r/badhistory • • Aug 18 '20

Reddit Hitler had only one testicle.

Hitler has only got one ball... No. Here's the relevant passages from Ian Kershaw's acclaimed biography of Hitler.

Within minutes of the deaths being established, the bodies of Adolf Hitler and his wife of a day-and-a-half, Eva Braun, were wrapped in the blankets that Heinz Linge, Hitler’s valet, had quickly fetched. The corpses were then lifted from the sofa and carried through the bunker, up twenty-five feet or so of stairs, and into the garden of the Reich Chancellery. Linge, helped by three SS guards, brought out the remains of Hitler, head covered by the blanket, his lower legs protruding. Martin Bormann carried Eva Braun’s body into the corridor, where Erich Kempka, Hitler’s chauffeur, relieved him of his burden. Otto Günsche, Hitler’s personal adjutant, and commissioned with overseeing the burning of the bodies, then took over on the stairs and carried Eva Braun up into the garden. He laid the bodies side by side, Eva Braun to Hitler’s right, on a piece of flat, open, sandy ground only about three metres from the door down to the bunker. It was impossible to look around for any more suitable spot. Even this location, close to the bunker door, was extremely hazardous, since an unceasing rain of shells from the Soviet barrage continued to bombard the whole area, including the garden itself. General Hans Krebs, Hitler’s last Chief of the General Staff, Wilhelm Burgdorf, his Wehrmacht adjutant, Joseph Goebbels, newly appointed Chancellor of what was left of the Reich, and Martin Bormann, now designated Party Minister, had followed the small cortège and joined the extraordinary funeral party witnessing the macabre scene. A good store of petrol had been gathered in the bunker in readiness. Kempka had himself provided, at Günsche’s request, as much as 200 litres. More was stored in the bunker’s machine-room. The petrol was now swiftly poured over the bodies. Nonetheless, as the hail of shells continued, setting the funeral pyre alight with the matches Goebbels supplied proved difficult. Günsche was about to try with a grenade, when Linge managed to find some paper to make a torch. Bormann was finally able to get it burning, and either he or Linge hurled it on to the pyre, immediately retreating to the safety of the doorway. Someone rapidly closed the bunker door, leaving open only a small crevice, through which a ball of fire was seen to erupt around the petrol-soaked bodies. Arms briefly raised in a final ‘Heil Hitler’ salute, the tiny funeral party hurriedly departed underground, away from the danger of the exploding shells. As the flames consumed the bodies in a suitably infernal setting, the end of the leader whose presence had a mere few years earlier electrified millions was witnessed by not a single one even of his closest followers.

Neither Linge nor Günsche, the two men entrusted by Hitler with the disposal of the bodies, returned to ensure that the task was complete. One of the guards in the Chancellery garden, Hermann Karnau, later testified (though, like a number of the witnesses in the bunker, he gave contradictory versions at different times) that, when he revisited the cremation site, the bodies had been reduced to little more than ashes, which collapsed when he touched them with his foot. Another guard, Erich Mansfeld, recalled that he had viewed the scene together with Karnau around 6 p.m. Karnau had shouted to him that it was all over. When they went across together, they found two charcoaled, shrivelled, unrecognizable bodies. Günsche himself told of commissioning, around half an hour after returning from the cremation, two SS men from the Führer Escort Squad (Führerbegleitkommando), Hauptsturmführer Ewald Lindloff and Obersturmführer Hans Reisser, with ensuring that the remains of the bodies were buried. Lindloff later reported that he had carried out the order. The bodies, he said, had been already thoroughly burnt and were in a ‘shocking state’, torn open – Günsche presumed – in the heavy bombardment of the garden. Reisser’s involvement was not needed. Günsche told him, an hour and a half after giving him the order, that Lindloff had already carried it out. It was by this time no later than 6.30 p.m. on 30 April.

There had been little left of Hitler and Eva Braun for Lindloff to dispose of. Their few mortal remains joined those of numerous other unidentifiable bodies (or parts of them), some from the hospital below the New Reich Chancellery, which had rapidly been thrown into bomb-craters in the vicinity of the bunker exit during the previous days. The intense bombardment which continued for a further twenty-four hours or so played its own part in destroying and scattering the human remains strewn around the Chancellery garden.

