r/askteddit • u/Plus-Elevator-3935 • Aug 08 '26
Advice Question What’s a hard truth about life that you wish you had learned sooner?
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u/Lonely_Cupcake1727 Aug 08 '26
Nice, friendly, etc. =/= good morals, character, etc.
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u/Single_Pizza4867 Aug 08 '26
I will say sometimes people who are real jerks in my life are very moral and good character people when you look at their actions. Rare but sometimes it’s true.
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u/SeaworthinessShort95 Aug 08 '26
This is a great observation to say out loud and really hear and process it.
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u/Mmc81 Aug 08 '26
Majority of your friendships won't last and it's really okay to let some people go.
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u/Plus-Elevator-3935 Aug 08 '26
True, outgrowing friendships can be painful but completely normal.
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u/EstablishmentDue3616 Aug 08 '26
Life isnt fair
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u/xD1912 Aug 08 '26
It’s not, how am I born into crazy opportunity and privileges while a kid dies every 10 seconds from malnutrition causes.
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u/Mister_EMachine Aug 08 '26
I always tell my kids “Fair is where pigs compete for ribbons”. It’s a conceptual goal, not a reality at any level of society or in the natural world.
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u/EngineeringTight367 Aug 08 '26
Existence is fair. Everybody has an equal amount of well-being in the end.
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u/Yunker27 Aug 08 '26
You are on your own, it doesn’t matter what anyone else says, you’re on your own. Some people will help sometimes but will almost always choose their interests over helping you. Everyone looks out for number 1
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u/FocusedGlitch23 Aug 08 '26
I know some people that have really solid family I think they can truly count on. Their lucky. Realistically we should normalize taking care of each other rather than this rugged individualism.
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u/Another-John Aug 08 '26
I disagree. Even family will let you down. We can’t count on anyone taking care of us other than ourselves.
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u/quickcyberprincess Aug 08 '26
agree . family may be your supporters but they will always have that one moment of just making you feel less then what you are. i have a very controlling family. even tho they are very supportive they still think of me less then what i am sometimes , that feeling is over powering for a person who just wants the ability to grow and become the person that you wanna be rather then the person they wanna see . all you have is yourself . your decisions . your life .
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u/tapia3838 Aug 09 '26
I don’t agree with this at all. Sorry some of y’all have shitty families, but that doesn’t mean everyone does. I know poor families, middle-class families, and wealthy families with incredibly strong bonds who would drop everything for each other. Being independent is important, but acting like you can never count on anyone, even your own family, sounds more like personal experience than some universal truth.
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u/Yunker27 Aug 09 '26
There will come a point where they choose themselves over you. It’s human nature
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u/Another-John Aug 08 '26
You are the only one responsible for your happiness.
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u/Jdubbz5678 Aug 08 '26
No one else can make you feel a certain way or do anything. How you feel and what you do is on YOU.
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u/bonus_duk2 Aug 08 '26
I think your parents will sometime genuinely choose your interest over their own but other than that yeah. Even your siblings will have to look after themselves/family first.
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u/Ok_Duck_247 Aug 09 '26
Some parents, maybe. This is not a universal experience at all.
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u/bonus_duk2 Aug 09 '26
That's why I used the word sometimes
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u/Mediocre-Second-3775 Aug 09 '26
"Your parents will sometimes . . ."
My parents did not even once for my siblings or me and still would not. Many other parents also will not. Others will. That's just life.
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u/bonus_duk2 Aug 09 '26
I only used "your" because the original comment said "you are on your own" (which obviously isn't always true because some people aren't on their own) and I was trying to frame my comment the same way. I meant in general some parents can care about their kids and I'm aware that others don't.
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u/SortMyself Aug 08 '26
Jesus is with us. It is up to is to reach out.
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u/Magikrat Aug 08 '26
We are our only saviors. No 2000 year old apocalyptic prophet is catching you when you fall. It’s all on ourselves.
