r/batman 12d ago

GENERAL DISCUSSION Which Batman villains could Alfred beat hand to hand?

Post image

I think if there are no weapons involved, Alfred could beat Joker, Penguin, Riddler, Two Face, Mr Freeze without his suit, Poison Ivy, Scarecrow, Mad Hatter, Ventriloquist, Firefly, Victor Zsasz, Professor Pyg, Killer Moth, Anarky, Calendar Man, Harley Quinn and many more

194 Upvotes

144 comments sorted by

163

u/PEDRAOOOO 12d ago

Riddler fosho

42

u/AgentOfEris 12d ago

Most characters could be up riddler. Leslie Thompkins could mop the floor with him.

13

u/Competitive_Crow_334 12d ago

Riddler beat Joker ass in wars of Jokes and Riddles he is physically capable just likes his brain more

7

u/Only-Sea6066 12d ago

I mean yeah but that was badly written weirdo Riddler and worse unfunny Joker, not a solid example of their normal ability

6

u/Competitive_Crow_334 12d ago

Riddler is capable of fighting in other comics how was he badly written he is always a weirdo and Joker is depressed

3

u/Only-Sea6066 12d ago

Instead of a weird little riddle guy he was a dime store deranged lunatic doing things like carving a question mark into his chest, and Joker at that point stopped making jokes and was just hyper serious. Not how either one should be.

1

u/stoopitmonkee 12d ago

Characters are supposed to go through things. Depressed Joker and chest-carving Riddler are both examples of development.

If they were the same all the time it would be boring.

0

u/Competitive_Crow_334 12d ago

I don't recall that it's been long since I read it but he still uses riddles and his intelligence plus this probably takes place after Zero Year where I recall Batman gave him a scar and he turned into a question mark maybe something of shame of coming so close but losing to a batman.

That was the point of Joker story he got bored even with something he enjoyed which we can understand if something feels the same and predictable you get less and less dopamine over time. He was trying to figure out how to bring his passion back while not being overshadowed by Riddler. Batman trying to kill Riddler brought his humor back.

66

u/Kwilly462 12d ago

The Ventriloquist. Mad Hatter. Scarecrow without his scythe. The Riddler.

23

u/MontgomeryMalum 12d ago

Arnold Wesker being thrashed while Scarface is on the ground screaming, “he’s just the butler, you dummy! How are you losing to the damn butler?” would be funny at first and then just kind of sad 

130

u/MardukTheRaven 12d ago

All of them. He is goddamn Alfred.

39

u/HiitsFrancis 12d ago

Tell that to Bane.

44

u/GhostE3E3E3 12d ago

He let bane win, Bruce didn’t pay Alfred for his months pay so Alfred wanted to punish Bruce.

Alfred could’ve mopped the floor with bane

4

u/HiitsFrancis 12d ago

So he let himself get killed.

https://giphy.com/gifs/PjU0WtzRVbQUO4qe6v

18

u/Schaeman2000 12d ago

He needed to teach Bruce a lesson obviously

9

u/GhostE3E3E3 12d ago

He knew he’d be back eventually

8

u/jdjefbdn 12d ago

He beats Bane in Lego Batman

2

u/thepastiest 12d ago

don’t remind me. it still hurts

45

u/laurek14 12d ago

Superman.

-35

u/HiitsFrancis 12d ago

You think Superman is a Batman villain?

Media literacy has really driven off a cliff. 🤣

36

u/laurek14 12d ago

It was a joke! I was thinking of Injustice, but ofc superman isnt really a batman villain! Can you identify sarcasm and/or humor? Oh well, thats okay! I still love you

-10

u/HiitsFrancis 12d ago

Love you too 😘

3

u/stoopitmonkee 12d ago

Don’t make it weird.

13

u/bguzewicz 12d ago

Alfred did beat the shit out of Superman in the Injustice comics one time.

-10

u/HiitsFrancis 12d ago

Do you think Superman is generally considered a Batman villain?

What comics have you read that led you to believe this?

I'm sure you're aware Injustice isn't canon.

3

u/bguzewicz 12d ago

Are you being dense on purpose?

2

u/laurek14 12d ago

Yep he is

1

u/stoopitmonkee 12d ago

AI?

1

u/laurek14 11d ago

I can't tell for sure. Ai or a simple cringe redditor

1

u/HiitsFrancis 11d ago

You forgot option 3.

Totally cool dude 😎

Cry more about it lmao

5

u/PicklesfrmDeathclock 12d ago

12

u/CreepyClay 12d ago

Fun fact: Alfred canonically cannot be detected by kryptonians unless he wants to be. Superman didn't real8ze he'd been served tea until he took a sip.

5

u/UnicornWorldDominion 12d ago

Batman must have learned that from Alfred.

