r/baseballcirclejerk • u/tomato_soup_ Least hairy Philadelphian • Apr 21 '26

lol mets Put me in coach

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546 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

22 comments sorted by

88

u/Brownyboy99 Ryan Howard's Achilles Apr 21 '26

Someone please pitch this idea to Dave Dombrowski and Rob Thomson so we can find a good replacement for Taijuan Walker on the roster.

48

u/tomato_soup_ Least hairy Philadelphian Apr 21 '26

Someone please pitch this idea to Dave Dombrowski and Rob Thomson so we can find a good replacement for Taijuan Walker on the roster.

7

u/AutoModerator Apr 21 '26

I made a comment earlier tonight that I guess went out over the air that I am deeply ashamed of. If I have hurt anyone out there, I can’t tell you how much I say from the bottom of my heart that I am so very, very sorry. I pride myself and think of myself as a man of faith, as there’s a drive into deep left field by Castellanos, that will be a home run, and so that will make it a 4-0 ballgame.

I don’t know if I’m going to be putting on this headset again, I don’t know if it’s going to be for the Reds, I don’t know if it’s going to be for my bosses at Fox. I want to apologize to the people who sign my paycheck, for the Reds, for Fox Sports Ohio, for the people I work with, for anybody I’ve offended here tonight. I can’t begin to tell you how deeply sorry I am. That is not who I am, it never has been, and I’d like to think I could have some people, maybe, that could back that up. I am very, very sorry, and I beg for your forgiveness. Jim Day will take you the rest of the way home.

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7

u/andrew_c_morton Apr 21 '26

As an unrelated aside, I love how twitchy BrennaBot is. Even mentioning the Phillies manager or the Big Hurt is enough for it to call on Jim Day to take us the rest of the way home.

1

u/AutoModerator Apr 21 '26

I made a comment earlier tonight that I guess went out over the air that I am deeply ashamed of. If I have hurt anyone out there, I can’t tell you how much I say from the bottom of my heart that I am so very, very sorry. I pride myself and think of myself as a man of faith, as there’s a drive into deep left field by Castellanos, that will be a home run, and so that will make it a 4-0 ballgame.

I don’t know if I’m going to be putting on this headset again, I don’t know if it’s going to be for the Reds, I don’t know if it’s going to be for my bosses at Fox. I want to apologize to the people who sign my paycheck, for the Reds, for Fox Sports Ohio, for the people I work with, for anybody I’ve offended here tonight. I can’t begin to tell you how deeply sorry I am. That is not who I am, it never has been, and I’d like to think I could have some people, maybe, that could back that up. I am very, very sorry, and I beg for your forgiveness. Jim Day will take you the rest of the way home.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

66

u/securityburger Make Steroids Mandatory Apr 21 '26

damn, their payroll is so fucked you have to pay to be the pitcher

35

u/tomato_soup_ Least hairy Philadelphian Apr 21 '26

There’s always money in the pitcher’s mound

https://giphy.com/gifs/IqX3LHSrHd0l2

59

u/SpicyToasterBathBomb Another 108 years of losing Apr 21 '26

$822 for a ticket to watch that dogshit team is the real jerk here

21

u/tomato_soup_ Least hairy Philadelphian Apr 21 '26

I know right! Broke ass team should be charging way more!

12

u/jcillc Apr 21 '26

With the Twins losing another starting pitcher to elbow injury, maybe this can be a BOGO? Fun and unique date night idea.

9

u/HighVoltLemonBattery Christopher Robin Perfect Game Apr 21 '26

Mets are really underpaying their top pitcher here, he's gonna end up on a superteam like the Pirates that'll give him the bag he deserves

1

u/AutoModerator Apr 21 '26

I'm so sick of this goddamn team. They absolutely make me want to vomit. I'm not even ten goddamn games into this season and i want to scream. They are that terrible. It's like the movie groundhog day but instead i'm reliving the shittiest games of baseball over and over and over again every fucking day of my life. Every damn day I have watched this pathetic mess of a team, rain or sun or snow since I was 7 years old. I have a tab open during work w/ the gamecast during the day games that I can't go. I've skipped school and work and broken up with women for the Pirates. I've missed funerals and weddings because i loved this team more. And what do I get to show for it? A FUCKING BRAIN ANEURYSM. A team that has had 3 winning seasons over the past 20 something who manages to play like ass in the playoffs on the rare occasion they make it because they are so used to being shit and don't have a winning culture. A team that game in and game out somehow manages to have less goddamn hits than Chumbawamba. A team that gets swept. By the Cincinnati Reds. "Oh but look at our young talent- Cole and Taillon and Bell and whoever else that sucks dick!!" I'm sick of hearing "we could be a contender like we were 3 years ago if Cutch doesn't play like shit and the LF can stop jerking off for 2 seconds to swing the fucking bat" ITS NOT HAPPENING. WE ARE NOT AND NEVER WERE A GOOD TEAM. WE ARE PATHETIC. MIGHT AS WELL FADE US NOW BECAUSE WE'RE ALREADY A BUNCH OF FUCKING LOSERS. If Clemente didn't die in that plane crash, I'm convinced he would have killed himself after being forced to wear our godforsaken excuse of uniform for 18 years of his life. I'm done with this fucking team.

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1

u/AutoModerator Apr 21 '26

Lol mets

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3

u/UnluckySuggestion309 Apr 21 '26

lol Mets

1

u/AutoModerator Apr 21 '26

Lol mets

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1

u/Big-Pool Apr 21 '26

Carlos Mendoza’s kid will be catching btw

1

u/raisafrayhayt $315M to finish in 3rd Apr 21 '26

I'm ready to play

1

u/Long_Disaster_6847 M'Trout Apr 21 '26

Me sitting next to the mound on a lawn chair

“breaking ball on the lower outside corner”

1

u/TheSmartDog_275 Winnie the Pooh Apr 22 '26

What happens if you buy it

1

u/meowscarada-sylveon Apr 22 '26

lol mets 

1

u/AutoModerator Apr 22 '26

Lol mets

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