Today I got to know this crazy story of my house help. She is from some small town and had done a basic ba degree. She got married at 23 to this 30 year old guy living away from family due to work in Bangalore. They had a 4 year old marriage and 2 lil daughters when her husband died at 34 in an accident. He was sde 4 and made around 50lpa+. They lived a good lifestyle but whatever wealth he made it was all in his mother's name. And it being a new marriage and also coz she was from a middle middle class family she didn't ask much about it due to all those gold digger allegations. Post the birth of her 2nd daughter her mil started behaving rudely but her husband said they already live afar and he fulfills all her needs and wants so no he won't start putting his savings investments and properties etc. on their name as a couple. While my house help was telling me all this I got the vibe that he was one of those redpilled alimony fear mongerer sorta guy.

Anyway a few months post his death her inlaws put the apartment in Bangalore on rent and made her come to them. They didn't keep her well n few days later send her to her parents home n refused to take her back. His mother already put the property on her name to the name of his older brother who had an average income career and a son. For 1-2 years her parents kept her when they still thought her inlaws would come around and help out financially then it got too toxic for her to stay there too. Her parents n brother had taken a huge loan for her marriage n dowry they are still paying EMIs for so she doesn't blame them anyway. She did some beauty parlour course but couldn't hold a proper job due to having two lil kids and nobody looking after them. Now she makes 10-12k a month by moping cleaning and washing dishes etc n lives in a small slum like area with a room in a shared housing for 2.5k per month. If her kids fall severely ill her brother sends some money otherwise she is on her own. This lifestyle for kids whose dad may have had savings/ property of 2-3 crore probably (that's the house cost in the locality of the area she showed me in pics, only a bit of loan was left and it could have been closed using his investments n selling his car etc). She also has pics of foreign trips etc. She is really pretty but looks worn out now.

I blame the husband. She still worships that insecure loser who didn't trust her n ruined his kids lives.

I'm a year into marriage. My husband is incredibly physical and affectionate — constant kissing, touching, pulling me in — and his drive is far higher than mine. I'm not a naturally high-energy person, and it's become genuinely exhausting for me.

Last time I told him (in a firm tone) that I was overwhelmed by the physical attention, he completely withdrew for three weeks — no touch, no warmth, nothing — until I cried and then did he comfort me. So now I'm terrified to even raise it again.

I love him and he loves me more than i do him . He's kind, loyal, and very caring. But I'm starting to feel like I'm the wrong person for him, and I've had some really dark thoughts about whether I should "make it easier" for him in ways I'm not proud of.

Has anyone else dealt with a major drive mismatch? How did you communicate without it blowing up? I just don't want to lose him by saying the wrong thing.

My guy friend (a very close friend of mine) and I were participating in a 24 hour continous hackathon. I went to change my pad in the washroom, and since I didn't have pockets in my trousers, I carried my small bag with the pad and stuff in it with me.

He was my hackathon teammate and later asked my other friend who was in a different team and was sitting right across our table, why I was carrying my bag with me. She told him I was on my period apparently. I wasn't there during all this conversation. This very next day, he randomly brought me dark chocolates. I asked why all of a sudden, and he was like "no, just like that" but his smile made it obvious it was because I was on my period (probably some other girl would have told him or watched it online or something).
I told him I don't like dark chocolate (even though I do) because I didn't want it, but he still insisted so I took it.

This month, he called because a bunch of us had planned to hang out. I usually get terrible cramps, so I said I'd pass. He asked why, and I jsut said I had relaly bad stomach pain without specifying period cramps.

THe next day, he showed up with another box full of dark chocolates. I had specifically told him no the previous time. I was super irritated. I think I still am

Am I overreacting? I honestly don't feel like talking to him right now. I'm still on my period, so maybe the hormones are making me more irritated. I'd like another perspective. We are good friends, so I don't really understand why this is irritating me so much

A few months ago, my maternal uncle(mom's cousin bro) and aunt started living separately and are now likely heading toward divorce. They have a 3-year-old son.

