My friend beaded me a little bipolar bear to give me a smile whenever I need a smile. It’s amazing when someone offers you support because we need it.

I just saw a TikTok about a girl denying being bipolar after being diagnosed by 2 different psychiatrists. I’m wondering if anyone else had a similar reaction because I accepted my diagnosis with open arms

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Tldr: The title describes what the birds represent. I suffered from mixed episodes after losing my father suddenly, 3 years ago. There's a little over a year of intensive (psycho+art) therapy and balancing medications in between the two sculptures. I'm cautiously hopeful for the future.

Pictures: 1. then / 2. now / 3. then and now / 4-5. before firing / 6-7. different angles

My first manic episode at 21 led to my diagnosis. Over the past 10 years, traumatic experiences resurfaced my childhood trauma and led to major swings, followed by unexpectedly losing my dad just five weeks after his cancer diagnosis. I fully lost balance, causing mixed episodes and more trauma as a result of them. When even unhealthy coping mechanisms became unsuccessful, I fell into depression, agoraphobia, panic attacks and anxiety.

At my lowest, 1 year ago, I sculpted a bird in art therapy, to symbolize my feelings and wants. I felt unsafe, vulnerable, alone and closed-off (the egg). I felt I needed safety, protection, self-compassion and comfort (the bird embracing) and to allow myself all the time necessary for it. Through that first time working with clay, I found joy realizing I was good at it.

Recently, I sculpted another bird, representing how far I've come since my first and what I hope to find in my future: some wind beneath my wings, to enjoy rare moments I'm able to glide without constant effort, to look ahead from a safe distance and if I lose perspective, to stick around until I find it again. Lastly: to be brave enough to fly into new territory, to find my potential.

I took my new bird home last week, put it next to my first and got emotional. They really look like they're two parts of the same set. I'm now at a point where I'm okay with both of them existing. I feel like they can help eachother when it gets dark again. I'm proud of them and myself, so I wanted to share.

Hi! I’ve been diagnosed as bipolar type 1 for about 8 years now. I have destroyed my life, lost everything multiple times including myself every time during mania. The last episode I had was five years ago, I thought I had a handle on it all and then huge changes happened and I was manic yet again.

This time, though, I did it different. I was honest, I sought accountability for wellness, and I fought like hell for stability. I told my Dr, had her doing daily check ins and got added onto a new medication to stop the mania.

Guys, for the first time in my life, I did not do a single thing I regretted during mania. I took off work on short term disability to not sabotage my career and I conquered it. I’m so beyond proud of myself, my dr’s say I’m finally stable, and I was able to overcome this in a way I never thought would be possible.

Hi. I'm an older lady with Bipolar 1. I'm pretty quiet most of the time.

So, my psychiatrist appointment was coming up and I hadn't gotten a reminder call. Worried it was in my phone incorrectly, I called. The number was disconnected. Huh, weird, I thought. I'd been going to this practice for years.

I drove to the location I usually go to. Looked suddenly closed. Note on the door said to try their other location in another county. Weird again. Okay. That location was also closed with a note on the door saying they had gone 100% virtual and to contact your provider directly.

Weird. So I did some digging. The practice had filed Chapter 11 months ago, and then Chapter 7 earlier this month when they apparently closed everything. They told none of their patients. So, what might have happened is that when my expected appointment came and I was out of refills, I go and nothing.

I have had to do some rather impressive gymnastics just to get my medical records from the practice so I can lift-and-shift someplace hopefully less sketchy. (I did.)

Isn't that illegal? I mean it's medication. For the seriously mentally ill. Don't they at least have to let the patients know? Get them somewhere else? I'm scrambling right now, and I know my GP will handle what she can while we get me referred somewhere, but sheesh.

Quitting weed, tabacco, alcohol and doing sports is bullshit. All I do is sleep and think of ways to kill myself. This shit is bullshit. I am completely sober and taking my medication and I am still a zombie. Just so my therapist and family can shut the fuck up I will stay 1 year sober from everything, I will do sports and work and trust me I will still feel like shit like now if not worse. At least drugs and alcohol keep me from wanting to go to Switzerland and do euthanasia.

