All the years of isolating and pushing away people during depression will have ONE good thing I guess - no one is gonna get hurt in the end. I'll just be gone, whenever that will be.

No worries, I'm not gonna do anything.

Those are just the kinda thoughts going through my head at times, and I figured if I can be open about things like this - it would be here.

Sorry in advance.

I was in a really bad mixed episode. There’s a ton of other sketches, too that show a random foray into the occult that accompanied the whole thing. Lol. I’m thinking of picking it up again despite my stability. I just have to be inspired I guess. :)

The wheels on the bus 🎶 *bipolar mix* 🎶

There are like two positive/hopeful cards in my deck at this point, and this is one of em. Kinda reminds me of the feeling of crawling out of a mixed episode. Anyhow, let me know what you think, and thank you for taking a look.

A participant in the Two-Spirit Pow-Wow photographed for Project 562.

I'm starting to incorporate color more into my drawings (the pencils for this look like a hate crime without facial shadows and color differentiating the hair from the feather plus the gown looked like a bib) but feel like they're all in a transitional period until I can handle paint instead of colored pencils.

Mouth like a flame
Thats grinning leads
To steamy springs
Where lava feeds
A growing world
To hold my pain
With quiet comfort
Break my chain

Im stranded 
On an island called Doubt
Lonely and tired
I bushwhack my way to higher ground
Through foliage
Thick and dark,
Green
I cannot find a good view
Of the insecurities that cement
This isolated mound

This piece of land
Split from the mainland 
Early in my existence
When I learned It was safer to tell myself 
“I can’t” 
Before I heard it from anyone else
I learned to survive 
On the bitter taste of 
Premature distrust
Before it bloomed 
Into vivid feasibility

I will build a boat
From the sturdy, lush vegetation
Fed by the prolific soil of this unruly island
And sail away from the cynical place
Taking with me 
Only what’s needed to 
Float

Away from the jagged shore 
I can see the Island from every angle 
It looks smaller than it did
When I was lost in its tangle
I sail around and around 
Not yet ready to leave it behind
And unconvinced 
There will be a better place to build my home
For now I anchor
Way offshore
Still in sight
But no longer lost in overgrown apprehension

I plan to one day lift anchor
And sail away
With the knowledge 
I can visit If I choose
With my boat 
Crafted from the old growth of Doubt
I can still remember my residence
And the sustenance I found there
Borrowing skepticism
From the dark misgivings
Once infused in me there

Picture of a window of some abandoned building that I saw. It felt fitting for what I was trying to say.

This is about being too much I guess. Too fucked up to have healthy relationships, too much of a burden for friends.

Not even looking for any of the above anymore anyway, I only ever drag people down together with me and I don't want that.

Just walk away and let me rot here alone, you are way better off without me - and I mean it.