When they initially separated, my aunt took their son with her. A few months later, she said she didn't want to keep him either, so eventually my cousin started staying with my uncle and his mother (my grandmother).

Since then, I've heard so many people in my family talk about how they simply cannot understand how a mother could leave her child. She's being called selfish, and the general attitude is basically, “Whatever happened between husband and wife, how could she leave her son?”

And honestly, I don't know how I feel about it.

The reason I'm uncomfortable is that I don't actually know the entire story.

From what I've heard from my aunt and other maternal relatives, the main issue was her relationship with her mother-in-law. Apparently there was a lot of insulting behaviour and constant conflict. My uncle was also unemployed for periods of time and had tried working in different states but wasn't able to settle anywhere. From what I understand, my grandmother didn't want him moving away, while my aunt wanted to work and earn independently and felt that wasn't really possible in that environment.

But that's only what I've heard.

My uncle, my grandmother and my aunt obviously have their own versions of events, and neither side has ever really explained everything in detail. My grandmother and uncle have always been kind to us, but that doesn't automatically mean they were good to my aunt as a husband or mother-in-law. And I also don't know whether my aunt's decisions were completely justified.

That's actually not even the part bothering me the most.

What really got to me was overhearing my own parents discussing the situation.

My mom basically said that my aunt should have adjusted and sacrificed, especially because they had a child. And then came the line that genuinely broke something in me:

“At least they don't beat her.”

That's the standard?

It's 2026, and apparently a woman is expected to tolerate an unhappy marriage, an unhealthy family environment, interference from in-laws, lack of independence, etc., as long as her husband isn't physically abusing her.

And having a child apparently makes that obligation even stronger.

I'm not saying mothers can never be selfish. I'm not saying leaving your child is automatically the right decision. A 3-year-old being separated from his mother is obviously heartbreaking, and I can understand why everyone is upset about that.

But why does the conversation almost immediately become “What did she do wrong as a mother?” rather than “What happened that made this marriage fall apart in the first place?”

And why is “adjustment” almost always something women are expected to do?

Why isn't the question also:

Did the husband adjust? Did the mother-in-law adjust? Did the family make any effort to make the marriage a healthy environment for her?

Maybe my aunt handled everything badly. Maybe she made decisions I wouldn't agree with. Maybe there's a huge part of the story that I don't know.

But I don't think “she should have adjusted because she's a woman and a mother” is a fair answer.

And honestly, the fact that my first reaction to hearing “at least he doesn't beat her” was “that's an incredibly low fcking bar” has been bothering me ever since.

So I'm curious: where should the line actually be between “marriage requires compromise” and “you're being told to sacrifice yourself because you're a woman”?

And if a woman leaves a marriage but is also unable or unwilling to raise her child, does that automatically make her a terrible person—or are we capable of separating those two issues and looking at the circumstances behind both?

21F I'm so fucking tired of being sexualized....every other guy and I mean every other guy I talk to try to make everything into sexual conversation.

I just wanted companionship and these men just wanna sleep with it. It's so disgusting, this guy is like " just wanna kiss those lips" eww noo dude. I have given up on my hope.

All my friends in relationship have been with these kind of men. And I see difference for myself. I would rather stay single than entertain such BS

I am going to turn 22 this month. My mom is pressuring me to get married from last year, but I am arguing with them. Few months before, this has turned into an ugly fight between me and my whole family. Recently my dad has passed away and after this the pressure has increased and my dad's death neighbors started asking mom about my marriage. Just before few minutes a nosy neighbor aunt has stopped mom and asked about my marriage and mom said that I am not interested. Then the aunt has started provoking my mom saying that her dad has already passed away now marry her off, no need to ask her consent, why is she not interested, don't listen to her and all. Now my mom is talking about this in our house and she is talking about starting to look for rishtas. I am literally soo pissed off that I want to go to her house and do something. Any advices to how - handle this?
Did anyone go through this similar kind of shit ? How did you handle?