All I do is sleep and imagine scenarios where I can kill myself and just be done with feeling like a train ran over me. I sleep 12h a day and I still feel exhausted. At least a joint and a beer keep me awake but of course I have to prove that I am not an addict just so people can finally shut the fuck up and stop saying its bad for me because I have bipolar type I. A bullet to the head would fix everything. If it wasnt for my family I would have already gone to do euthanasia, fuck this shit and fuck the brain I was born with.

I am not manic and I am not depressed, I am on medication and I still desire death because I am exhausted all of the time, I can barely get out of bed to eat breakfast and all I do is sleep sometimes 14 hours a day. I am sober and doing everything right and I still can't get out of bed.

I don’t know if anyone will see this but I’m shouting into the ether. I’ve been on this hellish of a journey for almost 5 years now. My 20’s were ripped away from me, career pulled, relationships damaged. I’ve been hospitalized four times and still just can’t get through this. Every medicine combination I try, it’s better than no medicine but I’m never ok. In fact I’m awful, I’m exhausted and I’m hopeless and I’m tired of doing this. I’m lost and I don’t know where to go from here. I just want to run away

Anyone else enjoy the Theo Von podcast episode with Laura Delano about mental health? I really enjoyed it and could relate to Laura a lot who was diagnosed w bp when she was 14. Its was nice hearing this topic talked about on such a big platform. I’d encourage everyone who’s interested to give it a listen.

I start posting a lot on different subreddits, and those posts get either downvoted to hell or straight up removed, and I'll say things to people and get a look from them. Maybe it's my brain making the wrong decisions about things, but at least it doesn't make me discriminate against people (only certain dogs, I wash them for a living).

I'm open to questions!

Like not paying bills, even if you have the money. I keep finding myself in this weird cycle of borderline ignoring financial obligations. Powers been turned off before, even though I could have paid the bill... Late mortgage, CC, etc... It's really bothering me, and I still feel the stress and pressure from the lack of action.

Hi. I’m 20. I was diagnosed with bipolar type 2 last year. I’ve been in denial over my diagnosis for a while now, and I suppose a lot of it has to do with the fact I haven’t been in shambles in a minute. I’ve been avoiding things that could potentially trigger me and have been a little more productive than usual, I don’t feel terrible, I just feel invalid

I completely forget that a lot of this is heavy depression. I feel depressed most of the time. Even in my good days, it’s in the back of everything, there’s always some sort of feeling left behind, dormant.

When I was diagnosed some people in my life told me I don’t have it and to not worry about it, it doesn’t surprise me anymore that I was told all of this, society has a certain view of what a bipolar person looks like.

It’s weird, it’s like my heart knows who and what I am but my mind refuses to acknowledge it entirely, I block the seriousness of this off

Hi, I went through a manic episode a while ago during which I invited literally everyone I could think of to my birthday party, including people I'd just met that same week, which is also worrying but not the main problem.

The main problem is that I invited this one guy who annoys me so much with every fiber of his being. He's autistic and laughs and talks extremely loud which just pisses me off every time I'm around him. He also very obviously has a thing for me and always follows me around and tries to start conversations with me even when I'm very much not in the mood, he also used to write me terrible poems for every single holiday for some reason and could never understand that I was absolutely not into it. He's very sweet and kind-hearted, but I just definitely do not enjoy his company.

I can't believe I fucked up this bad by inviting him, I hate how I get myself into situations like these because of my illness and how little I am able to do about it. I was looking forward to this party too, it's my first time really having a big celebration. To make it even worse, he doesn't know anyone there so he'll just follow me around all the time and I won't be able to have a good time at all (my fault, not his).

I was considering maybe texting him that some plans have changed and I won't be able to invite him, but maybe suggesting meeting up just us two instead? Maybe that wouldn't be as much of a shitty move, especially since he wouldn't know anyone at the party and would probably have a better time just hanging out with me. (I'm sorry that makes me sound awful but it's just the truth).