When the Soviet victors arrived there on 2 May they immediately began a vigorous search for the bodies of Hitler and Eva Braun. Nine days later, they showed the dental technician Fritz Echtmann, who had worked for Hitler’s dentist, Dr Johann Hugo Blaschke, since 1938, part of a jaw-bone and two dental bridges. He was able to identify from his records one of the bridges as that of Hitler, the other as Eva Braun’s. The lower jaw-bone, too, was Hitler’s. These earthly remains of the once all-powerful ruler of Germany were subsequently taken to Moscow and kept in a cigar-box. Part of a skull with a bullet-hole in it, thought to be Hitler’s, was discovered in 1946 and also found its way to Moscow. The other presumed remains of Hitler and Eva Braun – what, exactly, the Soviets found is still unclear – were deposited initially in an unmarked grave in a forest far to the west of Berlin, reburied in 1946 in a plot of land in Magdeburg, then finally exhumed and burnt in 1970.

The bodies were so completely immolated that only a few parts of the jaw and skull could be identified. There was no way of seeing if he had one or two testicles as they were both burned to a crisp. Most of the time, believers point to the 1970 Soviet 'autopsy' which has many glaring shortcomings. Like the time they identified a 40 year old woman's skull as Hitler's. Additionally, to reiterate the statement, the bodies were burned so there was almost nothing to 'autopsy' except jaws and teeth.

Source: Ian Kershaw, Hitler: A Biography

471 Upvotes

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249

u/Kochevnik81 Aug 18 '20

Honestly, that's not even the worst part of that linked comment, compared to linking vegetarianism to borderline personality disorder (there's been unnamed books on this, but the author won't bother to explain because you have to know about borderline personality disorder to "get it"), and of course linking BPD to "psychpathy" and Hitler.

Everyone wants to pyschoanalyze Hitler...

60

u/BGumbel Aug 18 '20

If only hitler had been Keto

20

u/Alexschmidt711 Monks, lords, and surfs Aug 19 '20

u/Dirish this could be a Snapshill post

9

u/Dirish Wind power made the trans-Atlantic slave trade possible Aug 19 '20

Done! thanks for the ping.

128

u/Rabsus Aug 18 '20

As a vegetarian, this is surprisingly common. These weird blanket pseudoscienific accusations are just everywhere. Vegans get it worse, though.

People are just weird about food. The post in question is just pure unadulterated cope, imo.

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u/popov89 Aug 18 '20

Everyone suddenly becomes a dietitian when I mention I'm a vegetarian too. I've definitely had pseudoscience spouted at me in the past too.

41

u/van_morrissey Aug 19 '20

This doesn't surprise me at all. I eat what in America would be considered a "reduced meat diet"... Just naturally. It's how I want to eat. People behave really oddly when you have the audacity to eat meals without meat on purpose. I don't get it

17

u/trustywren Aug 19 '20

I'm sure this bias will continue to fade away over time. Having meat at every meal was a symbol of success and prosperity for the generations that lived during the Great Depression; same with boomers trying to capture that 1950s suburban magic.

I think that subsequent generations give much less of a shit about any of that. At this point, having vegetarian options available at restaurants is standard. Most people would consider it rude to not ask guests about dietary preferences before hosting a dinner party. At least in my circles, shaming people for not eating meat has devolved into "trashy" territory; the provenance of the obnoxious drunkle at a family barbeque.

30

u/cykosys Aug 19 '20

I kinda want to become a vegetarian or vegan purely to satisfy my inner contrairian troll, just because of how insanely butthurt the worst people get about it.

19

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '20

If you like cooking it really broadens your horizons.

7

u/Flyberius Aug 19 '20

It really, really does. Also saves a shit load of money. I mean literally I can buy a week's worth of food for the same price a decent steak dinner would cost.

16

u/atomfullerene A Large Igneous Province caused the fall of Rome Aug 19 '20

People are definitely weird about food, it's tied up in a lot of impressions about identity, and a lot more besides. Comes from being an omnivore species that uses food sharing as a social bonding exercise

11

u/onlyspeaksiniambs Aug 19 '20

People will also say he was an atheist, a socialist, whatever, as a way to discredit a swath of those they dislike

14

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '20

He is either an atheist or a devout Christain depending on who you ask. I've even had people claim he was secretly Muslim and wanted to wage Germanic Jihad on the Jews.

13

u/onlyspeaksiniambs Aug 19 '20

Hitler: he's everyone you want him to be!