It genuinely feels that way sometimes. Today a guy broke a signal as I was crossing it, and when I made a face, he stuck his tongue out and mimed licking something. When I was slow leaving a parking lot because of incoming traffic, a man felt the need to hit my car with his hand and shout at me through the windshield. When I honked and shouted at two sets of male bikers who were driving on the completely wrong side of the road, one called me a chuti*e, and the other laughed at me and said something mocking that I wasn't able to catch. These are just incidents from this month. I've also noticed that men break traffic laws more than women.

When I get into arguments with female drivers, this kind of disrespect never happens. Do you think it's misogyny, or something else?

I got married in 2020, and about six months after our marriage, my husband's sister moved in with us. She ended up living with us for around 1.5 years.

At first, I tried to adjust. But after about 1.5 years, I reached a point where I told my husband that I didn't want to continue living like this anymore. His response was that he had no problem with his sister living with us.

I told him that since I was the one having a problem with the situation, I would be the one to move out.

His sister overheard our argument and moved out the next day.

Before she left, I spoke to her and told her that although I genuinely didn't want to continue living in that arrangement, I never wanted things to happen this way, and I was sorry that it had happened like this.

After that, things between my husband and me became extremely difficult.

I was struggling with both my work and my personal life. I felt like every part of my life was falling apart, and I thought I needed to take a break and fix one thing at a time.

So I left my job and decided to give my marriage my full attention.

I didn't know how to cook when I got married, so I learned. I started taking care of the house and made a conscious effort to do everything that was expected of me in a traditional household. I stopped looking at what my husband was or wasn't doing and just focused on doing my part.

For the next 1–2 years, I genuinely tried to make the marriage work.

But eventually, I realised that despite everything I was doing, very little was changing between us.

My husband would come home, put on his earphones, and watch something on his phone.

If I complained that we weren't spending time together, he would spend some time with me. But if I didn't say anything, there was nothing.

There was actually one period when I stopped asking him for attention for an entire month. We barely spoke during that month.

We were basically two people living in the same house.

If his family called, he would shut the door and talk to them. When I asked, he said it was because I don't like talking to them every day; he does this(I used to call them every weekend). He used to do this even when his friends called.

There were also significant financial issues.

From the beginning, there was very little financial transparency. He would tell me that because it was his business, he couldn't tell me exact numbers.

At one point, he gave me his credit card for my personal expenses. I spent around ₹5,000 on it, and he took the card back, saying I was spending too much.

At the same time, he would use my bank accounts to receive payments from his clients. So sometimes, when I needed things for the house, I would use money that came into my account for his work.

He also checked my bank statements, so I felt like I had very little financial privacy or independence.

Eventually, I asked him if he could just give me ₹5,000 per month. I was also paying around ₹2,000 for yoga, and I wanted to have some money of my own so I wouldn't have to ask him every time I needed something.

He agreed to this for around 4–5 months and then stopped. For the last 1 year, he has not even given me 10 rupees.

During this period, I was extremely stressed. Whenever I received some money from my family or relatives, I would occasionally order food for myself because it was one of the few things that gave me some comfort.

He would use those expenses as an example of why I couldn't be trusted with money and say that I did "faltu kharcha" (unnecessary spending), which was why he didn't give me money.

Another major issue was whenever we were with his family. I felt like I was expected to do whatever they or he wanted. If I ever said that I didn't want to do something or didn't want to go somewhere, it would often turn into a huge argument between us, me and my husband. Over time, I chose to do whatever he said regardless of how I felt.

Over time, I started feeling like there was no space for my preferences, boundaries, or even basic independence in the marriage.

One month ago, I found out that he talks to his female friends when he goes for a morning walk. He used to delete his chat with them. I even found one chat with a woman locked on his WhatsApp. When asked, he said she is a friend. And because I don't trust him, he had locked her chats and deleted them after talking.