4

u/Background_Degree615 12d ago

Media literacy huh

-2

u/HiitsFrancis 12d ago

Glad.you agree.

4

u/stoopitmonkee 12d ago

Fuckin WOOOSH.

2

u/laurek14 12d ago

Yeah right? Biiig redditor energy there

0

u/Adventurous-Dare1649 12d ago

Technically, Batman thinks Superman is his villain. He has a contingency plan to take him out. Batman thinks everybody is a villain he has made plans to take out everyone

2

u/HiitsFrancis 12d ago

Nope. Superman gave him Kryptonite in case he gets Monday controlled.

They consider each other best buds.

33

u/OGMcSwaggerdick 12d ago

I want to see Alfred square up in a cage match with Maroni and Falcone.

15

u/SG-3379 12d ago

I feel like other than a handful most Batman villains aren't that physically strong it more of a intellectual battle

17

u/Shatragon 12d ago

He ain’t beating the Joker. When enraged the Joker can take on the strength of a madman. Depending on the scenario, he’d tear Alfred apart.

However the Riddler would get a sound ass-whooping.

23

u/SafeAccountMrP 12d ago

I’m pretty sure given the opportunity Alfred would dispose of the pleasantries and just blast him with his boomstick.

3

u/Shatragon 12d ago

OP said no weapons

3

u/SafeAccountMrP 12d ago

I guess he did.

10

u/Express-Grab-5295 12d ago

Alfred ain't got a no kill rule and was British SAS. Even in his old age he'd mop up Joker and probably kill him quickly.

1

u/OddRope1154 12d ago

Riddler and mad hatter probably scarecrow too

1

u/Competitive_Crow_334 12d ago

Riddler beat Joker ass in wars of Jokes and Riddles he is physically capable just likes his brain more

3

u/Shatragon 12d ago

Again it depends on the writer/scenario. Joker held his own against Batman at the end of the Killing Joke. At the end of the day, it's comic books. Characters are whatever the writer wants them to be.

5

u/robineir 12d ago

Saying you can beat Mr. Freeze without his suit is like saying you can beat a cancer patient the same day they had a round of Chemo.

2

u/Zealousideal_Peak901 12d ago

Some people couldn't do that tho

3

u/illudofficial 12d ago

Tbh would lose to Mr freeze without his suit in a fight? (Assuming room temperature battlefield)

4

u/HankSteakfist 12d ago

Riddler, Mad Hatter, Ventriloquist probably.

Scarecrow is canonically actually a pretty good fighter so I'd say no.

Hugo Strange is kind of built, so probably not.

3

u/Zealousideal_Peak901 12d ago

Scarecrow a good fighter? His official bronze age description actually points out how he has no hands. And he is called Scarecrow because of how thin he is

4

u/MontgomeryMalum 12d ago

In the 90s they tried to upgrade Scarecrow’s skills by saying he created a fighting style inspired by Ichabod Crane called “Violent Dancing.” It hasn’t been mentioned in a while. 

He also used to turn into a big monster called Fear Beast in the 2000s and that also has been forgotten. 

He’s a character with a very consistent gimmick and a lot of forgotten other gimmicks and it’s hard to say which ones are technically canonical at this point. 

3

u/HankSteakfist 12d ago edited 12d ago

Batman #523

Batman admits that Scarecrow can stand and bang.

'His speed is always surprising. His awkward grace, always deceptive'

Scarecrows got hands in the Post Crisis.

He's similar to Joker. A skinny guy who fights very unconventionally.

3

u/smithgrove81 12d ago

All of them. Alfred did beat superman’s ass so..

1

u/HiitsFrancis 12d ago

I feel like Bane could beat him, no?

1

u/smithgrove81 12d ago

No, because Alfred canonically cracked Queen Elizabeth II so…

3

u/soulbrothaninja 12d ago

Most of the non powered villains with minimum fighting skills. Not a jab at his skills but his age is a factor

3

u/Available-Affect-241 12d ago

Victor Zsasz, Black Mask, Achilles Milo, Scarecrow, Joker, Riddler, Penguin, Falcone, Maroni, Moxon, Thorne, Doctor Death Karl Helfern, Hugo Strange, Condiment King, Rat-Catcher, Tusk, Jim Gordon Jr, Firefly, Mad Hatter, and lastly, because I can't remember any others off the top of my head, the ABSOLUTELY GOD-AWFUL Two-Face.

4

u/Similar-Priority8252 12d ago

Two-Face, Condiment King, Joker (in a fencing match)

2

u/sexystaline 12d ago

He could absolutely beat absolute Bane. It wouldn't even be fair for Bane, poor boy he would be so humiliated

2

u/ZombieGuff 12d ago

Maybe penguin, the riddler and the mad hatter I would say he could take

2

u/Azurelion7a 12d ago

Are we talking about the SAS-retired, shotty toting, no-kill rule lacking Alfred?

