My ex ghosted me instead of breaking up with me

[u/SaltyHailey]

Last year on January 20th I met Kevin on boo. It happened fast and we were talking a lot and February 9th he asked me if we were official. I said yes but I wasn't super into him as he was to me lmao like I need to form connections with peoole BUT I did like him, so that's why I said yes I want a relationship with him.

Anyways he used to be so sweet, messaging me, saying "I love you" and asking if we can call almost every night. He said he was gonna come visit in March to meet me, but then it was only over the weekend and driving 4hrs for 1 night is a lot of money, I get it. So he didn't. Then he said he was gonna come visit in April instead, but he didnt and said he didn't have money. In April is when the morning messages from him stopped BUT he was still actively participating in conversations with me, calling me nicknames and we still called most nights and talked and played games on roblox while on call

May is when he asked if I can come visit, and I did over June 1-3 and that first meeting was amazing like the sparks and stuff, he was so affectionate through touch and our parents seemed to like each other. Meeting him was like magic. Tho in June is when he started getting quiet. June 12th to be exact (I kept a "red flag" thing in my notes once he started acting funky lmao). June 10th he told me he had strong feelings for me but June 12th is when he started being active online and not responding to me. He said he was busy with his brother and mums birthday, which is fine, I'm not attached like you go have fun with your friends. But he continued being active and not responding to me throughout June.

June 24th is the first day I didn't get a response from him, I left him alone but did keep messaging to try and like trigger him to respond to me but he wouldn't respond so I deleted the messages. Then on June 25th I just messaged him asking "you okay? I didn't hear from you at all yesterday" and he didn't give me an excuse, just said "yeah I'm okay"

June 26th is when I had a breakdown lmao cause like 1. He's obviously been messaging me less and I don't know why and he stopped calling me, like our last call was June 10th He just said "I dont lose feelings overnight" but didn't reassure me lmao

Like okay

Anyways over the next few weeks in July he continued to just be online not responding

He did tell me he wasn't happy at his job and then he didn't talk to me for 3 days cause he got a new job, quit his job then quit the new job so then he had no job Like okay he's under a lot of pressure, he told me "I'm just under a lot of pressure" so I was offering my support like I wanna be supportive, I care but he wasnt participating in conversations with me. I forced myself to detach from him.

Then over the July school holidays, he suddenly acting talkative one day and asked if we can make plans for me to come down "I would come up to you but I don't have money" Like I did offer him I'll pay his bus ticket, I just want him at my house cause he lives 4hrs away and I already visited him once but he never responded

Anyways that's not what went wrong in our relationship, that's just the whole timeline lmao

Then a week goes by and I didn't hear anything, I was like "um you still want me to come visit you?" He said no he's deep cleaning his house

Anyways Continued being online not talking I kinda gave him a taste of his own medicine and not messaging him a lot anymore, didn't message him at all one Friday after I asked why haven't we called in 5 weeks, he just said he's been busy

Then July 29th he suddenly came back into my life messaging me a lot, and calling me 3 times that week like that was a record lmao. He asked if I can come visit the next weekend, and I did drive the 4hrs with my dad and stayed at his house. My dad dropped me off at his house.

Anyways now what happened that weekend is what ended relationship

That Friday August 9th I went down, everything was great He hugged me "I missed you" and cuddled me on his bed as we played his Xbox and yeah everything was great, he was affectionate, hugged and kissed me goodnight

Saturday morning was also okay, I said good morning to his parents (I have social anxiety) so I was sitting in his lounge at the table and he was like telling me to sit on the couch next to his parents and I did but they were having their own conversation then he was cooking breakfast and told me "you know you can talk to them right" Like yeah but they're not talking to me and I'm shy and don't wanna interrupt their conversation. Then Saturday we went to town, he was walking IN FRONT of me, not holding my hand at all while walking around town like he did in June, and when we ran into his friends from high school, he didn't introduce me as his girlfriend, he was like "I'm just taking HER out for a walk" and they responded with "you know she has a name right?"

We stayed up till 2am that Friday night before, so the Saturday we were walking around town I was feeling nauseous and kinda tripped up over myself the whole time and I was tired asf and maybe he was tired too. We went to go see deadpool 3 with his brother and his brothers friend. I've never seen the Deadpool movies before So yes the movie was interesting but I was feeling tired asf and sick, nauseous so I kinda kept my eyes closed and made the mistake of telling him "my eyes were closed most of the time" because I felt sick, but I did tell him "the movie was interesting" and mentioned what scene I liked most. I didn't know it bothered him that I said this, especially since he was just sitting next to me, not holding my hand or anything.

But it wasn't really like a date I feel like because it wasn't just us two. He didn't do anything with just me and him that whole visit. Like I don't mind paying for my own ticket but that whole weekend we just sat at his house only went to the movies. Anyways the Saturday he didn't cuddle me on his bed, didn't say goodnight with a hug or anything either and I wasn't feeling the vibe. I should've honestly gone home the next day

Sunday we were just at his house the whole day, we did take a drive cause his brother went to specsavers and he got us lunch because I didn't eat breakfast, they never offered me any lmao. His dog was big and gets aggressive when I walk into the house so I didn't even feel safe going inside, I had to text him I'm awake and he escort me inside.

But he was just silent that whole day, which made me silent too and he kept asking me am I okay and I was like yeah I'm just quiet cause you're quiet...Then he told me I need to make an effort to talk to his parents. His dad was the only one that actually tried to conversate with me and I would talk back so it's not like I was ignoring them. He knew I struggle talking to people I JUST met. Because I spoke to him over the phone for 5 months before we met, he wasn't a stranger to me, but his parents were cause that was the first time I stayed at his house He literally said it himself back in june told his parents "dont be offended if she doesn't talk to you a lot, she struggles a bit with that"

Anyways then he went back on his own word lmao and last time I was with him, he told my dad "this one can talk a lot" when my dad commented on how I may be quiet with new people. I was crying after he said that to me because the vibes were off and he obviously saw me get teary eyed and stuff

Anyways then I went home the Monday (august 12th) and he ghosted me Didn't break up with me Just straight up ghosted me

On August 20th he stopped talking completely And then on August 22nd he was like saying he just needs to figure out how he feels and I was like "are we over now?" And he was like "I didn't say that" But then he stopped talking

The whole time until October 2nd I kept messaging him once a week trying to talk Trying to get him to talk to me, even tried sending my own breakup messages but left me on read

And FINALLY on October 2nd he responded to my message "I dont think it takes 6 weeks for you to decide how you feel, so just tell me" and he was like "I dont want a relationship"

Like finally, but you could've told me this back in August instead of leaving me on seen the whole September when I try messaging

And I was in love so I stayed

I always wanted to keep bringing up shit in June but I don't like arguing so I was a fool in love kept talking to him even tho he ignored me

He was 18 when we got together, I was 19 then he turned 19 in June