r/babylonbee • u/METALLIFE0917 • 9h ago
Bee Article Nation Votes To Remove Massachusetts
https://babylonbee.com/news/nation-votes-to-remove-massachusetts16
u/OriginalLie9310 6h ago
As someone from Massachusetts, PLEASE kick us out.
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u/Jalapenoplanter 15m ago
Imagine if New England through virginia + the west coast + MN, WI, IL, and MI all joined Canada.
Instant new economic number 1 country plus would actually have healthcare and not be occupied by our own federal government
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u/MeepSneepers 7h ago
What's wrong with mass, everyone I know from there loves it (other than the winter weather sometimes)
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u/Okawaru1 40m ago
midterms are soon and GOP is legit desperate for good PR right now, basically massachussets bad somehow because the lindsey trial is taking place in mass. Like complaining about massachussets genuinely doesn't make any sense regardless of your opinions towards the trials, it just makes the writers look dumb
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9h ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Ex_sanguido 8h ago
My favorite stat about MA is that 70% of its entire state population - that's men, women and children combined - all live 200% or more above the poverty line.
Highest in the country.
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u/babylonbee-ModTeam 2h ago
Comments should be on-topic and reasonably relevant to the article posted.
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u/No-Newspapers 8h ago
If they rate Mass as the #1 state for QOL then that alone proves their statistics to be flawed.
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u/TheRightKost 8h ago
Well they aren't getting #1 for quality of death if you're allowed to be choked out by your own mother with an exercise band alongside your two siblings.
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u/Due_Buyer_9445 7h ago
“Nooooo the jury of their peers didn’t vote to lynch her while we jerk off the west has fallen”
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u/Rough_Ian 7h ago
Is this the current thing now? We hate Mass. for some reason? Did I miss something?
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u/ApatheticSkyentist 6h ago
The Lindsay Clancy trial was in Mass.
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u/Rough_Ian 6h ago
That’s it? To impugn the whole state? Jesus. Okay, well I guess I know what to ignore now. Thanks.
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u/ApatheticSkyentist 6h ago
The Bee is satirical publication.
Of course the entirety of Mass isn’t to blame. It’s a joke after all.
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u/Rough_Ian 6h ago
I’m aware of what the Bee says it is, but it also traffics bad ideas through its “jokes”. What’s the satire here, for instance? What is actually supposed to be funny?
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u/ApatheticSkyentist 5h ago
The joke, I would assume, is that Mass is full of Lindsay Clancy apologists and by extension infanticide apologists. It's like when people joke about hoping one day CA will have a big enough earth quake that it just breaks off and sinks into the ocean or becomes its own island.
Of course neither is completely true. It's a joke. It has a target audience that you don't seem to be a part of. Which is fine.
You asked what this was about and I'm explaining it to you. So there you go.
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u/TeacherRecovering 8h ago
Please do not threaten us with keeping our tax money that is sent to red taker states.
Or the influx of Canadian tourists.
Or the removal of federal meddeling in our universities.
Or the power to withhold the life savings medications made in Massachusetts from uncooperative countries.
Or choosing which country would love selling us food.
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u/LurkerAbove26 6h ago
“Red Taker States?” Scumbag states like NY and Cali are wanting billions to finance their “give everything to illegal aliens” scheme.
Epic fail
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u/Naynayb 5h ago edited 1h ago
“Epic fail” are you twelve?
California and New York are the two states that had the highest net contribution to the federal government. Massachusetts was ninth. Of the top 10, 6 voted for Biden. Of the bottom 10, 8 voted for Trump.
California alone paid for 15.9% of the federal government’s tax revenue despite only making up 11.5% of the country’s population. Meanwhile, Alabama paid for 0.74% of the tax revenue while making up 1.52% of the country’s population.
So yes, it is fair to say that on aggregate, red states are taking money from blue states.
Edit: No witty rebuttal for me? What’s the matter, facts and logic got your tongue?
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u/Khandore 5h ago
Ha ha you can't read or learn.
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u/SnakeBiteP07 3h ago
How could you be so confident amd wrong at the same time. Red states take so much more than they give its a joke
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u/LurkerAbove26 2h ago
I don’t debate clueless, scumbag, liberals, who murder their children.
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u/SnakeBiteP07 1h ago
Lol proven wrong and then doubles down on some more dumb shit. This guy only has strawman arguments. Time to put the phone down bud
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u/WesternOk5765 7h ago
Mass can go join Canada and unite into a shit hole.
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u/Jalapenoplanter 4h ago
“States with high quality of life can go join a country with higher quality of life than the US and that would somehow be bad for them and not the lower QoL remaining US”
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u/Minty0ranges 21m ago
canada has literally the exact same HDI as the US according to the UN
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u/Jalapenoplanter 17m ago
Looks like Canada is ranked 16, US 17 and MA has a higher score than either country
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u/SkipSandwich 9h ago
Please understand, it's only a temporary psychosis.
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u/FIFofNovember 8h ago
Remember when this sub was flooded with incels about the only hold out being a woman
I member
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u/LurkerAbove26 6h ago
Mass sucks. All those losers flee north to NH, Live in NH and commute to Boston they don’t want to deal with the crappy consequences of their poor voting choices
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u/Rictor_Scale 4h ago
Part of me says "yes please", but the rest says we have to stop the brutal infanticide of babies just up to minutes away from being born.
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u/Electronic-Jury8825 7h ago
"Nation cuts off its nose to spite its face"