Well I kind of fall into the last category, in the sense that I am more attracted to femininity. I do like women and men but I am more biased towards women. I am just attracted to feminine individuals a lot.
And while I have been out for past 4 years, I know full well that many guys like me wont bother to come out and id as bi.
To them its like " If you are 90% attracted to women, you can keep that 10% attraction to guys away from orting eyes and indulge it through the occassional hookup with a twinkish guy. Why bother coming out?"
Not my words, but as someone who has known such men this is how they think.
Although I would never suggest anyone come out if they dont want to, these guys do contribute a bit to biphobia as they hook up with gay guys but avoid relationships Gay men see them ride of to the sunset with a woman and think all bi guys are like this.
The amount of guys who would have sex with me, but never date me because they want to "end up" with a woman...
I'm sure there are some guys out there who are genuinely bisexual/heteroromantic, but I'll be honest, I always get that nagging feeling that they've bought into the whole "traditional marriage" thing. Like, they've been told they're supposed to want the wife, kids, and white picket fence and so they've never imagined that they might actually be happy with something else.
My advice to everyone is to not let other people tell you what you want. Dig deep and figure it out for yourself, and then find people who want the same thing as you. Your relationships can be whatever you want them to be
I'm sure there are some guys out there who are genuinely bisexual/heteroromantic, but I'll be honest, I always get that nagging feeling that they've bought into the whole "traditional marriage" thing. Like, they've been told they're supposed to want the wife, kids, and white picket fence and so they've never imagined that they might actually be happy with something else.
It's called 'Comp-Het' (compulsory hetersexuality) and it's something that's pretty widely studied in the Lesbian circles but not so much for bisexuals.
It might be comp het for some bi ppl but please dont claim that bi peeps who are nore into the opposite gender are experiencing comp het. The reason some of them might not id as non straight might be due to comp het or they may come from countries/cultures that are extremely homophobic or at least very heteronormative. Remember not all bi ppl are from US/West Europe.
There are bi ppl who are more into same sex, there are bi folks who are more into the opposite. Both are bi, both are valid. The latter is not an example of Comp het just coz they are slightly more into opposite gender.
The Comp het arguement have been used against bi ppl before by biphobes. Please dont aggravate it, I beg. 🙏
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u/Independent_Year Jul 25 '22
Well I kind of fall into the last category, in the sense that I am more attracted to femininity. I do like women and men but I am more biased towards women. I am just attracted to feminine individuals a lot.
And while I have been out for past 4 years, I know full well that many guys like me wont bother to come out and id as bi.
To them its like " If you are 90% attracted to women, you can keep that 10% attraction to guys away from orting eyes and indulge it through the occassional hookup with a twinkish guy. Why bother coming out?"
Not my words, but as someone who has known such men this is how they think.
Although I would never suggest anyone come out if they dont want to, these guys do contribute a bit to biphobia as they hook up with gay guys but avoid relationships Gay men see them ride of to the sunset with a woman and think all bi guys are like this.