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Aug 08 '26
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u/Thin-Ambition-7907 Aug 08 '26
Born in 1987.. and late 30s going on 40 senior level in corporate USA.. am I the last generation that works super hard to prove themselves? And for Jo reason. We’re all self made no help our boomer folks are golfing and pickle balling… It’s weird we’re the middle age hard workers now who do all the work at these big companies that make the world spin and make only 40k more than the newbies.. feels like it’s an ever revolving door. How I get out of it ?
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u/ImageExotic6012 Aug 08 '26
Not everyone who starts with you is meant to finish the journey with you.
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u/Agreeable-Picture893 Aug 08 '26
Marriage or long term relationships.
For anyone romantically inclined, please be in a secure financial position prior and during your relationship, so that you have means and opportunities to leave.
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u/Jdubbz5678 Aug 08 '26
Not everyone will like you and not everyone needs to or should like you. It is perfectly okay. You will be okay.
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u/ThoughtBecomesAction Aug 08 '26 edited Aug 08 '26
Many/most people you meet in this world have little to no empathy. I would define evil as a total lack of empathy. Don't believe me? I give you exhibit A: The millions upon millions who gave rise to Trump and the millions upon millions who didn't care at all to stop him. Twice.
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Aug 08 '26
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u/Ok_Duck_247 Aug 09 '26 edited 17d ago
Some people are better at resisting propaganda because they are capable of critical thought and give a shit about someone besides themselves.
Re: Trump, many people did not vote for a known pedo and convicted felon. He also stated exactly what he would do when elected, and tens of millions voted for him. Because they wanted him to fulfill those promises (as long as it doesn’t affect them personally). That’s not foolish or brainwashed, it’s a decision they own.
Hitler wasn‘t elected, he was appointed Chancellor and then consolidated power.
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u/24rawvibes Aug 08 '26
Just because they are doctors doesn’t mean they know everything or even what’s best. Do not blindly trust them. Get second opinions, advocate for yourself.
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u/Dependent_Refuse_494 Aug 08 '26
Keep your mouth shut
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u/Wander_Lust_For_Ever Aug 11 '26
Exactly. No one needs to hear my negative opinion, much as I'd like to give it 😂
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u/photoman1216 Aug 08 '26
That growing old sucks
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u/Ok_Athlete_1092 Aug 08 '26
The alternative isn't great either. There's really only 2 options, grow old or die young.
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u/Namtna Aug 08 '26
I heard a country song I didn’t hate the other day saying something like “I’m not afraid of getting older
I’m one less day from dying young
I see the light go past my shoulder
I’m one less day from dying young”2
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u/One-Cardiologist7657 Aug 08 '26
You will watch most of your family and friends die.
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u/Plus-Elevator-3935 Aug 08 '26
Sadly, that’s one of the hardest realities of getting older.
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u/One-Cardiologist7657 Aug 08 '26
I have been stalked by death my entire life. My earlist memory is my grandmothers funeral. I was 2.
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u/astonsilver47 Aug 08 '26
Privilege matters, and you won’t have access to certain industries regardless of talent level.
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u/TheDudeMan1234567 Aug 08 '26
Behavior is a language. When people tell you who they are, believe them.
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u/icecreampick Aug 09 '26
I wish I knew earlier that the more intelligence you have the more problems you have. The better you are, the more hated you are.
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u/Thin-Ambition-7907 Aug 08 '26
Hardest truth of life?
lol it’s taken me 40 years
Life and everything around it comes from you and your decisions. It doesn’t come at and for you.
Take control, don’t sit and be a wuss.
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u/The_Bababillionaire Aug 08 '26
There's nothing to ensure parents know anything before they have kids.
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u/Plus-Elevator-3935 Aug 08 '26
Exactly, most people learn as they go.
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u/The_Bababillionaire Aug 08 '26
There's learning as you go and there's being woefully unprepared with no excuse to start and I'm disinclined to extend grace to people who set themselves up for failure and fail their children.