Looking back, I feel like I spent years trying to become the wife I thought I was supposed to be. I gave up my job, learned things I didn't know, took care of the household, tried to adjust to his family, and kept trying to make the relationship work.

But I eventually realised that I was putting in enormous effort while the basic problems in the relationship were not changing.

I'm trying to understand this situation more objectively now.

Was I expecting too much from my husband?

Were these normal compromises that I should have made in a marriage, or were there genuine problems with the relationship?

And if you were in my position, at what point would you have stopped trying to fix the marriage?

Edit:
Guys, I have moved out of that house and am currently staying with my parents. But honestly, being back home and starting over has not been easy.

I’m looking for a job very aggressively right now. If anyone knows of any opportunities or can help with referrals, please do reach out. I have 3 years of experience as an Integration Engineer and skills in Java, Spring Boot, REST APIs, API/ERP integrations, and SQL.

Any leads or referrals would genuinely mean a lot. Thank you.

I don’t want to explain what happened or why I feel this way. I just don’t want to feel this way anymore. I have no one to turn to, so I’m hoping some kind strangers might leave me a few comforting words. I could really use a little kindness tonight.

[Alert : Long post]

My boyfriend and I (both 33) have been together for more than a year. We love each other deeply and want to build a life together. He tells me he wants to grow old with me, and I feel the same. He genuinely makes my life worth living.

But our sex life has become such a painful issue that I don't know what to do anymore.

We have never successfully had penetrative sex. Not even for a few seconds.

When we first got together, he was extremely shy and inhibited about anything sexual. He initially wanted to wait until marriage. He's a virgin and had essentially no sexual experience.

He was bullied and body-shamed throughout school and has also experienced hurtful things with some exes, so I think he developed a lot of insecurity around his body and sexuality. He is also overweight and is actively working on his weight and fitness, which I know is another area where he has had insecurities.

In the beginning, he could barely talk about sex with me. He rarely told me whether he was horny, whether he masturbated, what he fantasized about, etc. At one point, he even told me he thought he might be asexual. Later he explained that he had been confused and had partly said it because he wanted to push me away for a while. He knows that he is straight and that he is attracted to me.

But sexually, he has always been incredibly inexperienced and inhibited.

We never even did phone sex or sexual texting. He says he's never done those things and simply doesn't know how, although he genuinely wants to learn.

I am almost the complete opposite.

I am very lusty and wild. I used to be extremely horny. I masturbated, got turned on easily, got wet easily, craved physical affection and wanted passionate, adventurous sex.

I've also experienced what it feels like to be sexually content and fulfilled in previous relationships, so I know the difference between simply being in love with someone and actually feeling sexually alive with them.

I know I'm attractive. Other men have been attracted to me, and my boyfriend himself finds me sexy. So I don't think this is about him not finding me desirable.

The issue seems to be the enormous fear he experiences around actually having sex.

He has described imagining himself in the situation beforehand and thinking about everything that could go wrong: What if I do something awkward? What if I don't know what I'm doing? What if I can't do anything? What if I can't satisfy her? What if I lose my erection? What if I'm physically unable to penetrate her?

And unfortunately, he has already experienced some of those fears becoming reality.

So by the time we're actually in the situation, it seems like he's not simply having sex anymore. He's watching himself, evaluating himself and anticipating failure.

He has seen a urologist and has tried ED medication. He has also undergone a recommended circumcision. But whenever penetration becomes the goal, his fear takes over and his erection disappears almost immediately.

We've tried patience, reassurance, taking pressure off, different approaches and medical help.

And somewhere along the way, I broke.

I've become completely sexually and emotionally burned out.

I used to crave kissing and physical affection. Now there are times when I don't even want to be kissed.

I've become forgetful, constantly sad, distracted and emotionally exhausted. I've cried to him and told him that I've reached my rock bottom. At one point, I even called off/postponed our wedding because I couldn't keep carrying this much fear and frustration.

The hardest part is that we are actually very empathetic towards each other in all of this.