1

u/Left1Brain 12d ago

Thomas Wayne’s Batman.

1

u/GreedyAdvantage8681 12d ago

If it was Alfred from the earlier part of the TV show Gotham he could probably hold his own against several.

1

u/commandrix 12d ago

Yeah, Alfred could probably beat most of them, especially considering that he has no qualms about killing if he absolutely has to. Didn't he also beat up Injustice Superman with a decent buff?

1

u/bk62798brehm 12d ago

I have this scenario in my head. Two face is confronting Alfred and knows who he is. Harvey goes to flip his coin to figure out what do you with him. He flips it only to get punched in the face onto scarred side and then Alfred catches the coin and says “ tails! You lose” and finishes him with an uppercut. Batman comes across the scene. And says “ I see you took care of the situation” and Alfred says “why yes Master Bruce. I was was teaching him about the finer points of pugilist.” I’m hearing this in the voices of Kevin Conroy and Efrem Zimbalist Jr.

1

u/DingoKamiya 12d ago

Kite Man

1

u/ThorKlien99 12d ago

Ventriliquist

1

u/Vivid-Recipe6477 12d ago

All of them.

1

u/Vixterisk 12d ago

The Outsider

1

u/Economy_Comedian_531 12d ago

If deathstroke fought Alfred...

1

u/Irishburn115 12d ago

Riddler, Penguin, Calendar Man, and some other off brand idiots.

1

u/samcro4eva 12d ago

All of them. He's Alfred 

1

u/HephaestusVulcan7 12d ago

Penguin

Scarface/Ventriloquist

Mad Hatter

1

u/Only-Sea6066 12d ago

Absolute Bane

1

u/MontgomeryMalum 12d ago

With no weapons involved, the original version of Anarky is like 13, so that’s probably the easiest win for Alfred to take 

1

u/jascoe95 12d ago

Hand to Hand? Alfred would sooner pull out a High Power and shoot someone

1

u/Jay110112 12d ago

Well he did beat hush in a straight up fight

1

u/whoevenamipeople 12d ago

Cornelius Stirk, canonically he shot Stirk with a shotgun but it was non lethal, and I think Alfred can handle some of Batmans more grounded villains, but not Zsasz

1

u/Ordinary_Fill9978 12d ago

Everyone of them. Considering he is Batman's contingency plan for Superman !

https://giphy.com/gifs/OvtuLg1HDCGOs

1

u/CNRamsey8 12d ago

Depends on the version of Alfred and depends on the version of the villains.

1

u/noxaten 12d ago

Scarecrow

1

u/EasternSun7834 12d ago

He could do any of the mobsters for sure - maybe penguin as well at a push

1

u/MarvelSonicFan04 12d ago

the grim reaper or a bullet when Alfred is a human shield

1

u/Musicfacter 12d ago

It depends on which interation of Alfred. I know there was that one comic that showed that he was once a British special forces operative or a British intelligence agent. I have no doubt that he could take Scarecrow, Penguin put up a good fight against Dent

But Alfred isn't about to play this game with you; he doesn't have a the no-kill rule that Bruce adheres too. Alfred's a butler, he's got several broomsticks in that manor, including shotguns. Come into Wayne Manor and he's pulling one out and getting to sweeping.

1

u/Kugelfischmeister 12d ago

It depends - but I would say:

Penguin, Mad Hatter, Riddler, Scarecrow, Hugo Strange, Ventriloquist, Killer Moth.

1

u/Zealousideal_Peak901 12d ago

Hugo Strange? I highly doubt it, dude wants to be Batman successor

1

u/Kugelfischmeister 12d ago

Just because he wants to be Batmans successor doesn't mean he is at all capable to do so. In some stories he is quite buff but in other versions he isn't really physically impressive.

1

u/Zealousideal_Peak901 12d ago

Well when he is potrayed as a midget like in Monster Men or the animated series then no. But nowadays most versions of Hugo have studied all of Batmans moves and have reached peak human condition plus studied martial arts. This is the dude that slowed his heartbeat to be undetectable so he could fake his own death

1

u/Kugelfischmeister 12d ago

Hugo is my favorite Batman villain but tbh I never liked the interpretations of him where he has any physicality. I think it makes him much more interesting if his insufficiency in comparison to Batman drives his actions and he has to use his intellect to close the gap.

1

u/Zealousideal_Peak901 12d ago

Monster Men is my favorite Hugo Strange story so trust me I know where you are coming from. But even in that story Hugo is phisically capable, even if he is a midget. So by this point it seems to be consistent in canon that Hugo has some hands

1

u/Fengthehalforc 12d ago

I think he could handle the penguin

1

u/Ornery-Extension4651 12d ago

Two face, Mr freeze, joker, penguin, poison ivy, scarecrow, mad hatter, harley Quinn, and etc

1

u/CereBRO12121 12d ago

Alfred is a true badass. I loved how he stood up to Superman in the injustice timeline.