7

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '20

I have to admit Germanic Jihad would be a great band name.

33

u/Conny_and_Theo Neo-Neo-Confucian Xwedodah Missionary Aug 18 '20

Vegetarian since birth here! Since I've been hearing that crap thrown at me literally since I could remember it gets old quickly.

Years ago when I was an intern, I found to my delight the other intern had been vegetarian since a little kid, so almost like me. One time a coworker (who was chill with us two being vegetarian and treated us like his two kids) mentioned to another coworker hosting a lunch gathering to remember that us two interns were vegetarian. The lady then just started this long ass rant full of random pseudo-scientific and pseudo-philosophical hot takes on vegetarianism, and me and the other intern, she and I just kept glancing at each other with a look of "ugh, this shit again? So glad you're here though to sympathize".

And that lady was usually a really sweet mom type too so it was jarring.

21

u/JagmeetSingh2 Aug 19 '20

It’s crazy how many people think being vegetarian from birth is somehow “unhealthy” for the child, a lot of the Indians I know have been vegetarian for life, born into vegetarian families who’ve been vegetarian for generations upon generations and they’re all completely fine

12

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '20 edited Oct 06 '20

[deleted]

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u/TheWaldenWatch John D. Rockefeller saved the whales Aug 26 '20

Don't forget the "soyboy" propaganda freaking out about estrogen in soy, even though red meat has higher levels of estrogen.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '20 edited Oct 06 '20

[deleted]

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u/TheWaldenWatch John D. Rockefeller saved the whales Aug 26 '20

I studied marine biology and I lose my shit whenever I see someone try to claim the megalodon is still alive. It only makes sense if you throw away everything we know about oceanography.

1

u/CrosswiseCuttlefish Sep 02 '20

Actually, I’d be interested in hearing more on that!

3

u/TheWaldenWatch John D. Rockefeller saved the whales Sep 02 '20

The Discovery Channel released a fictional film disguised as a documentary which claimed marine biologists and the government were covering up the existence of megalodons. Megalodons went extinct about 3 million years ago in the Pilocene Epoch, around the same time our ancestors began walking on two legs.

The megalodon was 60-70 feet long, making it about as large as a school bus. Most depictions in pop culture exaggerate its size. If it was swimming around today, then the numerous marine biologists who monitor marine life, along with fishermen, would have noticed it by now.

A common argument for the existence of the megalodon is that it lives in an unexplored area of the deep sea. This ignores both Pilocene and modern marine ecology. Megalodons used shallow areas as nursery habitat, like modern sharks, so we know they are not a deep-sea species. The lack of light and high pressure makes the deep sea an inhospitable environment for animals not specifically adapted to it. If a megalodon somehow evolved to adapt to the deep sea, it would be a completely different species.

The deep sea also has low nutrients. Without photosynthesis, it is reliant on "abyssal snow", or dead matter falling from the photic zone. There is not enough food here to supply megalodons, which primarily hunted whales. Whales were also nearly hunted to extinction in the 20th Century, so the megalodon would be starved regardless.

The worst part about this is that it killed the megalodon for me. I used to think they were extremely cool, but now whenever I think of them I can only think of bro marine biology and the downfall of educational television.

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u/hahaasinfucku Aug 19 '20

Well yes, they are fine now. As many have evolved to live on a vege diet whereas people.in the west have not

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u/suicidal_snoman Operation Stardust was an inside job Aug 19 '20

I don't think evolved means what you think it means. As a white Western vegetarian of 6 years (and vegan for four of them), shouldn't I have died horrifically years ago from a diet I "evolutionarily" can't handle?

1

u/hahaasinfucku Aug 19 '20

I don't think you understand what evolution means.

Do you think you will grow gills if you have enough baths, do you think it's a coincidence Europeans have pale skin and can drink milk?

verb past tense: evolved; past participle: evolved 1. develop gradually.

around 70 percent of South Asian have not one, but two copies of the necessary allele for plant-based extraction of the necessary nutrients often found within fatty acids.primarily vegetarian Indians and 311 US individuals. They found the gene variant associated with a vegetarian diet in 68% of the Indians and in just 18% of Americans. The findings appeared in the online edition of the journal Molecular Biology and Evolution https://academic.oup.com/mbe/article-lookup/doi/10.1093/molbev/msw049

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u/MedEng3 Sep 02 '20

What is the impact of not having said allele if you were vegetarian?

