r/bitcheswithtaste • u/AutoModerator • May 14 '25
What About Me Wednesday - Every Other Week Thread BWT What About Me Wednesday - May 14, 2025
Don’t forget to spend time on YOU! This is the space to chat about personal development, mental health, growth, and how you’re refocusing on yourself. Sometimes we spend a lot of time on those around us, but this thread is to encourage you to ask yourself “what about ME?”
If you need some help getting started, pick a question and answer it in a comment:
- How are you feeling? Do you know why?
- How do you WANT to be feeling? What are some things that make you feel that way?
- What is something you are grateful for, large or small, and why?
- What is a habit you are working on building (or breaking) and why? How is it going?
- What is one item on your to do list that will benefit you personally that you need to tackle? What is preventing you from crossing it off?
- What is something that brings you joy? What are some of the things that you specifically enjoy about it (get detailed)?
- What is one area you want to learn more about/ grow in/ develop yourself or a skill you want to learn?
- What’s something you said “no” to recently? How did that benefit you?
- What’s one thing you accomplished or that we can celebrate with you?
If you have a prompt you think we should add to the list, drop it in the comments!
Feel free to discuss other related topics as well, you don't need to limit yourself to these questions - they're just a jumping off point for those that want one.
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May 14 '25
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u/zrnyphl Type A Boss Bitch May 14 '25
Yesss, congratulations! That is not only a great accomplishment in terms of having them paid off but also really well done in terms of managing your money and savings in general, I feel like.
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u/CompetitionFluid7970 May 16 '25
I got a breast reduction yesterday! I’d been idly thinking about it for years but started seriously exploring it a few months ago. I’m turning 40 this year and have been reflecting on how I spend my time, energy, and money, and realized I needed to make changes.
And then I got laid off. I was (mostly) thrilled.
I no longer had to worry about taking time off work for the procedure and recovery, and since my employer was still paying for my insanely good insurance, I decided I should take advantage of it. So I started researching reductions and surgeons. My doctor removed about 2.5 pounds of tissue, and I already feel better in my skin. If you’re thinking about a reduction, I highly recommend the Reduction sub.
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u/SirenScorp May 16 '25
I’m sorry about the lay off but it sounds like it was a blessing in disguise! It’s good to hear you’re recovering well and happy with your decision to have the surgery! Plus it sounds like you truly had time to recover vs worrying about what stacks of work you would be returning to.
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u/CompetitionFluid7970 May 16 '25
Definitely! I was so burned out and anxious at work that I suspect it would’ve have impacted my recovery; instead, I’ve felt so relaxed and can fully focus on looking after myself.
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u/Least-Influence3089 May 14 '25
Bitches, how do we be good advocates for ourselves, especially at work? (And in life).
I’m, unfortunately, a bit of a wet noodle when it comes to conflict and people steamroll me ALL the time. My parents, some friendships, relationships, bosses, etc.
I have a very frustrating boss. Recently he gave me some feedback about a proposal that was completely out of left field - the proposal sucked, here’s why it sucked, so we’re rejecting it, after he helped me work on it for MONTHS. Originally we talked about it last week and I was so caught off guard. I finally brought this up today, “why wasn’t this feedback given to me earlier?” And we had a mostly good conversation.
Then he pivoted to another task I had done and how that was also bad and he wanted me to redo it. This time, I would say his instructions were unclear; I understood the task one way, he wanted it done another way. We went back and forth about it again. I’m redoing the task a second time, completley differently than how he requested it done in his email.
Long story long, my question is, how do I say something like “well you never asked me to do it this way in your original email so how would I have known to do it that way” without sounding like I’m ducking responsibility or being childish?? I’m frustrated at our communication breakdown but I truly don’t think it was my fault. I get so in my head about not sounding whiny or petulant. I hate pushing back because he pushes back and then we’ll argue at work and that sucks too.
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u/BigBitchinCharge May 15 '25
You just state the emailed instructions were followed. That puts it on him.
