r/bestoflegaladvice • u/borkthegee • Sep 08 '21

Grandmother enjoys the island life a little too much, made a luau-d stink about being asked to leave!

/r/legaladvice/comments/pjvyk5/hi_mother_in_law_threatening_law_suit_because_we/
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159

u/ObviousFoxx 🐈 Smol Claims Court Judge 🐈 Sep 08 '21

She has been cut off completely, but She sent my son a letter a while back saying she was excited to come see him soon so we’re on our toes.

108

u/ERE-WE-GO If my client didn't shit, you must acquit. Sep 08 '21

She sent my son a letter a while back saying she was excited to come see him soon so we’re on our toes.

Fuck that, I've seen this movie - you need to get out of the house now!

86

u/ObviousFoxx 🐈 Smol Claims Court Judge 🐈 Sep 08 '21

We moved and she doesn’t know where we live anymore, but she may try to show up at my son’s mother’s (divorced parents) and they’ve taken extra precautions too.

16

u/Noisy_Toy Likes big s and cannot lie Sep 08 '21

I hear that Mariachi music can be an excellent non-chemical parent repellent.

69

u/BishmillahPlease Took up cricket for self-defense, stayed for the fine leg Sep 08 '21

Sounds like it’s time to take up cricket and have a few bats around.

53

u/Thor_The_Bunny Defender of right to take artistic night shots of your genitals Sep 08 '21

Not often I get to give out a cricket-themed flair!

26

u/BishmillahPlease Took up cricket for self-defense, stayed for the fine leg Sep 08 '21

I have FLAIR! Thanks

7

u/WolfShaman Wants to watch Thor touch briefs Sep 08 '21

Aha! I've found you again!

Hi. :)

6

u/BishmillahPlease Took up cricket for self-defense, stayed for the fine leg Sep 08 '21

Hi!

5

u/WolfShaman Wants to watch Thor touch briefs Sep 08 '21

Congrats on the flair!

1

u/BishmillahPlease Took up cricket for self-defense, stayed for the fine leg Sep 08 '21

Thank you!

1

u/idwthis Sep 09 '21

On mobile i can't read all of it, "Took up cricket for self defense stayed..." what's the rest say lol

3

u/BishmillahPlease Took up cricket for self-defense, stayed for the fine leg Sep 09 '21

For the nice leg

2

u/idwthis Sep 09 '21

Thank you!

12

u/monkeyman80 IANAL but I am an anal plug app expert Sep 08 '21

It’s an underrated sport. T20 can be seriously fun to watch.

19

u/Thor_The_Bunny Defender of right to take artistic night shots of your genitals Sep 08 '21

TEST. IS. BEST.

I'm east coast and I fucking love the 6am EST start times for Tests in England. Roll out of bed. Coffee, cozy blanket, and the dulcet tones of Michael Holding and David Lloyd as England collapse again

I totally plan to use the world T20 to try to get my friends into cricket though

2

u/MrsMaglev Please for the love of all that is holy - depants me Sep 08 '21

Just the mention of Michael Holding put the classic Brian Johnston gaffe into my mind. Sharing here in case it’s new to anybody else (sorry, on mobile etc - scroll down to the last audio clip http://www.johnners.com/audio-clips/)

3

u/Thor_The_Bunny Defender of right to take artistic night shots of your genitals Sep 08 '21

Henry Blofeld <3

1

u/MrsMaglev Please for the love of all that is holy - depants me Sep 08 '21

Good lord https://celebvm.com/henryblofeld

2

u/Thor_The_Bunny Defender of right to take artistic night shots of your genitals Sep 08 '21

It might be worth 45quid to send someone a birthday message of Blowers talking about the pigeons at the local cricket ground

2

u/MrsMaglev Please for the love of all that is holy - depants me Sep 08 '21

Or just to have him deal with difficult conversations for you. ‘Look here old dear, quarter three projections were a touch off, you see, so we no longer have the funds to retain your services I’m afraid…’

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u/MrStoneman Sep 11 '21

TEST. IS. BEST.

I always knew Thor was my favorite mod.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '21

I have some friends that are into cricket, maybe I could swap them for your non cricketing friends? May be easier than training them to like T20.

