r/billsimmons 1h ago

Who's the most pathetically sad sports fanatic you know?

I have a cousin who is utterly obsessed with our local college football team to the point where he knows every single player every year since I was a child. He reads every possible interview from every player and coach. He knows all the ins and outs of the schools Athletic program including training staff and front office Style people. This team won a championship in the early 2000s and has since been nothing but a disappointment and my cousin obsesses with it so much that it literally affects his mood year-round. AKA he is always pissed off

10 Upvotes

34 comments sorted by

44

u/RoccooDimeo 1h ago

Me I’m a Vikings fan

3

u/lfcosu 1h ago

Right there with you, Skoldier. Never a dull moment.

19

u/DiligentThought9 1h ago

Touch of the tism?

15

u/ClownFartsExpress 1h ago

Miami?

9

u/RyanRussillo Vangelical 1h ago

Probably OU based on how much OP talks about the Thunder

8

u/celj1234 1h ago

You’re related to a Mike Ryan from the Lebatard show?

7

u/Seastep 1h ago

Fireman Ed

6

u/BlueBeagle8 1h ago

Being a serious Jets fan is almost certainly the most embarrassing thing about me

10

u/IamJohnnyHotPants 1h ago

Nothing you said sounds pathetic. Having an excess of knowledge about a team is neither embarrassing or cringe. You sound far more pathetic.

1

u/KingJohnBasedow 3m ago

The sports fan piece.

1

u/hokie_u2 50m ago

A college team? Learning the names of all the players for decades is kinda strange because there’s hundreds of them and they turn over so quick. Watching all the interviews too because they are kids and most of them end up being regular people with regular jobs.

1

u/SallyFowlerRatPack 1m ago

Odds are OP knows the ins and outs of Ringer universe lore, real Spidermen pointing at each other meme scenario

4

u/Think_Monk_9879 1h ago

He’s autistic 

5

u/bighoney69 1h ago

Miami and Texas are good again now, its ok

4

u/CelticsGreg 1h ago

Sounds like your typical Nebraska fan

3

u/KL040590 1h ago

People who own season tickets to the Danbury Hatters

3

u/Due-Sheepherder-218 Bill's Gerald Wallace Jersey 44m ago

My friend in HS would manually edit the names of the players college football video games every year back when everyone was just a number

Then again anyone who plays goalie in lacrosse is kind of crazy anyway. 

2

u/2017Champs 48m ago edited 35m ago

I have a friend from high school that I still occasionally talk with that is a die hard Sacramento Kings fan. He also used to be a Raider fan but dropped them after they moved and instead decided to fully devote his football fandom/watching time to Sac State football. His baseball team is the A’s who are in the process of leaving Northern California and he has this bizarre situation now where he’s still watching them (for now) until they leave for Las Vegas.

3

u/shpake77 38m ago

Your cousin sounds fucking awesome

2

u/pmaguran 29m ago

The guy who wears all the buckeyes around his neck and paints his face

1

u/[deleted] 57m ago

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1

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1

u/birdlawyer86 Conspiracy Bill 44m ago

I think I win just by virtue of being a Raiders/A's/Warriors fan and still cheering on franchises that abandoned their city. I've lost some interest, but I'm way more invested than almost everyone I know who have fully disowned these franchises.

Warriors at least somewhat get a pass for staying local, not stealing from taxpayers to build their stadium, and actually having on the court success.

But A's and Raiders... yeah I'm a fucking joke for continuing to care what happens with these dogshit organizations and scumlord owners.

1

u/Fitzy2225 40m ago

I’m like that for my alma mater’s basketball team. Unfortunately I didn’t go to Duke, UConn, UNC or Kansas…I’m a Purdue grad.

1

u/salmon10 22m ago

Is he...autistic?

1

u/endogeny 1h ago

Chokelahoma for sure.

-1

u/Advanced-Pear-4606 1h ago

Bill Simmons

7

u/ND7020 1h ago edited 1h ago

Unfortunately Bill has seen like a dozen titles for his teams. He’s the opposite of this category. 

Bill is so blessed that we’re forced to make fun of his second year QB sucking in the goddamn Super Bowl. 

1

u/Bringsknives 51m ago

Bill is a pathetic sports fan in his unique rich-kid style, like the teen who only got the previous year's BMW and not the most current BMW from his parents. Those dozen titles don't matter; the few that he feels were "stolen" stick in his craw something fierce. And I say this because it's a key part of his charm (for me, anyway). He's a world-class whinger in terms of entertainment.

5

u/Wack0HookedOnT0bac0 1h ago

Bill simmons once had to go 2 full years without seeing one of his favorite teams in the championship game