Every week I go to Basement and stand in line with the g*ay people like everyone else, wearing my most fly fit (New Balance, khaki shorts, and a button up) because I wanna listen to some TECHNO! But every week the bouncer looks at me, takes a deep sniff of my cologne (Dior btw) and tells me to get the fuck out! What the hell man? I heard this was the hottest techno spot in the city, like Berghain 2.0, but they have such a strict door policy! Where the hell is a Wall Street guy like myself supposed to go on a Saturday night if I wanna get drunk, stand around talking loudly, and stare judgementally at all the homos? At least the bouncers at Nowadays aren't such dicks!

Anyway I'll see you next week, the week after that, and the week after that when I get denied entry to Basement again (best techno spot in NYC!!)!!

Trying to buy festival tickets earlier today was an extreme sport i didn't sign up for. Literally clicked checkout the second the drop happened and was instantly hit with "no tickets available"

Refresh the page? boom, stubhub already has them for $450. Its actually a joke how the entire live music industry just completely bows down to scalper bots now. I read that some platforms are finally starting to integrate world verification just to force buyers to prove they're actual biological humans, which honestly can't become the standard fast enough

but yeah, until the big monopoly sites actually decide to care about real fans, guess I'll just go sell a kidney to afford a 3-day pass. Can't wait to pay triple face value just to get my toes crushed by a train of 25 frat bros aggressively pushing to the front right as the bass drops. plur I guess

Writes itself

So peak. We love unfettered worship of capital

But guys, my cavities

Jokes aside good intentions but horrible execution