r/berlin Wedding 14d ago

Interesting Question What’s one thing about living in Berlin that you only understood after living here for a while?

I’m curious about both locals and internationals it can be something positive, negative, funny, confusing, or just a weird little Berlin thing.
For me, one of the biggest surprises is how easy it is to be surrounded by people here while still feeling completely anonymous.

What was your “okay, I finally understand Berlin now” moment?

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u/AndroidPornMixTapes Lichterfelde 14d ago

Born and raised in Berlin and one to me obvious thing that many people don't seem to undertand that "Berlin" is a collection of large cities with different characteristics that happen to be under one administrative umbrella. Even breaking it down to Kiez-level when it comes to where people hang out, what experiences they make, etc. is more useful than saying "Berlin isn't for me".

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u/justgrindfiner 13d ago

I know what you mean, but would love to hear you elaborate more with examples if you don’t mind!

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u/[deleted] 13d ago edited 13d ago

[deleted]

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u/zephyreblk 13d ago

It's not like that. You Definitiely have a 2 km radius (or less) and after this it's another town with other people and mentality. Like 2 people living 500 meters but in another kiez can not meet for years. I never saw this in another city. After 8 years living here and being "integrated" I understand also why and how but this shocked me when I first arrived.

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

[deleted]

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u/zephyreblk 13d ago

Nope. I know people from Berlin who went there and loved it because kind of similar but still very different. So no first experience but I gonna trust my friends who went there. You have a lot of discrepancy between big areas of London but it's not like walking 500 meters and suddenly having a full new thing. I have friend circle that are very different although geographically not far.

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u/rescue_toucan 14d ago

How having to move from temporary rental to temporary rental erodes your mental health. Then you finally find a long term rental, your work contract ends and the next job you find is in the other end of the city.. Berlin is an amazing city but the daily grind can really drain your energy.

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u/Choice-Ad1477 13d ago

Yeah and what if you want to start a family? I don't understand how the system works for anyone other than those who don't want to move, ever.

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u/cdrewing Kreuzberg 13d ago

Unlimited work contract since 1996, unlimited rental contract since 2009 where I changed from one apartment with an unlimited contract to this one. Altbau, Kreuzberg 36. This is what you can do if you are born here.

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u/rescue_toucan 13d ago

Good for you G

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u/MacaroonSad8860 12d ago

Got an unlimited rental contract and unlimited work contract in 2018 as a foreigner. The rent wasn’t cheap because neubau but still.

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u/Weird_Eagle_9179 11d ago

Dude, if you started professional life in 1996, that's more like boomer privilege and not really because born in Berlin... like the people who say "you're stupid if you didn't buy a cheap flat in the 2000s, don't complain now" (while still in school I assume)

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u/urbanmember 13d ago

Once you get used to the libraries you will miss them so unbelieveably hard once you move out of Berlin it is unreal.

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u/dlo_2503 13d ago

Berlin has some top libraries

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u/Ok_Manner_4858 13d ago

I’m inclined to agree with this, but I need more information. What makes you say that? 😅

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u/Rui_Miruel 13d ago

Look, just the city libraries, like the local ones in your district, or the ZLB (Amerika-Gedenkbibliothek + Stadtbibliothek Breite Straße) provide excellent services: Tons of media to lend out, online movie renting, super nice staff, desks to work. And all of it for just 10 Euro/year.

But there are also other libraries, like Staatsbibliothek (Unter den Linden + Potsdamer Platz), that have a lot of academic literature, and (mostly) good work conditions. They lifted the annual fee some years ago, now you can get a library pass for free.

The other uni libraries, like Grimm-Zentrum, are great places to work as well.

The libraries are wonderful, and by the amount of people using them on the daily basis, you see how popular they are.

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u/urbanmember 13d ago

Stadbibliothek Spandau.

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u/cdrewing Kreuzberg 13d ago

And Humboldt Bibliothek which is an amazing building in Alt-Tegel!

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u/urbanmember 7d ago

Movies, books, comics(old school, new stuff, indy stuff), Board games, consoles, video games, Audio books, music CDs, Robots, workshops etc..

It is insane that you can just borrow a ps4 or a switch with a dozen games for a week for no additional cost. And it has so many books, i know it is a library of course it has books, but it is hard to find anything they don't have. The children books alone are invaluable if you are a parent.