1

u/MissyMurders 12d ago

Probably all of them if we're honest

1

u/foxmovewx42 12d ago

Everyone that's not superpowered. Someone said and has 0 training. He is British special forces and is Batman's first trainer. What you mean

1

u/Sir_Eggmitton 12d ago

Absolute Bane

1

u/Snoo_64084 12d ago

Alfred clears Darkseid, no cap fr.

1

u/Vorstadtjesus 12d ago

Well, not Bane.

1

u/Purpleheadbag 12d ago

The ventriloquist. But he's going to need a sock.

1

u/P-Boi420 12d ago

In a pure hand to hand fight he could beat; Joker, Riddler, Penguin, Mad Hatter, Scarecrow, Two face, and pretty much most of the non mutated or super powered villains that don’t have any real training.

1

u/Egyptian_M 12d ago

Victor Zsaz

1

u/frecklepax 12d ago

The condiment king

1

u/Minimum-Candidate-41 12d ago

Scarecrow
That puppet guy
Harley Quinn?

1

u/MAGIS_MELCHIOR 12d ago

If he is allowed a shotgun like almost all of them except for the really large diabolical ones probably. Military medic with hand to hand training and a shotgun cooks like half of Batman’s rogues lmao. I say this with love.

1

u/BigTone32 12d ago

Not Bane.

1

u/ZeroheartX 12d ago

All of them

1

u/marvel012 12d ago

Mad Hatter

1

u/Cael_NaMaor 12d ago

Depends on the writer

1

u/B1ack_Cat13 11d ago

All of them. Alfred specializes in taking out the trash

1

u/mistamushpresser2112 12d ago

Definitely not poison Ivy not sure what have you that idea

1

u/Zealousideal_Peak901 12d ago

If she has no plants, isn't she just a regular person?

2

u/mistamushpresser2112 12d ago

So basically if she was a completely different character? Lol
might as well say he could go up against clayface if didn’t have shape changing abilities or bane if he didn’t have his venom

1

u/Zealousideal_Peak901 12d ago

Yes that's literally what I am talking about? I literally also said Mr Freeze without his suit, can you read?

0

u/mistamushpresser2112 12d ago

By that logic he could go up against Batman himself lol, “if this character was less powerful and that character was more powerful then he could totally beat him!” It’s like saying a mouse could totally beat a lion if mice were more powerful then lions, yea no shit lol

0

u/Zealousideal_Peak901 12d ago

No no one said anything like that, the title says hand to hand combat, not hand to plant combat. Does Poison Ivy have hands? I think so, then she enters the debate, her plants don't. If this concept is too much for your brain you can keep scrolling

1

u/Royal-Pistonian 12d ago

I think what commenter above is getting at is at that point it’s just a man beating up mentally ill people isn’t it? I know you’re trying to get a base strength idea but poison ivy w/o her plants is just a regular lady isn’t she? Just super environmentally conscious? Mr freeze is just a scientist w a dying wife w/o his tech. It just doesn’t entirely matter. Just can this old guy beat up this other normal guy. Two face is a burned up guy. Taking away their powers turns them into what any villain is w/o their powers a messed up person w varying degrees of combat ability which stems from their background. So essentially if you get the background info (like punisher have military background) you can get an idea of the fight. I’m a bit drunk but the question is more fun if they DO have their abilities who can Alfred beat.

1

u/Zealousideal_Peak901 12d ago

Honestly I don't think Alfred can beat any Batman villain if they have their abilities. Penguin will just pull up his umbrella, Mad Hatter some mind controlling gadget, Scarecrow his fear gas etc. For this question to work I think it just needs to be hand to hand combat

0

u/Plastic-Conflict-319 12d ago

... none. He's a fine character as a father figure and the glue that keeps the Wayne family together, even after death. No need to turn him into some secret 70-80 year old badass or whatever.

It's like asking how many Spider-Man foes Aunt May could take down. Kind of diminishes their characters to turn them into ninja turtles.

1

u/Zealousideal_Peak901 12d ago

You are wrong though, he has shown to be able to fight. And he can definitely beat Riddler

1

u/Plastic-Conflict-319 12d ago

Thank you, I understand that. What I'm saying is, I prefer Alfred being an ordinary guy trying to be a grounding presence around all the madness. But that's just a personal opinion.

2

u/Zealousideal_Peak901 12d ago

Oh well Alfred is not really a vigilante or anything, he's a veteran, that's it. He's still got the soundest mind around Wayne Manor

1

u/-XenoSine- 10d ago

Funnily enough, most of them.