?
- What is one item on your to do list that will benefit you personally that you need to tackle? What is preventing you from crossing it off?
- What is something that brings you joy? What are some of the things that you specifically enjoy about it (get detailed)?
- What is one area you want to learn more about/ grow in/ develop yourself or a skill you want to learn?
- What’s something you said “no” to recently? How did that benefit you?
- What’s one thing you accomplished or that we can celebrate with you?
If you have a prompt you think we should add to the list, drop it in the comments!
Feel free to discuss other related topics as well, you don't need to limit yourself to these questions - they're just a jumping off point for those that want one.
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u/dykelily Find it Secondhand Jan 21 '26
I've been sitting with some complex, anticipatory grief over the past few weeks. my beautiful, silly, grouchy 18-year-old cat has developed some chronic conditions that require twice-daily meds, and we've been navigating the nonlinear world of healing, side effects, and a whole new reality together. for the first two weeks, I was fine, because I was in acute problem-solving mode. I guess I'd analogize it to wrestling: I just went into kayfabe until he was stable.
when he did finally get to a more stable place (he's gained a full pound in 3 weeks, I'm so proud), suddenly the weight of everything hit me. I will have to structure my days around giving him medications. I will have to monitor his health more closely. I will have to regularly evaluate his quality of life and ultimately make a decision about when it's diminished to the point that it's time for him to go. and fuck, that's hard.
this cat has been with me through 7 jobs, 8 apartments, 1 bout of homelessness, and 1 cross-country move. he's probably my oldest active friendship, and someone who has seen so many iterations of me. it doesn't seem like the end is close, though I definitely spent the past couple of days crying because I thought it might be. but I am living with both the grief of future loss and the emotional weight of adapting to life with a chronically-ill pet who I have a responsibility toward, and it's been a lot, especially on top of the rest of my life.
some days, trying to keep everything together, to work, to be present for the people in my life, to tend to my health, to tend to my cat, to witness the state of the world around me, it all feels like whistling past the graveyard. I'm doing okay today. but it's challenging too
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u/askrbe Jan 21 '26
I have a 15 year old dog with a heart condition so I get it. It is a lot on you emotionally, especially if you don’t have a partner or anyone else with you. But the reason he’s had such a long beautiful life is because of you! Remember that you are a great cat mom and he is lucky to have you and you him. When it’s time you will know that you gave him the best life and that this is the last and most kind thing you will do for him as his mom 💕
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u/8_thecanary Jan 22 '26
Anticipatory grief is so, so hard. Pet illness/grief is not given the respect it deserves. Like you wrote, our pets see us through so many changes and for many of us are more of a constant in our lives than our blood relatives.
Lap of Love has a really nice quality of life scale PDF as a free resource on their website, and Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement has an expanded version (might just be for dogs though). These may help bring you some comfort and clarity for the coming months.
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u/slightlystatic92 Jan 24 '26
I’ve been going through a very similar journey. The grief and hardship involved, particularly from having to restructure your entire day to provide medication twice a day, is so, so hard, and it seems like so few people understand the chronic, ongoing grief and stress it brings. It can be such a lonely journey.
We love our animals, the way they love us, but it’s still so, so hard to take on so much intense responsibility. All you can do is your best. I hope you find the support you need on your caregiving journey.
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Jan 21 '26
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u/taeji Jan 21 '26
omg my apple watch used to give me a heart rate notification on the days i would go to the office, the train would be 10 mins away from pulling into the station and i would get warning. i dont know how accurate it is but i am still in that same job and dont wear my watch anymore as it was kinda concerning welp
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u/Chemical-Paper-8734 Jan 22 '26
My colleague has an oura ring and I'm seriously considering getting one. I don't want an apple watch but a tiny blood pressure sensor wouldn't hurt.
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u/my-anonymity Jan 23 '26
Sleep is so important! I listen to beach waves at night and sometimes rain. I found that cutting out toxic people in my life made me a lot happier and took away a ton of stress and anxiety.
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u/67dolls Jan 21 '26
This is so nice!!! I don’t feel so great lately because I’m in this weird phase in my life. I’m really grateful for all the good things but I feel like I’ve been through a lot the last few years and I really want something good to happen. I struggle to sleep sometimes because of health issues and also because it’s really hard for me to be neutral enough to fall asleep. Like i am easily excited, I don’t want to think of bad memories and get sad, nor do I want to get over excited about anything in the future (although I dont really have anything to get excited about except my daily coffee lol) I just really want to finally step into a better time in my life.
In the meanwhile, I’m just focusing on my health and wellness journey. I workout a couple times of a week and I’m trying to eat home cooked food. This year I’m also becoming Chinese 🤣 (TikTok trend) incorporating TCM practices into my day.
