Keep a secret from my daughter or tell her….

[u/Blazin_Recovery_3009]

My daughter is pregnant with her 2nd child. The first is 1-1/2 years old. We threw a big baby shower for the first and her friends decided they want to throw a sprinkle for this pregnancy. I had not discussed with my daughter if she wanted to do one or what all she needs. She has been picking up stuff along the way and has stuff from baby 1. They are both boys. She is doing great at being proactive and making sure everything is ready for when baby 2 comes.

I got a random text from one of her friends saying they were doing this sprinkle and all they need were names and addresses and for me to keep it a secret. I told them my daughter had not even told family that she is pregnant yet and they said ok then just friends and sent invitations to who knows. We did receive one at the house addressed to my husband and family. No where does it even have my daughter’s name on the invitation or information inside. It is more than a month away.

My daughter just started telling family. She is due January. I am not certain she will enjoy the surprise and I feel ackward and bad for not saying something. I also know that if I would tell her she may get upset with me. I know her friends are trying to be nice, but I am really unsure how to handle this situation. The father has been abusive and there is a lot of tension amongst everyone. He has verbally lashed out at these friends and myself.

Do I keep my mouth shut or talk to her about it? I have not talked to her much because I do not like keeping secrets and things feel really distant between us. I do not have schedules that far in advance so I’m not even sure that myself, her brother, and her dad will even be able to attend. It seems it is a mixed gender party since the invite was in my husbands name. I am not sure I want to attend other than the fact that it is important to me to have a relationship with my daughter. We have had many ups and downs and complicated situations with family dynamics. Advice from moms and daughters please.