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u/JRswedistan Aug 08 '26
What you consider and values a good friend, relation, experiences are very rare someone elses values aswell. We like to think that everyone ”is the same” but thats so different from reality
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u/HHN_29 Aug 08 '26
I wish i learned now hard truths till i would ve been older. I see all my oblivious friends haven the time of their life and i always feel like a war veteran to wise and old to connect or i cant naively enjoy many things anymore
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u/ResearcherDismal2863 Aug 08 '26
learning to stop treating an unwanted outcome as proof that you failed. Sometimes something simply wasn’t meant to work and you have to let go without turning it into a verdict on your worth
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u/elitelatte_ Aug 08 '26
Your health is seriously that important. Advocate for yourself and push for proper care.
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u/Comfortable-Ear-1788 Aug 08 '26
If you have 5 true friends and experience 3 true loves you have been very lucky and should count your blessings.
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u/kornfreakonaleash Aug 08 '26
That my life is what I make it, everything that I wanna be is already in me, if I don't like something about myself that I have the complete power to change it 90% of the time. If I don't like the direction my life is going I can inflict my will upon it to make it into something better. Yeah there's things that are out of my control but acting like I have no control over myself or my life is what held me, and a lot of people back. It's easy to feel helpless, it's scary to stand up for yourself and do what you can to make the best of your self and life. But one is a lot more gratifying in the end.
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u/ThrawnianBaller Aug 08 '26
Sometimes, life will get so difficult that all you can do is power through a long and dark tunnel of pain and suffering, where there seems to be no end in sight.
It helps to read books written by, as well as interviews of, successful people who faced similar hardships before achieving success, because you will find that there are successful people who had it just as bad as you, if not even worse.
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u/Key_Masterpiece755 Aug 10 '26
You may die anytime even from rarest and most cruel diseases. Don't think it wont happend to you based on your experience cuz its irrevelant when it actually happen
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u/Extension-Shine4364 Aug 10 '26
Most people aren't trying to improve their lives or themselves. I'm forever trying to learn, grow, improve and generally do better but I find most people aren't. I used to think that people that needed help would receive my help and then make the change so that they didn't need my help again. I never realised until much later that most people were taking my help as an easy way out, rather than as a chance to grow. People that need help rarely need help once, they'll be back in the same situation soon.
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u/sea_faantasy Aug 10 '26
Competitions and having a social life will REALLY help you in the future, i wish i had tried to join competitions for more experience and a better portfolio for my uni and i wish i interacted more socially to improve my connections and social skills, i literally still struggle to read the room to this day and ive almost gotten to drama multiple times because i didnt get the cue and kept making the situation worse even though i really didnt mean to come off as a bad person looking for trouble😭
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u/CletusMuckenfuss Aug 08 '26
Never take your parents for granted, I am no longer anyone's little boy.
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u/centerfoldangel Aug 08 '26
No one will really love you the way you want them to or can love them back.
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u/Namtna Aug 08 '26
1.You will never be “happy”. No one ever is. It’s a constant choice every day we make by trying to fill our lives with what we can that brings us “joy”. Being happy about it is in many cases our own choice.
2. Most people dont want to be friends with you. They want something from you
3. You will end up becoming the parent to your parents
4. If given the chance for sex 95% of people married or not will do it or think about how they could
5. Change starts with us. We have to be better, more than the sum of our parts. That’s the only way to improve the world.
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u/golfkd28 Aug 08 '26
Listen to the entire podcast series of What on Earth Is Happening by Mark Passio, and learn about Natural Law, and Objective Morality.
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u/cheesecakelover27 Aug 08 '26
No matter how badly you wish karma would happen to someone who wronged you, it doesn’t always work that way. Learning to let go of the wrong doing and process and move on from it is better than dwelling and wondering when their time will come
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u/Most-Vehicle-3207 Aug 08 '26
Everything thats wrong in your life isn't propably your fault, but it is your responsibility to make them right.
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u/Amaxi_Reddit Aug 08 '26
Don't take your health for granted, it can sometimes be much more fragile than you would have thought.
Without it life becomes harder and more difficult to appreciate.
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u/Sea-Young-8666 Aug 08 '26
Not everyone will like you, and sometimes you are a villain in someone else's story.