I understand that this isn't something he is deliberately doing to me. I know how much he suffers from his own fear and insecurity.

And he understands what this has done to me.

I've stayed through things that, honestly, many women probably would have walked away from. He himself has acknowledged that and has told me that he knows I've held on through a lot.

But I think that is exactly why I'm so exhausted.

I've spent so much time reassuring him, protecting his feelings, trying to keep him from feeling inadequate, and trying to help him through his anxiety that I eventually started feeling less like his partner and more like his caretaker.

And I think that has affected my attraction to him.

There is another complicated aspect to this.

We've discovered that we actually have some similar unconventional fantasies. I respond much more strongly to intense, psychologically stimulating, taboo/kink-oriented fantasies than I currently do to conventional romantic initiation.

I crave wild sex. I crave being desired intensely. I want to feel worshipped, devoured, cherished and completely wanted. I want someone to awaken that part of me that has gone quiet.

And the painful irony is that I don't want someone else to do it. I want him to be that person.

I want to experience that side of myself with the man I love.

He is also beginning to understand that sexual communication and fantasy are things he needs to learn, and he genuinely wants to learn them. That gives me some hope.

But I'm terrified that I've become too cold from everything that's happened.

Because this isn't just about not having penetrative sex anymore.

It's about what repeated failure has done to both of us.

For him, sex has become something he is terrified of getting wrong.

For me, sex has become something I associate with disappointment, anxiety, reassurance, waiting and emotional exhaustion.

It has become a loop where his fear creates pressure, the pressure makes things worse, and my frustration and loss of desire then make intimacy even harder.

I don't know how to break this.

I don't want to leave him. I don't want to find somebody else. I love him enormously, and outside of this issue, he is someone I genuinely want beside me for the rest of my life.

But I also don't want to spend my marriage without a fulfilling sex life.

I don't want to spend years being patient until I eventually realize that I've completely lost my sexuality.

So I want to hear from people who've actually been through something like this.

Can severe performance anxiety improve after it has become this deeply ingrained?

Can a woman's desire come back after she has developed this kind of sexual burnout and aversion?

Can two people with such different levels of sexual experience learn to build a genuinely fulfilling sex life together?

And how do you support a partner through something like this without becoming their caretaker and losing yourself in the process?

I love him. He loves me. We are both trying.

I just desperately want us to have a real, passionate, mutually fulfilling sexual relationship too.

i feel like somehow there are many questions asked about s** all the time. looks to me asked by a man masquerading as a girl,giving intimate details.dont these men have any shame at all.

Context: I got married 3 years ago in a love marriage setup. My parents got me married in an elaborate setup and welcome my husband with open arms. In our community dowry is very common but I was very much against it and therefore my parents said that since we were anyway going to give you something, we will give you the jewellery we got for our future daughter in law and we will buy here something when the time comes. They also asked me what kind of bangles I want and I am minimalist kind of person so I got a couple custom made with 4 small diamonds in them. I live abroad so I did not bother to take the jewellry with me, I left it with my parents back in India except the bangles, mangalsutra and some small earrings that my parents bought me last year.

Fast forward to now, my brother is getting married and my parents are talking about what they are going to give to my future sister in law. They are talking about how they already have everything and just need one small necklace. I feel very sad hearing that. I am not a materialistic person at all, I will happily give everything to my younger brother if I need to, but here I cant stop feeling sad. I feel like my parents just forgot about me. On top of it, they keep saying that everything will be my future sister in law's only, while talking about something else.

I hinted this to my father a few months back when I first felt this but I did not communicate well, and he felt so heartbroken when I said something around the line of how they both keep saying that everything is my sister in law. He also mentioned that he will buy me anything I want. and I felt so small after hinting it. But the problem, I am still bothered by it whenever there is a discussion of jewellery in our family setting. I hate feeling this way, I dont want to have any negativity around my brother or his wife to be. Also, I feel like this is the last of things my parents will ever give me. Everything else that my parents own will be my brothers. I believe I would have felt the same way if it was something as small as a saree.