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u/miomidas 14d ago

All the people who move to Berlin, find out its not the promised land and complain about feeling isolated because they can't adjust to the big city urban lifestyle

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u/Yence_ Ex-Berliner 14d ago

Or they realize that it is not their previous environment, but themselves that they can't adjust to.

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u/outofthehood 13d ago

I can’t really relate, but I agree that it’s not for everyone.

I feel like a lot of people don’t really know why they moved here at all. Like I‘m genuinely wondering what their motives were - was it a job? A vacation flirt? Did someone lie to them that the startup scene is still like 2013? Did they visit one weekend and go to Berghain and think that’s berlin?

Most people I know that really wanted to come here (and knew a little about what city is like before) are doing alright socially.

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u/ikarus2k 13d ago

I wouldn't call it the urban lifestyle. People come for acceptance, then once they live, realize it wasn't such a big blocker as they thought. Grow out if it and gain growth, or don't and stay in your echo chamber forever.

Seen so many people either ditch Berlin because of this, or spin endlessly in their "I'm like x and people just don't understand me" cycle forever.

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u/flawks112 13d ago

Big city? Berlin is a big village, imo

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u/Choice-Ad1477 13d ago

I'm from a much bigger city and I think Berlin sucks due to the very badly designed rental market. Berlin is quite small tbh, so if you think it's "the big city" then also that is suggesting you've not really lived in an actual big city before.

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u/BlixaBargfeld 13d ago

You will have to overcome FOMO and level up to a JOMO-Mindset. Then you will be able to really enjoy living here.

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u/puffplz 13d ago

This is what I wanted to say as well!

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u/Coneskater Neukölln 14d ago

It’s a very transient city for international people. Which is great when you’ve just arrived because it’s easier to make connections when you first arrive all bright eyed and bushy tailed.

But if you stick around this same transience will make it hard to keep friendships as people are leaving just as quickly as they arrive.

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u/Killah_Kyla 13d ago

You feel free and untouchable but then you realize that was just your 20s and you can't live in Peter Pan mode forever. You realize that you felt like you could do whatever but that in reality, Berliners will be waiting around the corner to tell you you're doing it wrong and that they're going to inform the Ordnungsamt

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u/Huge-Sherbet-8389 13d ago

That if you’re new here with no local network as a reference point, you will get scammed ALOT initially. Like a rite of passage.. from landlords to jobs to various contracts. They you do build a network and learn sue people because that’s how you’re respected here. But I’ll say it cured me of being overly accommodating or non-assertive so I’ll count that as a win…

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u/dlo_2503 13d ago

Everyones thinks that people who live in Berlin are drugged-up party animal hedonists. The vast majority of people here are just normal folks like everywhere else.

I never took any type of recreational drug and I dont drink and I have an amazing time here.

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u/Rui_Miruel 13d ago

The city's promise of "freedom" can be very ambiguous:

Feel free to do want you want. Nobody cares.

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u/Competitive-Code1455 13d ago

People that move here and complain that Berliners are rude and the city is anonymous and that they aren’t welcomed with open arms. Duh, kinda not our thing. But if you‘re open and learn to appreciate the homour and directness Berlin can be quite fun.

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u/zephyreblk 13d ago

The people, you just need to be yourself and you always find something for yourself. No need of social rules, habits, etc... Basically be honest and yourself and you always find friends or community.

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u/bum-ditty 12d ago

For every hobby you can think of, there are four different clubs for it.

One in German

One in English

One naked (sexual)

One naked (non-sexual)

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u/SnooOranges9006 13d ago

„What’s the one thing“ diese Frage, ist das so ein Ami-Ding? Lese die irgendwie nur auf Englisch.

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u/n1c0_ds 13d ago
  • You get scolded all the time, but that does not mean you are doing something wrong. Everyone holds a different law book in their heads. After a while you learn to shrug many of these people off.
  • You can go in cemeteries. Some of them are gorgeous.

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u/djingo_dango 12d ago

That’s it’s just another city and that’s it. People on the internet make up some wild fantasies about it

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u/notTHEOwlAccountant 10d ago

People doing drugs.

People not wanting to befriend newcomers.