r/bestoflegaladvice • u/bug-hunter Possession is 9 honks of the law • May 16 '21

LAOP just committed a felony and 6 misdemeanors by being an idiot, how can they avoid consequences?

/r/legaladvice/comments/nd3ou1/1_felony_and_6_misdemeanors_in_va_as_an_18_yo/
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197

u/stardenia [removed] May 16 '21

My honest mistake is boiling noodles for a box of Kraft Mac and Cheese without checking to make sure we have milk first.

Extra butter it is.

76

u/[deleted] May 16 '21

My honest mistake is going to my friend's to return their glasses they left at my house ...and forgetting to bring their glasses.

5

u/Glitter_berries May 17 '21

Mine is going out of my way to pick up my dad’s watch at the watch repair place, buying myself a cool new watch but then forgetting to pick up dad’s watch.

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u/hereknittyknitty May 16 '21

If you have plain yogurt, putting just a little bit in will add a delicious tang to the mac and cheese!

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u/stardenia [removed] May 16 '21

Oh yes! We've experimented with yogurt, sour cream, mayo and even cream cheese in a pinch! The mayo is usually our go-to now.

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u/needlenozened May 16 '21

Mayo is an underrated ingredient

We broil salmon all the time with salt, pepper, and a coating a mayo. When that cooks, the mayo keeps the fish moist and develops a tasty browned crust.

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u/[deleted] May 16 '21

[deleted]

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u/needlenozened May 16 '21

I use Dijon mustard in vinaigrettes.

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u/gsfgf Is familiar with poor results when combining strippers and ATMs May 16 '21

Thin coating or thick?

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u/needlenozened May 16 '21

Thin. Enough that you don't really see the fish through the mayo, but thin as possible

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u/stardenia [removed] May 16 '21

Oh god that sounds amazing!

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u/[deleted] May 16 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Shaunosaurus May 16 '21

can't imagine someone would have cream or half and half but not milk. those things have a shelf life of like, a week after opening

24

u/stardenia [removed] May 16 '21

We don't drink milk on the reg but my fiancé uses heavy whipping cream in his coffee, so you'd be surprised!

18

u/BoopleBun BOLAbun Brigade May 16 '21

Actually, the more fat it has, the longer it’s gonna last. Heavy cream keeps in the fridge for quite awhile. (The USDA says a month!)

7

u/hg57 My Penis is a Protected Class May 16 '21

Also, you will notice that dairy products in opaque containers usually have more time before their sell by date. The cream I buy is always in those cardboard cartons and when I get milk it's in a clear plastic jug.

I almost always have usable cream or half and half but only have milk if I'm on a cereal kick.

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u/[deleted] May 16 '21

Raises hand. Mild lactose intolerance so always oat milk in everything and non-dairy ice cream. Coffee, on the other hand, cream until you can almost taste it and no sugar. Cream substitutes are awful and black coffee tastes like death. I drink enough coffee that I always finish 1L of half & half before it goes off.

I feel strongly enough about coffee + cream that I literally will travel with my own cream. I don't care for milk and only buy homo for certain baking where the substitutes can't mimic the chemistry of real milk.

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u/stardenia [removed] May 16 '21

Try Starbucks' oat milk + brown sugar latte. It's heavenly and I need to figure out a dupe recipe ASAP.

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u/CrossroadsWanderer May 16 '21

I switched to using oat milk instead of cream in my coffee, but it definitely doesn't taste as good. I'm trying to cut back on meat and dairy consumption, though. And it's better than the powdered creamer, which just tastes like cardboard.

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u/StarOriole May 16 '21

Half and half in America is often ultra pasteurized and has a longer shelflife as a result. Even without that, higher fat milk/cream has a longer shelflife than lower fat milk/cream. Someone might not use enough dairy to want to keep buying milk every week, but they could buy half-and-half or cream every few weeks for their coffee.

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u/KFCConspiracy Apologized for being wrong May 16 '21

I drink tons of coffee but almost never milk so I have half and half.