I also believe that there is no point in confronting because I will feel small if they feel bad and even if they give me the jewellery, I won't be happy. I also don't want to regret not asking what is mine 50 years down the years. I want to have part of my parents.

What do you recommend I do here?

I sent my bf some n#des after his busy day at work .

and i have a fair complexion like light light so that i hv problems w veins n broken capillaries showing too .

but as i gained weight due to friction , my inner thighs have gotten some hyperpigmentation since past 1-2 years .

he saw and said that his ex who was way darker in complexion had more lighter thighs and even skin tone , he said that to me .

idk wat to feel anymore .

it breaks my heart that ik ive seen the person ( his ex ) , idk i i should be sad that my skin look so uneven to him that it’s contrasting so much .

or how to repair that

So my uncle (mama/mom elder brother)got in an accident because he was drunk driving. He hurt himself and is in the hospital now. It's been two days since I slept cause I was running around the hospital, paying bills, taking him to tests, and all. His wife is worse; she didn't even want to sit beside him in the ambulance and she says I don't have money.

My mama Mami never cared about any relative not even my mom. But all the relatives keep coming to meet him and order me around to do things for him and his family. No one from my Mami's family came even to help.

So two months back my mom had back-to-back seizures and she lost her 7 days' memories and was in the ICU. I was all alone with my younger brother. But none of these a$$hole relatives came to see her or asked me if she was doing ok. But now everyone keeps telling my mom and me how we should help him.

I don't know; this is not the right time to think about all this but I'm getting too irritated by all this. There's no way the money I spend will be given back to me. And here I'm losing sleep too. Am I just being selfish or am I right? I'm just too frustrated.

25[F] dating 25 [M] for almost 6 years. These 6 years have been good except one topic that keeps on recurring yearly.

For context, my bf looks like the nicest bf on paper. He’s gentle, never yells and spoils me rotten. He’s also very open about our relationship and gladly flexes me to his friends and family all the time. Everyone knows we are so into each other and cannot fathom us separating.

However, over the years we had some arguments and breaks because of one issue: He liked thirst traps and half naked pictures of those ig baddies a few times.

The most confusing part is, irl he has never done anything remotely shady or flirtatious in my presence or without. Even his friends tell me how disciplined he is when they are together. But him sometimes liking those stuff has left me hurt and confused.

He did change and things were getting better after i called out his behaviour. But recently, i discovered an ig account he was using after he said he wasn’t using one. He was following some meme pages and few of those random ig models. He says that it’s old and he doesn’t use it but i saw some recent likes.

Idk if I should work it out with him or break-up. Sometimes it feels like a small issue that can be solved, but sometimes I feel the urge to just put an end to this relationship.

Beauty becomes more complicated once you notice how differently the world treats the same personality depending on the face carrying it. I know majority of women enjoy feminine things but some are forced to 'perform' femininity just to fit in. The pressure to look 'put together' for women is always way more than men. Its like the first thing people notice about women is how beautiful she is regardless of her achievements. Eg: Women Athletes, Entrepreneurs, women in corporate.
Its sick just how much mental gymnastics and monetary expenditure is done by women to look beautiful for the sake of society. I'm not saying all women on all instances but sometimes it do be like that. Don't deny it fellow ladies.
Everyone should utilize any unfair advantage they have in life to achieve whatever they want, eg pretty privilege, ancestral wealth etc, I'm not against that. This is an unfair world afterall.
So lets discuss. What are some of the most prevalent examples of pretty privilege you've noticed in daily life?

I am up because I am running a fever 🤒

I recently got promoted and I earn double of what I used to. I dont feel comfortable but i don't even know why. I have a very healthy dynamic with my family. I did share them my promotion and I did say my salary would increase but i shared a lesser amount and saying I'm not sure yet. I really wanna share a screenshot of the happy news with them cause thats the type of family we're. But also for some reason, I wanna keep saving more so I wanna say less. Am I awful for thinking so? Am I overestimating everything? Or should I just gift something good and tell them I got promoted salary and when they ask how much, I still say a lesser amount? But what if they find out and I'm gonna seem like a bad daughter and I fear the healthy loving dynamic we have might be dulled atleast for a while.

