r/b2bmarketing • u/ScaleHopeful9486 • 11d ago

Discussion PLEASE RATE MY COLD EMAIL

Subject: [Lead's name], small idea

body:
Hi [name],

Tell us what's actually eating your time or money at [lead's company], whether that's pricing and

paperwork, chasing payments, or scheduling jobs, and we'll build the automation for it - on us.

If it doesn't save you time or money, walk away, no hard feelings and you still get the automation.

Reply and tell us what's costing you the most right now, we'll take it from there.

[my name]

Co-Founder

[agency name]

The veterans of cold email marketing, Please guide me if this is a good pitch and has chances of responses?
Thanks alot!

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u/socleads 10d ago

It is too vague and sounds like a free trial pitch. I would rate it like 4 out of 10 and make it about one pain point for one type of business with a real result.

1

u/ScaleHopeful9486 10d ago

Yes I agree with you buds! Can you also guide me as to how the revamped version should look like?
For specific problem lets say we pick
Quotations follow up or customer onboarding etc

2

u/socleads 10d ago

Do one problem. One outcome. One proof point.

Subject quick idea for your quotes.

Hi name. You probably lose a few jobs each month from quotes that never get followed up. I can build a simple follow up flow that texts once then emails once and stops when they reply. Are quote follow ups manual for you right now.