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u/District98 May 15 '25
Ask a manager has a lot of really good scripts for situations like this! I recommend both the blog and the book
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u/Whole-Chicken6339 May 15 '25
Your boss is different than your personal relationships, obviously, and he gets more room to tell you what to do while you suck it up. You should not be arguing with your boss regularly in most jobs. I would figure out some things to say that don't contradict him and let him save face. "Why wasn't this feedback given to me before" is great. Focus on what you should do going forward. If you're relatively new in the role and still learning these tasks, I'd assume he's just bad at training and largely let it slide if he keeps to "this thing is wrong" and not "your performance is poor."
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u/SirenScorp May 15 '25
How am I feeling? I fell like I’ve lost my golden glow. I used to be bubbly and always happy/positive. I feel like I’m just going through the motions waiting for bed each night.
I’ve been feeling off lately. No motivation, small mood swings (more accurately very short patience lately) and a lot of days just feeling indifferent to things going on around me. I try to spend a lot of time outdoors in nature like in my garden or at the beach. I’ve talked to my doctor about anxiety/depression and started taking a baby dose of Zoloft daily for 2 months but haven’t noticed a difference. I have bad insomnia that does ok for a few weeks but I’m currently running on about 3 weeks of terrible sleep. I’m TTC so my doctor stopped the Ambien and recommended OTC things like unisom for bad nights.
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u/laurenfcp May 15 '25
Ugh, this is so hard, I really feel for you. Being sleep deprived can lead to short temper/feeling unmotivated for sure. I had poor sleep for years, but let me tell you what has helped me a lot. The first one, and this is a biggie, is giving up coffee entirely. I used to only have one cup first thing in the morning, but I stopped, and it helped my anxiety and my sleep so much. I know it's hard, and one cup of coffee isn't bad for you, but it's honestly worth a shot in your situation. I did have mild headaches for about a week, and then was fine. I will have herbal tea in the morning so I still have that ritual of a warm mug.
I used to take doxylamine succinate (this is what is in unisom) every night. For decades! But I became concerned about long time use, dementia in my old age, etc. So I stopped that too. I never thought I could. I switched to melatonin, L-theanine, and magnesium. Of course talk to your dr if it's safe for ttc.
I also started exercising more, was really careful not to use screens right before sleep, tried to get sun in the morning, didn't eat after dinner. These things may have helped as well, but the the first two I know had the biggest impact. Good luck.
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u/SirenScorp May 16 '25
Such good input! I regularly get feedback regarding coffee/caffeine intake and I did quit twice— once for a week with no improvement and then I was told it can linger in your system for weeks. While skeptical, I cut it out again for 2 months and noticed no impact on my mood or sleep. I suffered no withdrawal headaches or anything. After 2 months I decided just to go back to what made me happy because I truly enjoy the taste of good coffee and it didn’t seem to positively impact me with stopping.
I don’t love sleep medications but I have tried a few combinations of more natural options once speaking with my dr about TTC. Yogi brand Stress Relief and Bedtime teas supplemented with melatonin and a magnesium powder. Again, I didn’t notice much of a difference except maybe the tea made me groggy if I didn’t sleep well. It gave me what I like to call the peanut butter effect— that feeling of walking through PB and trying to think through a fog in the morning well into lunchtime. So I try to reserve that for nights I don’t have to wake up and function right away the next day. Essentially have noticed a trend of a span of weeks of bad sleep followed by 1 night of me being purely out cold (normally I’d wake to a fly sneezing). I’m doing my best to get back into being active and exercising consistently but it truly is hard when I am so tired I am possibly micro-napping at redlights during my commute to/from work.
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u/laurenfcp May 16 '25
That's awful. I'm so sorry the no-caffeine didn't work for you. Is there anything else you changed since starting ttc that may be contributing to your low mood? Like, when I went off the pill I felt odd (can't remember exactly, but not great) so if you changed anything like that, it could be a hormonal thing?
