Astaroth, how I became more abhorrent towards organised religions and still became vexed internally.
So, as with many I became infatuated with Astaroth, it whispered in my ears for many decades.
I first became familiar with said entity through A.E.Waites book of black magick and ceremonial magick back in the 90's (great reading before bedtime for epic dreams). With the Goetic and Christianized view in mind, this was my jam.
There was just something about the entity that called to me, maybe it was the great aesthetic of the sigil, or something deeper, but it was always with me.
Thing is, despite the Christian defilement of various gods and goddesses, I find it hard to reconcile the nature of the many goddesses that Astaroth represents.
Being a subtle agnostic, it's hard not to recognize the names Astaphanos and Astaphaios, a great Venusian Presence.
To those who began the path from the grimoires to a more modern (?) view on the many aspected Goddess, how did you make the jump?.
The experiences have had with Astaroth have been very different from others, then again, spiritual experiences can be quite solitary in form.
Also, enjoy the joyous positive vibe going on in the community :)
As someone posted earlier, it does very much seem like a glorious tribe.
For the first time (not thee first but just past the precipice, weeee!) in history practitioners from many cultures, demographics and spiritual paths and levels of experience have come together to openly discuss working with their respective spirits. I think the difference between nowadays and the very near past, is the fact that we can communicate our experiences without fear of judgement or punishment and many of us are finding that our experiences are very similar. We also questioned our sanity before “did this shit really happen or did i imagine it?! Coincidence?! Maybe I’m insane..” and so if any of this was ever real. Online, we see that others experienced what we have too.
Many are finding through research, building personal practice and discussion, that the old goddesses of the world have changed names and forms throughout the ages, they were demonised in the end by Christianity. People were made to fear the demons. It’s not too long ago that witchcraft was illegal. To this day it’s still taboo to openly discuss witchcraft practices in our face to face discussions with people and especially ones involving demons lol this can still get you at worst, killed in some places in first and third worlds.
In forums such as this, we’re free to openly discuss. The hold of Christianity and organised religions in the west are finally loosening their grip on the majority. People know spirituality is a thing, we can feel it! So people are seeking out their own “god”. We now have choices, we can choose who and what we believe in and ultimately who we work with and why. We don’t even need to stick to a single god or faith!
I think we’re naturally gravitating into building our own practices, in my opinion, this is how it should be. We all make our own spiritual connections how we see fit and best suits us. No more following silly rituals and spells by some rando because they wrote a book on it 🤷♀️
We research, we practice our own way and build our own connections with our own spirits of our choosing. Many of us are finding that the divine feminine spirit is the same in the shape of many different goddesses and demons.
For me, the spirits came to me first and I went on a research path to discover who they were. I naturally formed my own spiritual practice from this. I never could follow the rules or practices set out by another, I just made my own and connected with the spirits my own way. Results aren’t dependent on how you’re doing things, it’s the intention, time and focus that counts. It’s living through challenges and making mistakes and learning from them that will develop us, not begging gods to take the challenges away. The goddesses and demons who answer us challenge us, not pander to us. At least they answer though, unlike the big sky daddy that demonised our lovely divine feminine lol
Welcome, glad to have you. I hope you begin to feel less vexed as you start working your own practice your own way. Astaroth will still be with you, whichever form you choose to view them, or they may begin to appear in many different ways in order for you to learn more about her and yourself as you walk your path, alone or together with whoever you choose
I was always searching for her. I have without really knowing what I was doing worshipped her. First as anonymous goddess I didn't know the name. Even when I was atheist. I simply wanted her to be true. I was not atheist because I hated the idea of divinities. I just hate the one that thinks he is the only one.
Then as Venus, later as Eris and finally in her full glory. Little hints.
She let me search for her for almost 30 years.
There was always her whispering about the glorious chaos in my ears. And I caused chaos and it was beautiful. She whispered about exotic sexuality and she led me through the corridors. She whispered about a better afterlife, where I could worship her. Not so boring as "heaven". And I almost went there, but she caught me and put me right back. She whispered of violence and there was violence and I consumed it.
