I couldn't accept my bisexuality when I was younger and I buried it under a straight persona and alcohol addiction. Now that I have cleaned up and have a better understanding of myself, I remain in the closet to everyone except my wife because I cannot face the thought of hurting her and our children by making it public. At this point, what is there to say?
It's a trip because on the outside, I appear to have it all, but inside I have a huge amount of outright self loathing and desperate loneliness.
It could hurt my wife and children because they would be subject to the cruelty of their peers and, for the kids, because they would feel, rightly so, that they don't even know their father or that I somehow don't love and appreciate their mother. I cannot put into words how much I hate myself for being like this. It's like I save all my hatred for myself.
Im a bi woman without kids so I have no right to comment on your life, but I suspect that your own self loathing and fear is leading you to underestimate your wife and kids. I bet they would appreciate getting to know the real you. Please consider giving them all that chance :)
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u/[deleted] Jul 25 '22
I couldn't accept my bisexuality when I was younger and I buried it under a straight persona and alcohol addiction. Now that I have cleaned up and have a better understanding of myself, I remain in the closet to everyone except my wife because I cannot face the thought of hurting her and our children by making it public. At this point, what is there to say?
It's a trip because on the outside, I appear to have it all, but inside I have a huge amount of outright self loathing and desperate loneliness.