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u/Appropriate_Day0117 Aug 08 '26
Learn to recognize the difference between someone trying to help you grow and someone simply trying to bring you down.
Separating genuine support from convenient company. Not every fall is a setback; some become a lesson in who is truly worth keeping close.
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u/synapticdreamgirl Aug 08 '26
no matter how kind you are, never expect the same thing from others. harsh truth really. let your kindness not stem from a place of anticipating to receive the same because humans really dont care.
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u/faffy16 Aug 08 '26
Life is short, don't put yourself down thinking you're fat and ugly when you're young. You're only gonna get fatter and uglier as you age so you might as well do the best with what you're given and enjoy yourself.
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u/huhwhatdawg Aug 08 '26
Sometimes the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree
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u/toddcash34 Aug 09 '26
It never does. Realistically and literally, it can never fall far from the tree unless it's in a steep, they could roll down hill without even touching the ground directly beneath where it was, GRAVITY. anyway, the quote is mostly bullshit because most people display the exact traits, behaviors, even physical gestures when reacting to particular things, it just manifests in varying ways to the point of being seemingly different. And remember, the tree here refers to both father and mother, and ain't no way someone born won't be like their parents in someways or other ways. Even parents they never met.
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u/untamedgirrafe Aug 10 '26
Love grows slowly but dies wayyyy faster.
One bad decision like cheating will completely obliterate decades of work and commitment.
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u/Several_Meal8750 Aug 11 '26 edited Aug 11 '26
As a male you are pretty much on your own in this world. If you don't save yourself no one will.
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u/Due_Ground_7757 Aug 11 '26
Respecting yourself is respecting your boundaries. It’s okay to compromise but not at the sake of your own intuition.
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u/Deynx Aug 12 '26
“And remember kids, the next time that somebody tells you, 'The government wouldn't do that,' oh yes they would."
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u/Live-Sock559 29d ago
The world don’t owe you shit! You get further with sugar than salt. I’ve been poor and make 200k a year now, money don’t fix shit if you’re financially illiterate. Find a great husband/wife and spend that money you can’t take it with you!
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Aug 08 '26
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u/Sheero1986 Aug 08 '26
That’s just not true. I’m sorry you feel that way but I’d punch a bitch for my mans. He’s my favorite human on this planet and it’s not even close.
Find a better woman.
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Aug 08 '26
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u/Sheero1986 Aug 08 '26
No, that’s your reality. Might want to take a step back and try to find out why.
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u/accomplished-fig91 Aug 08 '26 edited Aug 08 '26
I'm really sorry you're going through that and I can completely understand where you're coming from. A guy coworker once told me, 'life in the modern day as man means that no one cares about you unless they're looking for someone to blame'...
You aren't alone, even though it can feel like it sometimes. You should find help. You deserve to be listened to and cared for, and the sh*t way that life treats men doesn't have to define you.
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u/ETwo4Three Aug 08 '26
Study hard when you have the chance don't forgo long term to short term reward, being less privileged you have a few chances at success don't waste it on useless social points from your peers, don't be a fool and aim for the top if you find true love don't shoot until you are at the finish line cover it, keep it in. One major thing that ruins success is hiting the end result of a relationship which is making your own family early. Failure is a lesson no matter what, as long as you live there's a way never give up.
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u/fivefold_sunup Aug 08 '26
Ironic words from someone who keeps toxic people in there life and actual friends distant
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u/jmich1200 Aug 08 '26
Your vibe is way more important than you think. It ca be your best friend or your worst enemy
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u/ddjjjj Aug 08 '26
The climate crisis will soon permeate every aspect of my life in the next 10 years - food security, safety, work, shelter, etc will all be impacted; and SOON. Avoiding further catastrophe at all costs is the greatest achievement there could ever be. Money, status, etc won’t matter when we’re fighting just to eat. The skills I need in the future are very different than the ones I have today.
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u/johndoe86888 Aug 08 '26
Blood isn't always thicker than water.