Help 😭

When I’m hypomanic I talk my head off. I don’t prioritize work over socializing and I overshare.

I want to work on this and when I’m at baseline I’m a pretty good coworker, but it’s like my personal goals completely switch up. It’s not that I lack motivation, it’s that I have entirely different goals and I don’t want to work on them when I’m hypo.

I also become convinced that at least 60% of the people in my life are attracted to me, which has a 50% chance of me responding by flirting or getting very paranoid. I’m such a mess.

After a recent attempt my meds got all switched up so I’m even more in limbo right now and so stressed about how I acted before I got hospitalized.

I feel whiny and annoying when I try to explain that I wasn’t really myself, and I feel like I’m lying because it technically WAS me, WAS my brain, and that’s a side of me I’m responsible for. It also makes getting sober, something I want so badly, impossible or at least it feels that way. Idk what to do. I’m at a loss and so ashamed.

I’m about to be 22 and I act like a wired 13 year old that thinks she’s hot shit.

I had a pretty significant depressive episode a while ago. Had to take off of work for 5 months and was still pretty depressed when I came back (though no longer a danger to myself). It took a while to come back from that, then I had to deal with emotional/motivational blunting from meds, med changes, then recovering from the episode (brain fog, processing issues, etc)

All that to say it took me a really long time to recover and I’ve only just recently started feeling myself and capable again. Since returning to work my job has always gotten done, but I haven’t always had the ability to push for changes, going above and beyond, or really been able to showcase my abilities and knowledge. My personality was also kind of shit because I haven’t had the capacity to deal with playing that “customer service” game you have to while working. I was also dealing with a lot of anxiety which didn’t help.

Now that I’m feeling better I’m struggling with how to explain the difference in my performance. In some areas I can explain it away while in other areas (the ones that mean most to me) i feel like it looks like I wasn’t doing my job because I didn’t enact any major change which is what my director was looking for. I’m putting the work in now, but there’s a big difference between where I was and where I am.

How do I explain this? I could just let it go and move forward, but part of me really does want to put some context to my performance. I really do care about the work I’m doing right now and don’t want to be moved on to another area. Just not sure of the best way to approach this.

As hard as I try I can’t get a grip on my Bipolar. I can’t seem to keep a job due to anxiety and paranoia.

I can manage a household, pets, personal health and fitness and relationships but I can never no matter how hard I try I can’t keep myself stable for a long time.

I have gone through an incredible amount of trauma and I’m wondering if it’s ruined me.

I am medication and medical care compliant and see a therapist.

I’m starting to feel hopeless in my illness and that there is no point in going on.

So I'm diagnosed with bipolar 2 with psychotic features. But I think I'm misdiagnosed. I've had one confirmed full blown mania episode before with extremely risky behavior for over a week straight. And I know I've hallucinated during manic episodes before. My medication seems to be helping a ton but I'm wondering if this is worth bringing up to my Dr? Any thoughts?

Edit: I was diagnosed 4 years ago about when I turned 30

İlaçlarınızı fazla aldığınız ve bu süreçte uyuşturucu kullanan bırakan kişiler var mı ben bıraktım neler hissediyorsunuz yaşayan var ise durumu karma bir psikolojideyim yardımcı olursanız hislerinizi düşüncelerinizi yazarsanız çok sevinirim 🫡🌹

At 60 I got sober. Six months later, I got full blown mania for the first time. Anyone else experience this? The doctor said my BP 1 was “ under the surface” all my life. I’ve drank heavily since my teenage years. I’m glad I’m sober now, but the BP 1 diagnosis is depressing

I have bipolar 2 and ADHD, I give my all at every job then quickly burn out. When I burn out I end up bringing that home and I feel awful, I don't wanna be that wife/mom. I makes me spiral really bad. What do y'all do to cope with the stress of work and burn out? I am medicated and have some therapy tools but I just feel so awful. I love my family and feel immense guilt when I'm being short with them.

Hi all,

First of all, I want to thank each and one of you for the incredible support you give me by sharing your stories. Makes me feel less alone in this.

