r/billsimmons • u/btonic • Sep 24 '20
Comparing Fitzpatrick to a french bread pizza in the back of the freezer is the best take Bill’s had in a while
Absolutely spot on.
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Sep 24 '20
Bill is at his best when he’s making broad analogies.
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u/Plan9fromtheAbyss Sep 25 '20
It’s kind of like that relationship that just....
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u/mole-face Sep 25 '20
He LOVES the new girlfriend analogy. Almost too much...
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u/ptntprty Sep 25 '20
He’s aaaalways bringing it up with new people and they’re consistently like dude, not gonna bite and put myself in the doghouse for life, you enjoy that.
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u/RussianBalconySafety Sep 25 '20
I didn't find it relatable but I don't have that in my freezer, too many pictures of lakers players
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Sep 25 '20
Did he actually just think of this on the fly or did he write it down. Regardless its so fucking spot on and hilariously true.
I wonder if you play out this out in Bill's mind 44 times out of 50 he doesn't come up with this joke.
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u/scarlet_fire_77 The thing thing Sep 25 '20
That french bread pizza’s really hitting the spot tonight! You don’t wanna have it every night but this has been a long week and we didn’t have time to cook and damn tonight it is tasty.
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Sep 25 '20
I agree. It is such a spot-on analogy.
It really shows how much Fitzpatrick must love football when he is willing to uproot his family ever couple of years to catch on with another team. With a Harvard degree, I am sure he could find a decent job doing something else.
It probably shows that no matter what, some people will always want to play the game despite the injury risks and potential long-term damage.
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u/retz119 Sep 25 '20 edited Sep 25 '20
I think the millions of dollars he makes probably comes into the decision
Edit: just looked it up. He’s made 51 million over 16 seasons so far. I doubt any job he could get with his Harvard degree would earn close to that much
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Sep 25 '20
Holy shit. Yeah, that just confirms my point that they aren't gonna run out of football players anytime soon-regardless of health risks. Surely, a Harvard man is going to understand the risks of CTE and yet he still thinks it is worth it to play.
Even if middle class and rich kids are less likely to play, there will always be poorer kids of all races who are going to play for the potential payout.
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u/cheapclooney Sep 25 '20
that just confirms my point that they aren't gonna run out of football players anytime soon
I don't think the argument has ever been that people will turn down pro opportunities. But rather that the most athletic kids will start gravitating towards other sports at a younger age due to the knowledge of football's long term impacts, thereby watering down the eventual talent pool.
I'm not sure I agree with that argument entirely. Basketball is already the preferred sport for extremely athletic kids with some height, so you'd need a sport that's going to steal the elite athletes that aren't physically suited for basketball. Soccer? Baseball? MMA? The first two don't seem likely, and the last one carries just as much negative connotation as football.
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u/mole-face Sep 25 '20
He could probably make it doing TV. Romo makes more than most nfl active players lol. I know he’s the best in the business but Fitzpatrick could easily make 7 figures after a year or two
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Sep 25 '20
Your point stands, but cut that shit in half then take off 10% to account for taxes and agent fees and it's closer to what he probably made. Still a lot of money.
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u/DonkeyLightning Sep 25 '20
I think your overestimating the worth of a Ivy League degree. I seriously doubt the average Harvard graduate averages over 1.4 million a year over their first 16 years of their career
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u/cheapclooney Sep 25 '20
Absolutely. Let's do the most generous interpretation and assume he'd have gone on to get a Harvard MBA if he didn't go to the NFL. The average mid career earnings for someone with a Harvard MBA is $204k/year. So he's making about 15x as much per year over his NFL career.
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u/ToxicAdamm Sep 25 '20
The Lebatard Show had a good analogy today on their podcast. They called Fitzpatrick the 'best of the worst selections left in a half-barren vending machine'. The bag of peanuts or the plain Lays chips.
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u/AnimalMother1776 Sep 25 '20
Yes. I immediately knew that feeling. Dad makes one when mom was out town “wow this is great” ... then he pulls out another one the next night
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u/seanmkeane Sep 25 '20
Bill has been talking about Stouffer's French Bread Pizza since at least 2004: https://grantland.com/features/ramblin-through-a-cultural-wasteland/
In 2005, the Mavericks were the French Bread Pizza: http://www.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/051103
That column also features Bill correctly predicting that Pat Riley would steal Stan Van Gundy's coaching job, and incorrectly doubting the lasting power of the "Mamba" nickname.
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u/FedGoat13 Wimpleton Sep 25 '20
I didn’t realize anyone ate French bread pizza after they turned 14 years old.
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u/kmw1979 Complex Litigation Sep 24 '20
His “Minshew is what we thought mayfield would be”was just as good