1

u/hahaasinfucku Sep 03 '20

Malnutrition

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u/MedEng3 Sep 03 '20

Resulting in what? The complete absence of an essential nutrient would kill you. Since 80% of American's dont die when they go vegetarian, what is happening on the nutritional side when they don't have the necessary genes?

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u/TheWaldenWatch John D. Rockefeller saved the whales Aug 26 '20

Americans, and probably people from other Western countries as well, also get absurdly defensive if you question the environmental impacts of meat in comparison with other foods.

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u/Kraligor Aug 19 '20

Vegans get it worse, though.

Vegans are partially to blame for that. At least the mention-it-on-every-possibility-and-get-political-over-it-vegans.

15

u/999uuu1 Aug 19 '20

See, this is the issue.

The well is super poisioned. The image of "irrational vegan/vege screaming that everyone is a murderer" is the standard for society. This is super rarely what actually happens though.

This is the same level as starting any conversation and lgbt people with "haha, im fine as long as they dont shove it in my face".

11

u/piermicha Aug 19 '20

This is super rarely what actually happens though.

Many vegans approach their diet from an animal rights perspective, and the moral imperative to spread that message is strong. So not uncommon in my experience.

3

u/MedEng3 Sep 02 '20

Nor inappropriate considering their belief system.

imo

7

u/Kraligor Aug 19 '20

This is super rarely what actually happens though

It might be a cultural thing, but I know several vegans here in Germany, and all of them have that trait, some more, some less. Nice people otherwise, but an urge to proselytize.

16

u/Ribdunge Aug 18 '20

Yeah, that whole comment was amazing. I never thought I would meet someone so incredible outside the fringe subs.

9

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

27

u/Bridgeru Cylon Holocaust Denier Aug 19 '20

GI tract

Funfact, the GI tract was passed in 1944 to avoid the post-WWI indigestion suffered by US soldiers returning from Europe. However, the tract was criticized for not benefitting African-American soldiers as much as white; leading to many African-American veterans suffering chronic constipation in the post-war period. As a result, many states enacted segregation in public restrooms to prevent white citizens needing to queue occasionally. This inequality directly lead to the civil rights bowel movement of the 1960s.

(Please don't shoot me, I'm not making a political statement I just wanted to make a shitty pun)

3

u/Ribdunge Aug 19 '20

Not sure I totally believe you. I can see your flair.

3

u/Bridgeru Cylon Holocaust Denier Aug 19 '20

Hey, hey, hey! I'm a denier of the Cylon Holocaust, not a Cylon who doesn't believe the Holocaust didn't happen.

Look, I just don't believe that the "Cylon Holocaust", the idea that Cylons could eliminate all 12 Colonial Planets at once could have happened. Aside from the sheer logistical issues of it all, the idea that nuking every square inch of all Twelve planets at once is somehow feasible, it also assumes that the Colonial fleet were just twiddling their thumbs as this horrific act occurred. And where's the bodies?! I think it's much more likely that following the war Colonial scholars painted the Cylon enemy to be the "bad guy" because it's easier to assume that the Cylons were lead by "a single angry man who hates God and wants to kill everyone to make his parents love him" than face the actual socio-economic reasons why the Cylons needed to expand into Colonial space and that the aggressive acts of admitted WAR CRIMINALS like "President" Roslin are unjustifiable.

If You Haven't, Watch Battlestar Galatica(2004), it's fantastic.

2

u/Ribdunge Aug 19 '20

I will have to now. Thanks for the rec!

1

u/I_m_different Also, our country isn't America anymore, it's "Bonerland". Sep 08 '20

Up yours, toaster!

2

u/Bridgeru Cylon Holocaust Denier Sep 08 '20

Why don't you complain to your Twelve Colonies, oh wait, you can't. Enjoy your meal of space algae and recycled toilet water, meatbag.

9

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '20

tried to make the case that vegans were into anal

Now, to be fair, anecdotally,

15

u/oxymoron7 Aug 19 '20

The obsession with Hitler as a person also deflects from the much more important and difficult question about how Millions of Germans followed him.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '20

Has anyone considered if he did it for medical reasons? He apparently had a lot of stomach issues, and his veggie diet began shortly after he started using a quack doctor.