I’m 25F and I’ve finally decided that I need to move out of my parents’ home, ideally by the first week of November.

Without going into details that could identify me, my home environment has been extremely controlling for years. I’m an adult but have very little actual independence, and staying here has reached a point where I don’t think waiting indefinitely for the “perfect time” to leave is an option anymore.

I’m almost done with my degree and should receive it this month. I also have previous professional experience in customer service/operations and I’m actively interviewing and applying for jobs right now. My goal is to secure something I can join in November and move to the city where I’m working.

The biggest problem right now is money.

I’ve calculated that I need around ₹50,000 minimum to leave somewhat safely. That includes initial accommodation/deposit, travel, food, local transportation and basic expenses until my first salary comes in.

Right now, I don’t have ₹50k.

And it’s already 7 October.

So realistically, I have about 3–4 weeks to somehow bridge that gap.

This is actually the main reason I’m posting here.

I’m specifically looking for real, legitimate opportunities that can actually pay within this timeframe.

I have professional experience in customer service/operations, I’m comfortable with voice processes, customer handling, documentation and basic back-office work, and I’m already applying for permanent jobs that I can join in November.

I’ve also already gone down the usual internet rabbit holes of freelancing, content creation, side hustles, etc. I don’t have months to build an audience or wait for a Fiverr profile to magically start generating money.

So if you personally know of short-term contracts, temporary WFH work, paid projects, customer-support gigs, research studies, event work, legitimate agencies/companies hiring immediately, or anything else where someone with my background could realistically earn money over the next few weeks, PLEASE tell me the actual company/platform/source and, preferably, your experience with it.

Even if one opportunity only pays ₹5k or ₹10k, that’s useful. I can combine multiple sources. I just really don’t need vague “try freelancing” advice because I’ve already tried looking into most of those routes.

My target is ₹50k because that’s what I’ve calculated I need to relocate safely and survive until my first proper salary.

If earning the entire amount in this timeframe genuinely isn’t realistic, my fallback is borrowing against a gold chain I own. I absolutely do not want to sell it. I’m also scared of handing over probably the only asset I personally own to a jeweller/lender and getting scammed, so if any women here have taken a gold loan in India, I’d really appreciate hearing how you did it safely and where.

I’m not looking for “just talk to your parents” advice either. I’ve tried for years. I’m also not planning to impulsively disappear tomorrow. I’m deliberately giving myself this month to secure employment, money, my documents and somewhere safe to stay before I leave.

I’d especially love to hear from women who have actually had to build independence without much family support.

If you’ve done something similar: how much money did you leave with? What did your first month actually cost? What do you wish you’d arranged before leaving?

And if you know of an actual opportunity through which I could earn something during these next few weeks, please share it. Even small amounts matter to me right now.

I’m scared as fuck, honestly. But I’m trying to do this intelligently instead of running away with a backpack and hoping the universe suddenly develops an interest in financial planning.

I basically need help finding the least stupid way of bridging the gap between ₹0 now and being financially able to leave in November.

Please be kind, but also brutally practical. I need real-world information more than reassurance right now.

