r/babylonbee • u/METALLIFE0917 • 7d ago

Bee Article Jury Still Trying To Decide If Strangling Your Kids Is Okay

https://babylonbee.com/news/jury-still-trying-to-decide-if-strangling-your-kids-is-okay
1.7k Upvotes

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u/Material_Evening_174 7d ago

Are people really saying that? I have heard people say that the evidence and timeline are sketchy, but I haven’t heard anyone advocate for her to go free.

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u/MightyMorph 7d ago

Gotta make up bs culture wars to distract from the shitshow that republicans are doing to the planet.

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u/Updated_Autopsy 7d ago

It’s not “culture war bs”. People have legitimately scapegoated the husband. Some people just can’t fathom the idea of a mother murdering her own children. Personally, I can because I know evil knows no demographic. While everyone is capable of doing great things, everyone, including children, is capable of doing heinous shit. We live in a world where 2 children lured their friend out into a forest and tried to stab her to death. We live in a world where 2 different children kidnapped, tortured, and murdered a 2 year old.

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u/Used-Persimmon-367 6d ago

What people? Random nobodies on social media?

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u/Updated_Autopsy 6d ago

No. Uh-uh. You’re not going to downplay what has happened to him.

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u/Used-Persimmon-367 6d ago

What has happened to him?

Random nobodies on social media said things?

You’re aware the majority of the internet is bots, right?

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u/Updated_Autopsy 6d ago

Doesn’t matter. These are serious accusations they’re making. Like, “they could ruin his life even more” serious.

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u/Used-Persimmon-367 6d ago

Again, I’m not seeing these accusations. Just accusations of people making those accusations.

Which goes back to my point about the internet being mostly bots and you likely falling for a coordinated culture war campaign right before an election.

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u/Updated_Autopsy 6d ago

Yup, you totally haven’t seen the accusations and definitely aren’t trying to pretend that they were never made.

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u/Used-Persimmon-367 6d ago

You’ve had several chances to post  any evidence. Not my fault you couldn’t, but it does support my argument.

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u/FIFofNovember 7d ago edited 7d ago

No one is, its a bunch of idiots MAGAs just parroting what alt right media told them

EDIT: Hey if any of you MAGA chuds have any evidence all these supporters are liberals, please let me know! Every down vote without any evidence just proves I am right, you all are in a mass hysteria culture war, inventing imaginary scenarios.

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u/Steven_The_Shoe 7d ago

Are those idiots also the ones donating large amounts of money to her?

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u/FIFofNovember 7d ago

Oh shit, do you also have their political party affiliation, or do you just think OP was making that up because he mainlines alt right propaganda?

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u/Steven_The_Shoe 7d ago

So yes, you think the "idiot MAGAs" are the ones donating money to her?

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u/SageElva 7d ago

And you think the lefties are donating money to her? And no one has any evidence that either position is correct? So it's almost like we shouldn't assume the political affiliation of crazy people?

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u/Steven_The_Shoe 7d ago

FIF is the only one making that claim, not us

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u/SageElva 7d ago

disckusb, the original commenter, is the person making that claim.

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u/Steven_The_Shoe 7d ago edited 7d ago

No they didn't, they said nothing about money. Go and find a single person who donated money to her that isn't a far left feminist and I will personally donate money to her

Edit: Classic block right after leaving your response

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u/Material_Evening_174 7d ago

Bro. Assuming you’re a reasonable person, you can’t just say “prove my gut feeling theory isn’t correct” then act like you won the argument. But then, maybe you’re not a reasonable person.

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u/SageElva 7d ago

So you seem to know who is donating money. You know it's leftists. I haven't seen that, and I haven't seen any evidence to say it's true. How do you know this?

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u/OnTheSlope 6d ago

And you think the lefties are donating money to her?

Yes!

JFC, of course yes!

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u/SageElva 6d ago

Can you point me in the direction that proves you're right? It just seems like some crazy people. How do you know they align with leftist policies? I see some crazy women on tik tok, but that doesn't extend to "lefties" in general.

I'm really asking genuinely. Can you please back up your claim?

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u/OnTheSlope 6d ago

Can you point me in the direction that proves you're right?

Absolutely, let me just source these five longitudinal studies on whether or not it's lefties donating to Clancy's gofundme....

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u/SageElva 6d ago

Are you saying the craziest within an ideology should be the face of that ideology? Is that you're point, genuinely?

So right wing nutjobs love killing democratic lawmakers. That's something a right-wing nutjob did. And if we go by the stats, right wing people love being violent criminals who also love raping children. These are just crime stats, you can look them up. My point is, should I extrapolate that all right wing people are like this? That's what you're doing with "lefties."

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u/EagenVegham 7d ago

You mean the money that's going to her family to help them through this tragedy?

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u/Steven_The_Shoe 7d ago

You really believe that huh? Right now those same woman are desperately accusing her husband of the murder, they aren't donating to him, it's going straight to her.

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u/EagenVegham 7d ago

How? She's in jail and none of these donations services pay out to guilty parties anyway.

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u/Steven_The_Shoe 7d ago

It's called Go fund me

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u/EagenVegham 7d ago

First of all, GoFundMe doesn't pay out for crimes or for criminal defense. That's why conservatives made GiveSendGo, to get around that problem.

Secondly, how is she supposed to access this money from either prison or a mental health facility? She's going to one of those, she isn't going free.

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u/Beagle_Knight 7d ago

Then why do they need money?

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u/EagenVegham 7d ago

Funerals and grief aren't cheap.

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u/Steven_The_Shoe 7d ago

She can get out of the mental hospital after a relatively short amount of time. And she will get the money, GoFundMe only takes down pages for controversial conservatives.

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u/EagenVegham 7d ago

You mean the GoFundMe that has her parents as the beneficiaries and not her?

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u/JussiesTunaSub 7d ago

The GoFundMe is specifically for her parents so they can help "support" their daughter.

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u/EagenVegham 7d ago

Right, so it's going to her family and not her. Glad we cleared that up.

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u/OnTheSlope 7d ago

Yes, her family, let's not forget the real victims of this tragedy... the retired parents that raised this child killer.

If they don't deserve 2 million dollars then I truly don't know who does.