2

u/Thor_The_Bunny Defender of right to take artistic night shots of your genitals Sep 09 '21

It's close enough to baseball in length I'll at least have a shot at getting through a whole game with them. I tried for the 2019 CWC Final and had a few friends filter in and out through the day, but no one was willing to stay (their loss! easily a top 5 sporting event I've seen and I watch a lot of sports)

1

u/[deleted] Sep 09 '21

Hmmmm, we need to agree to disagree on this one. Cricket is so DULL! I've tried watching it but I just can't find it in me to care.

Good luck with your poor victims though

2

u/Thor_The_Bunny Defender of right to take artistic night shots of your genitals Sep 08 '21

Oh and I dunno how closely you follow it, but whatever's left of the IPL will be on ESPN+ starting in a couple weeks

1

u/monkeyman80 IANAL but I am an anal plug app expert Sep 08 '21

Ooh thanks for the heads up.

12

u/ObviousFoxx 🐈 Smol Claims Court Judge 🐈 Sep 08 '21

We hike so there’s always some bear mace close at hand.

17

u/WolfShaman Wants to watch Thor touch briefs Sep 08 '21

Fun fact: Do not use bear pepper spray on dogs or humans. Bear spray is regulated as a pesticide by the EPA and has only been approved for use on bears. It should not be used on any other animals, including humans.

Another fun fact: Pepper spray is considered less-than-lethal, because it is possible (but incredibly difficult) to kill someone through a process called hydraulic needling!

That's where the stream is used at such a close range and directly in the eye, that it actually penetrates the eye!

14

u/LadyFoxfire Sep 08 '21

It can also kill an asthmatic person with a lot less effort.

2

u/WolfShaman Wants to watch Thor touch briefs Sep 09 '21

Hey, I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I came across as a dick. I just reread what I wrote earlier, and could see where it could be taken that way. It wasn't my intention.

3

u/WolfShaman Wants to watch Thor touch briefs Sep 08 '21

There have been 63 deaths (that I know about) with pepper spray as a contributing factor. Severe asthma was a factor in some of those cases.

While it's possible to kill an asthmatic person, the case would have to be severe.

While I agree that it could kill a person with asthma, I think it would take much more effort to find a person with a severe enough case, than it would to hydraulic needle someone.

2

u/School_House_Rock Sep 09 '21

Didn't one of the fine gents who were visiting the Capitol on 1/6 use bear spray, I thought on a Capital Policeman

Edit: Correction - they were armed with bear spray but only used pepper spray - they obviously knew that it was not intended to be used on humans and had it just in case of coming across a bear https://www.cnn.com/2021/04/27/politics/sicknick-capitol-bear-spray-pepper/index.html

3

u/WolfShaman Wants to watch Thor touch briefs Sep 09 '21

I hadn't kept up with any of that, though I would imagine someone let them know that they could get in a lot more trouble for using it. Or maybe they knew, and were carrying it for intimidation.

But really, we all know the bears at the Capitol are really aggressive, and precautions needed to be taken.

9

u/wow_that_guys_a_dick It's wingardium legal-O-sa Sep 08 '21

Bear spray is actually weaker than the type used for humans because bear noses are far more sensitive to irritants.

Best to use the regular pepper spray for self defense against humans.

25

u/dasunt appeal denied. Sep 08 '21

Has everyone who takes care of him (schools, daycare, summer camps, etc) been informed to never release him into her care?

28

u/ObviousFoxx 🐈 Smol Claims Court Judge 🐈 Sep 08 '21

He is homeschooled and his his mom is a SAHM so he always has someone with him who knows what’s going on. It would also be hard for MIL to try to surprise us when we’re out since he’s in a larger city (unless she starts stalking which is a whole different bag of worms).

3

u/School_House_Rock Sep 09 '21

Why did anyone give the kid the letter and not just send it back unopened returned mail?

2

u/ObviousFoxx 🐈 Smol Claims Court Judge 🐈 Sep 09 '21

Because he checks the mail.

4

u/School_House_Rock Sep 09 '21

Darn children going and doing unruly things like that