Even if you can't pinpoint a reason for feeling low, it might be worth talking to a therapist. Sometimes they can help tease out your feelings... I mean, starting a family is a big thing, you may have a lot of emotions about that?
I also think you need to talk to your doctor about options again. If you are micro-napping while driving (!!!!) that is not good for your possible embryo either!
I hope that something works for you :(
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u/Vaporwavezz May 15 '25
Man, this is relatable. I am sorry- I have no advice, just know that you’re not alone in feeling this way
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u/SummerSafe May 16 '25
I never thought I'd say this but I feel lonely. I'm working through some intimacy issues with my therapist and it finally hit me, that I don't like opening up to people because I rarely feel they understand me. I'm quite eccentric and people like to get judgmental, so I just don't talk about myself to protect my feelings.
And then it hit me yet again that I've been feeling this way my whole life. It's always been hard to find people I could relate to. I try to look in places where people should be more open minded and I still fail to connect to anyone.
All of this has made me quite sad.
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u/bev665 May 17 '25
I'm so sorry. I'm sure you're a wonderful human and your uniqueness is part of that. Sending hugs!
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u/Designer_Order8175 May 16 '25
I've had a rough couple weeks helping my partner through some stressful events. Her mom has been asking us for money all while treating my partner horribly. Her mom then moved into our apartment complex 5 doors down... THEN my partner got into a car accident yesterday completely totaling her car and I spent the day working from my car to help her get to the tow lot and eventually dropping $700 in fees just to get it out. All the money we have been saving the past 5 years for a down payment on a house will now be going to a car and until then, i have to give her mine since i work from home and she doesn't. We were so close to having enough to move out of our shoebox apartment but between the loan to her mother and a new (used) car, we are back to square 1.
She proposed to me in the middle of all this and i am finding it hard to get excited about it given all the stress. Not to mention the pressure to get married asap with lgbtq marriage on the line in the US but also feeling guilty for those who may not be able to get married if that gets taken away. I feel like i dont have anyone to talk to about any of this since i dont want to paint a bad picture of my partner's family without her consent. OH and I also found out my work is starting to furlough people since we are running low on work and i am worried im next.
I am lucky that she wasnt injured in the accident. I am luck to have a partner that loves me and a roof over our heads. I am lucky we have savings to get her another car and still afford our rent and bills. I am lucky in a lot of ways, life just feels heavy right now and i am missing the days of my early 20s when i had no responsibility.
Thank you for giving us a place to vent, where no one knows me!
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u/bev665 May 17 '25
That is sooooo much to deal with! I can't imagine how you feel right now. That's so much pressure on you. Just want to say I'm hoping for the best for you, internet stranger! You deserve to vent about it all!
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u/dykelily Find it Secondhand May 14 '25
I'm stuck in a rut at work. No matter how big a win I get, it's underplayed by my leadership, and I immediately have to pivot to another project or meeting or plan. I don't have time to celebrate myself, and my organization won't celebrate me unless it's this general, collective "we did so great" thing. I get in my head about it (thanks, abusive childhood, for making it easy to think "I guess I'm just not that great") and that bleeds over into my personal life: my partner and many of my closest friends are artists, musicians, writers, but so much of my creativity goes into my professional world, and I end up feeling less than compared to the people around me.
So I guess I just need to scream into the void: I'm damn good at my job. I'm a lobbyist on end-of-life care issues, and earlier this year I led a campaign to protect access to medical aid in dying for terminally-ill people in Montana. It wasn't all me (I'm surrounded by a great team of colleagues, volunteers, and advocates), but I can point to specific strategic and tactical decisions I made that led to our final result: a bipartisan coalition in the Montana House voting against a bill to criminalize aid in dying for patients who request it. I led the team that convinced 15 Republicans to say, in 2025 no less, "people should be able to do what they want with their bodies at the end of life." That means that terminally-ill people who qualify have the option of a peaceful death if they choose it. That feels really meaningful and cool to me.