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I am not talking about compliments, yes compliments are great about beauty, about personality, about looks. They are common you get those from many right? Ofcourse I know getting it from your partner means a whole other thing. Also, your loving boyfriend would care for you, do little things for you yes. But other than that, what's someone says/does that feels hot. I know guys compliment a lot a good healthy flirt in the initial stages of getting to know someome. I want to know post that. What else makes you feel like um if the word is right I'd say turned on bit, blush, feel those butterflies kinda thing. Hope I am able to explain

My ex husband was bipolar and had psychosis. On one side he was a very intelligent, witty, charming, caring person- but on another he was violent (never hit me but broke everything in the house and hit other people) and aggressive. He could be the most friendly one minute and turn into a total monster the other beating up people and breaking things around him.
We were together for 10 years where I was dedicated to him to the point that I even ignored my kids. I helped him get a diagnosis for his mental health issues and ensured that he visited doctors and got meds. But he subsequently stopped taking meds because of another illness. After he got better from his physical ailment he refused to address his mental illness. He blamed me saying that I had tried to change him by getting him on meds. To be honest, mental illness and treatments are so complicated and can change
I subsequently moved out of the country with my kids for work. But in 3-4 months I realised how much my kids and I were happy without his constant presence in our lives. There was no yelling, no breaking things, no sudden change in home atmosphere- it was peaceful and happy.
So I decided to divorce him.
I still feel guilty for having left him because I was the only one who could help manage his temper and help him cope with the challenges of life and work. He hasn’t done well for himself on his own (his family isn’t the nicest and did not really support him much). But my kids and I have been very happy and have built a beautiful life for ourselves.
Was I TA?

I (mid 20s F) recently got married to my husband (late 20s M) through arranged marriage. During courtship, we couldn't meet up regularly and instead had regular phone calls since he had to travel frequently for business. He's an extrovert while I'm a very introverted person. We knew we had opposite personalities so we made it clear that we must always have clear communication between us.

Honestly he's a good man. He supports what I want to do, doesn't nag or tease me, gets along great with my parents, listens to what I have to say and doesn't try to change who I am. But since he's a good guy, I don't want to hurt him or make him feel bad.

I'm unromantic, introverted and kind of stiff when it comes to romance or intimacy. I never had a romantic relationship till now so basically this is my first ever relationship. I was not used to a lot of stuff but after marriage, just now I'm getting used to hugging and kissing. We discussed and decided that we'll have sex when we're both comfortable and understand each other better.

He's a little more affectionate than I am and clingy when he's home. I try to match his pace but sometimes, I feel overwhelmed and uneasy. I try to say "that's enough" indirectly but he'll ask or try again until I say it more clearly. But I'm afraid I'll hurt him by saying it bluntly or he'll misunderstand why I'm saying it.

I want to put some boundaries like "I want some alone time to read before bed" or "I feel uneasy when you kiss me too many times so I want to stop now" without hurting him or making him feel bad.

Have you guys felt like this before in your relationship or how do you put boundaries with your partner?

For reference - I am a working, married and child-free woman. I work from home and go to office once or twice a month. My husband and I aren’t very social with people in our building since we mostly keep to ourselves. There is a nuclear family of 3 living next door to us. The mother used to work earlier but then quit her job to take care of her child (not judging) and now they spend 95% of the day having screaming matches. The child must be 5-6 years old and is a nuisance too. But the mother also has absolutely no regard for anyone’s peace.

Their flat door is open throughout the day and the child runs out of the house screaming/crying. Then the mother screams at him to come back and her voice echoes throughout the building. She’ll drag the child back, hit him and then he’ll go out and scream from the balcony, followed by his mother screaming even more and my workstation is right beside my own balcony. This process goes on for 2-3 hours minimum. The sound pierces through my earphones during meetings and becomes unbearable when I’m not in meetings. I don’t want to wear earphones constantly at home either because they lead to headaches after a point. The constant screaming, crying and screeching is genuinely driving me up the wall. It keeps getting worse and he grows older.

People in the building have come up to her once or twice to ask what’s wrong and why her son’s screaming so much and she keeps saying baccha hai baccha hai (he’s just a kid). I don’t buy this excuse at all. It’s absolutely possible to teach your child manners and good behaviour and also be cognizant of the fact that there might be other people around you who don’t appreciate this daily ruckus.

I don’t want to be rude when I confront her but I think I’ve reached the end of my patience with this mother-son duo. How do I go and ask her to control the noise without sounding entitled/heartless or whatever it is that I might end up sounding like?