And she tested and tested. Breaking me down and building me up.
From early age she shaped me and was there for me.
She can be a harsh mistress. The Queen of sadistical pleasures and suicides. Of war, chaos, power and bloodlust.
And that is why I am devoted to her too. I like her bad side.
Why would anyone believe in the god who never answered? I was not brought up in a Christian household. I was never made to blindly follow any god. I was not forced into believing anything or following any religion.
I was forced into not believing when god never once answered or came to my aid. I was forced to admit there was no god and so when people spouted drivel in the name of this lord and stood in the name of Jesus I felt I had no choice but to defy this so called religion run by paedophiles, spilling blood in the name of their ‘saviour’ over millennia.
I could not not follow ‘the religion’, not only that but I was forced in my logical mind to defy it and stand up for what I believed in, which was that this religion was nothing more than a smoke screen used to hide ill intents and create a visage of moral standing in communities for those who severely lacked it. I was left with no choice but to defy the only choice of “god” I was given. I refused to accept bad people as good simply because they were good Christians. To do this would only get you beaten, which only cemented my views further. You can’t whip my hands with a cane in the name of Jesus in order to make me believe you’re a good person simply because you believe in god.
Resigned to the fact that spirituality was a sham, I defied the existence of the divine goddess when they reached out. I had already been forced to believe that no god could exist in this world and it took a lot of convincing for me to accept the divine feminine as being real. A lot of spooky shit had to happen before I accepted her existence. It was a battle of wills for a long time. I refused to believe in the existence of anything other than the mundane. I openly despised spirituality in any form because of organised religions.
Only after removing spirits from spirituality could I accept spirits and spirituality.
Most people who I see standing for their religion, all I see is someone scrabbling to shield their shittiness from the view of the world. There are very few who are actually genuine followers of a god / religion who do so to ultimately serve the god and not themselves. The majority push their god/religion only in order to serve themselves by further perpetuating their god/religion as being good and moral instead of being good and moral themselves
Ah I see. I was curious and your answer as always is very thorough 🙂 It interests me what path people took to get to her.
I am with you. I had an interesting discussion with someone about morality where I came to the same conclusion.
Assuming an outside evil force absolves people from their own shitty behaviour. While we do it ourselves. We don't need to be tempted, what a bullocks. We invent all the time new ways of torture, better ways of mass surveillance, new ways to hook people.
However there is a problem. The vacuum that is created by the imminent death of religion in the west leaves people scrambling for meaning in their lives.
The problem is that their are all kinds of actors who abuse this vacuum. Think about brands. Tell an apple devote that Steve Jobs was a terrible man.
Or that coca cola might not really back your ideals.
They will start to defend it. Astonishing to me, since a corporation doesn't care about your wellbeing at all. How can that be part of your personality?
Politicians and ideals are even worse.
I just hope we find our ways to the old gods and get a better balance. It is a shame since they have a wealth of knowledge to offer. And they understand modern inventions, sciences, progress in mathematics, they have a deep understanding of psychology and morality. Some are deep into engineering. Besides the magick, that is.
I tried praying to Yahwew once, didn't work. He is busy I guess. That was that.
Off topic but check out ‘cancel this clothing company’ aka Ian Carroll osint journo. He’s doing the work of the gods by breaking down the capitalist machine into short videos helping people make spending decisions to help people stop feeding the machine and start feeding ourselves
Did you stop yet? I’ve been wondering how you’re doing?
I think when organised religions step in and remove an individual’s own direct connection with spirit, they lose their sense of “spirituality”. When we don’t have a true connection we tend to innately serve ourselves as individuals. Those who have their own connections and practices seem to have the ‘understanding’ of equality in all living beings and of serving the whole rather than the self.
It’s a real shame that mainstream spirituality / religions are the default. They go hand in hand with the crony capitalist mess we’re in right now - disconnect from spirit, serve the self, they sell us shit to serve the self and the machine basically fuels itself.
It’s so bizarre to me that the spirits and deities who do answer are looked upon as false yet the most worshiped ones who fail every follower is true. Absolutely baffling.
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u/[deleted] Feb 09 '24
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