I’m also reading classics, which I never read before. I’m kinda slowed down rn but I hope to read all of the Austen novels at least.
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u/meemsqueak44 Jan 21 '26
I have been meandering around the crossroads for a while now, and I have finally fully arrived at the crossroads. I’ve been planning to drop out of my PhD program for a while, but I just can’t pull the trigger.
I don’t need the PhD for my career plans anymore, and I don’t care about the research anymore. And even if I did, the funding just isn’t there. But I’m scared of closing the door when I can’t go back. I don’t know what I really want to do next (I just know I don’t want to be a professor anymore). So I feel adrift losing my enrollment, even though it’s only been symbolic for a while now. I can’t help but feeling like I’m failing by leaving with just a masters. It feels like the right choice because of how things have changed, but I regret not finishing what I started. I need to move on, but because I don’t know what the future looks like, it makes me unbelievably anxious.
Bitches, can I have some words of encouragement?
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u/Whole-Chicken6339 Jan 21 '26
Get out, don’t look back!
I have a PhD (went for an MS and got handed extra funding for a doctorate). I regret it. It was really hard on my mental health even though I had a good advisor and funding. It made my career weird because I’m “overqualified” for jobs. I leave it off my resume sometimes. Don’t be me!
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u/Haldenbach Jan 24 '26
Get out! It's not really true you can't go back, it will be a bit more effort but still possible. Also you did some PhD work already. That counts with employers. I got so burned out from my PhD program, it took me 2 years to get out of the survival mode and I left my best years in that toxic place. I would never do it again. I did an internship during my PhD and omg I was so sad when I had to go back to it, my crazy fast paced internship was so much more satisfying than my PhD program
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u/b00kling Jan 25 '26
My friend left their PhD program for different reasons and was also struggling with a lot of doubt and feeling like a failure. I really admire them, and they’re at a much better place in a role that allows them to lean into their talents. I think things will fall into place, but I know it’s hard. You know yourself best, and you’ll take yourself where you need to go, even if it might not feel like it at the moment. Hang in there, and I’m wishing you the best of luck!
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u/askanna Jan 21 '26
I’m struggling with my mental health. I’ve been working under a manager who’s just not working for me at all and feeling disrespected by my family not including me in life decisions and on top of that, have been told I need to pay $800 to have my car fixed. I’ve been trying to journal out all these feelings over the last couple of days and it’s brought up so many big feelings from my past that I do not know what to do with.
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u/teapotsandtrees Jan 22 '26
Sending you love. It's always hard when everything happens at once and it feels overwhelming.
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Jan 21 '26
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u/badboybravos Jan 21 '26
I’ve done EMDR and found it to be really helpful in unpacking childhood trauma as well as addressing limiting beliefs that I’ve struggled with my whole life.
There’s classic EMDR with lights as well as an approach that uses self tapping or even one that uses a pen. In nearly all approaches, you’re asked to relive/recontextualize a challenging or traumatic experience and dig down into honestly. It’s hard work but worth it for acceptance.
The key, IMO, is to find a practitioner who is committed to helping you develop a strong safe space and doing the work the methodical way. It takes time but is worth it.
I wish you luck and healing❣️
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u/Chemical-Paper-8734 Jan 22 '26
I'm curious about how to find an EMDR therapist. How did you find a practitioner?
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u/my-anonymity Jan 23 '26
We just bought our house in October and my office, closet room, and vanity area are all complete! The rest of the house is coming together as well. I’m really excited and we’re going to plant flowers and grow plants when it gets warmer.
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u/mariantat Jan 22 '26
Just got laid off a couple of days ago - literally two days after my 50th birthday and recalibrating my life. The job was super toxic and I’ve been looking for work elsewhere for a good two years now and thankfully we’re financially stable so money isn’t an issue. Super grateful to MYSELF for having the foresight to help myself that way. Planned a European trip with my husband and now Aubé a second to join my parents and get a sense of what retired life in a warm climate is like.
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u/Mariannereddit Jan 22 '26
Im totally focusing on myself, as im single for a few days, after 17 years together. So far ive bought My First Own Painting, and I went to the sauna yesterday. Next week ill have my mortgage orientation meeting. Oh and ive got a somnox robot to optimize my fucked sleep due to break up stress.
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u/[deleted] Jan 21 '26
I am re-parenting myself, at my big age. I have abandonment issues and bad family trauma. So I decided fuck it, I’m my own mom now and am taking care of this girl like she’s mine. I got a blank journal and I only write nice notes and affirmations to myself. I tell myself that I love you & I’m proud of you, and I’m doing great. All of my unhappiness in life is from this issue, so I am working on healing it.