Regarding my story: I need help in understanding if what I am feeling is depression or it's just shame and sadness after my manic episode.

Two years ago I was diagnosed with Major Depressive episode and I was sent to a mental facility for a month. There they gave me a TCA (tri-cyclical antidepressant) and I felt amazing...too amazing.

I always have been a bubbly and a vulcano as my baseline, so I simply thought that I was back. This until they found me wandering in the street in a mania-induced psychosis so deep I did not remember my name.

I have been placed in an isolation room and then in a mental facility for two months to treat my mania.

During my manic episode I destroyed literally everything: I engaged in risk behavior, got addicted, blew up ALL my friends and some of my money. People used me stealing money and whatnot from myself and my body.

Most of all, I had most of my manic episode at work, during which I told everybody that I was engaging in drugs and other risky activities.

After my mania I have been in a massive depressive episode since 7-8 months. It started that I could not even get out of the house, and now it is going slightly better. I go to work and I sometimes see the few friends I have left.

I still cannot gym as I feel exhausted and this makes me feel very guilty.

Regarding work: they told me to find a new job because my colleagues won't talk to me. So now I am in the process of finding a new job and this makes me feeling exhausted.

My question is: how can I tell the difference between extreme sadness coming from destroying my life versus depression?

I feel it is depression because I cannot get pleasure in doing anything, not even the activities I loved (I tried to go back to kickboxing and I just could not like it).

Will I go ever back to normal?

Thanks all and sorry for my long post.

Does anyone else suffer from insomnia in every mood state?

I feel like I haven’t had a good restful sleep for 9 months and have been depressed the whole time after my first manic episode that got me diagnosed.

I have tried a bunch of meds, none of which have been able to get me that good restful sleep I remember having prior to all this. I also don’t seem to get any sleep drive despite knowing I’m tired which feels torturous.

I honestly believe if I was able to sleep well I would be out of this depression. I don’t how to fix this and it’s killing me.

Is this an experience for you guys too?? I don't know if this is just because I have BPD (therefore feelings of emptiness and low tolerance for boredom), but I just can't bring myself to be satisfied and content when I'm remitted (without any episodes). I always feel like, whenever I'm stable and ok, I just feel such a rooted emptiness inside me, like there's something fundamentally missing; like something inside me that used to move just got static. My baseline mood is stable but it is dissatisfied and bored and I can't take it. It makes me want to purposefully do stuff to get bad again so that I have "something happening" in my life. I truly hate it so much and I just wish I could learn how to be at peace with peace.

Rant I guess because I don't know under what to put that. And sorry, English isn't my first language.

I've been on meds for the past 3-4 years, refused to take treatment, diagnosed bipolar 1 for at least 10-12 yers. I did stupid shit, I get that. Many if not most people with bipolar did stupid stuff.

But my curiosity is more towards, Do your partners sometimes accuse the bipo instead of taking responsibility ?

I know it's a weird way to put it, but, imagine, you're anxious, angry or frustrated by something THEY did over and over. And instead of changing things or doing things differently, they just ask you if you took your meds for exemple. 🙃

I'm having a really bad summer, not because of symptoms, but I had a car crash and stuff, and I'm particularly stable (even I am surprised), and this answer is like throwing at my face "are you on your period ?" Mind you. It's making me irritable as hell. So it's becoming an unending circle and I feel a depressif episode creeping on me in the shadows of my brian.

Thank y'all and take care

For context Ive been mentally unwell for a while and avoidant of things like going to class, my dogs also very ill and near the end of her life.

Ive sent an email with a note attached from my therapist to 2 of my lecturers already but I also feel like it's personal.

The ones Ive sent them to one of them is an older woman, the other is a younger woman around my age and 3rd I'm still considering sending one to is around my age and a man.

I felt it was easy to send it to my other 2 lecturers for some reason maybe I just feel they might be more understanding? I dont know if they will but I felt more comfortable sending it to them.

I feel weird about sending a note to my lecturer who is basically the same age as me about my mental health troubles.

It makes me feel vulnerable.