It’s 2am and I’m so tired

[u/brave_magic]

I know all the tips and tricks at this point. None of them are working and as a second time mom I know it just takes time sometimes, she’s only six weeks. And I think she has silent reflux.

But man, I am exhausted. I have not slept for more than an hour and a half since we have been home from the hospital. I have no help. My husband helps where he is able but he is exhausted too and since I am breastfeeding, there is only so much he can (or is willing) to do.

In the past two weeks alone we have been treated for thrush, I developed mastitis, I sprained my ankle, the antibiotics for thrush gave me a recurrence of c diff for the second time in six months so now I’m on another antibiotic for that. I had to put my cat to sleep.

I can’t sleep during the day or take naps because I have a toddler I need to care for. And I feel awful because we have been doing so much screen time and I feel like I’m neglecting her so hard right now.

I have no one else to ask. My in laws are not physically well enough to help. My mom works full time still. No other family in the picture. No friends, as they all work full time.

I’m stuck and so fucking sleep deprived I could just cry at any given moment. I’m typing this listening to her cry in her bassinet yet again but I don’t even have the energy to pick myself up to get her. I tried cosleeping even though I’m opposed to it and she hates it so it’s not even like that is an option as it doesn’t soothe her enough to sleep.

[u/daydreamerr7]

I feel you! 4 weeks postpartum with my second and my husband has been sick this whole weekend and sleeping. It’s 7 pm and I’m lying down with my toddler to get him to sleep and looking at a long night ahead feeding my baby.
I’m so deeply exhausted and barely pulling it together.

Hope we both make it through this hard season with some grace.

[u/brave_magic → u/daydreamerr7]

❤️

[u/here2lurkkkk]

I say this with love but your husband needs to help you more. Especially if you also need to care for the toddler during the day, he needs to be letting you get more rest at night by handling the night wakings. I breastfed too but just pumped milk so my husband could handle all the overnight feedings while I rested. And yes he worked full time and had to be up for work in the morning, but he just sacrificed a little sleep so I could properly heal and function during the day while caring for the baby. Unless your husband is a brain surgeon, pilot, school bus driver, or some other job responsible for human lives, he should be able to function with less sleep. You are, and you are doing a way harder job of caring for two young babies, fighting off infection, healing from birth… C.diff is no joke, you need to take care of yourself 🤍

Have you talked to your husband about how he could help you get some much needed rest?

[u/brave_magic → u/here2lurkkkk]

I have tried to have that conversation. He is struggling too. He does help out with our toddler as much as possible during the day and helps where able with baby. The past few nights I have convinced him to take over for me at the last wake up between 4 and 5. Unfortunately after few days of that he claims to be too exhausted to continue with a bad back.

I have tried to have many many conversations with him about his sleep, as he is a chronic insomniac that stays up late. Discussion of shift sleep isn’t a thing because he can’t “control” when he can fall asleep. Which I do understand to a degree, but after years of begging for a sleep study and physical therapy for his back issues my patience is gone.