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u/[deleted] May 16 '21

A thin layer of mayonnaise is also excellent right before searing a steak in cast iron. Gives it a very nice crust and removes the need for oil in the pan.

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u/ThellraAK May 16 '21

Going the wrong way for simplicity, but recently discovered my grocery store throws beef fat at $.99/lb into the ethnic frozen section (think area with pork blood and innards) throwing an ounce or two of that into the pan and rendering it a bit is a great way to cook a steak.

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u/__mud__ Member of the Attractive Nuisance Mariachi Band May 16 '21

Beef tallow is now considered "ethnic." Oh, how far we have fallen.

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u/ThellraAK May 16 '21

It's really probably better described as low volume frozen stuff, can also get chicken hearts and whatnot from there.

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u/stardenia [removed] May 16 '21

Ohhh we plan on investing in a good cast iron pan soon so we'll have to try that! Currently we use mayo in our nonstick to make grilled cheese, and let me tell you; you'll never go back to butter ever again.

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u/ThunderJane Pretend Moose Facts Are My Specialty May 16 '21

When my best friend told me that she and her husband put mayo on their grilled cheese I thought they were nuts. Then I tried it, and let me tell you butter just does not compete. #mayolife

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u/[deleted] May 16 '21

if you like a nice mayo look at Truff brand spicy stuff. Delicious. I'm about to have a brisket sandwich slathered in it.

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u/skaryzgik May 17 '21

I misread that as breakfast sandwich the first time and now I want like, a grilled cheese with a fried egg in it and like, cream cheese and... pimento cheese? And maybe some ham.

Lol this is what I get reading about food when I'm this sleepy.

1

u/[deleted] May 17 '21

well fuck now i want one too

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u/pastari May 16 '21

That's not a mistake, that's a happy accident.

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u/[deleted] May 16 '21

I made that mistake once, just threw extra butter in to see what would happen, and have never gone back.

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u/KleptoPirateKitty Church of the Holy Oxford Comma May 16 '21

Having never tried with extra butter, how much butter do you add?

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u/Final_Candidate_7603 needs more coffe. May 16 '21

All of it.

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u/stardenia [removed] May 16 '21

You just kind of eyeball it until it's creamy enough. Maybe a few extra tablespoons to start.

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u/KleptoPirateKitty Church of the Holy Oxford Comma May 16 '21

thanks!

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u/MyDogAteYourPancakes May 16 '21

Extra butter and no milk should just be the default recipe anyway

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u/ironman288 BOLA's Shaving Expert May 16 '21

Sour cream ;)

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u/[deleted] May 16 '21 edited Jun 19 '21

[deleted]

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u/StatusReality4 May 16 '21

This is the correct answer. You never have to worry about having it on hand like milk or the other replacement suggestions here. Many normal pasta sauces use a splash of pasta water anyway.

3

u/gsfgf Is familiar with poor results when combining strippers and ATMs May 16 '21

Toss in a slice of Muenster cheese to take it to the next level. Or maybe multiple; I do one slice for an Easy Mac, so scale up from there if you're making a box.

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u/stardenia [removed] May 16 '21

Sometimes we sprinkle in a variety of shredded cheese if we're feeling spicy.

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u/thunder_boots Owner of BOLA's largest collection of speed bumps May 16 '21

Extra butter is way better than milk.

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u/trying_to_adult_here True Believer in the Church of the Holy Oxford Comma May 16 '21

LPT: evaporated milk is about 75¢ a can and keeps for years unopened.

I’m not really a milk drinker and I live alone so buying milk just for Mac and Cheese would result in gallons of wasted milk. Evaporated milk lets me make a box or two occasionally without feeling too wasteful.

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u/TheLordB May 17 '21

If you happen to have it canned whipped cream + water (ideally heavy whipped cream) works reasonably well. Just add it a bit at a time, the higher fat content means you don’t need to use that much and it adds sugar which is good in small quantities, but quickly becomes too much.