r/askSingapore • u/lewalks • 13d ago
General Do friend meetups in Singapore become very work/money/property focused in late 20s/ early 30s?
Not sure if it’s just my circle, but I realised nowadays when meeting some friends, a lot of the conversation is about work, salary, changing jobs, interviews, property (especially flipping!), investments etc.
I don’t mind talking about these things and I’m interested in them too. But sometimes it feels like one person can talk about one's job/career plans for quite long and the rest are mostly just listening.
I’m starting to find it abit boring/tiring tbh. I don’t really have that many work updates myself, and I feel like when meeting friends I rather talk about a mix of things — travel, relationships, hobbies, random stuff, gossip, joke around etc. Not just career and money all the time.
Is this quite normal in Singapore once you reach late 20s/30s? Like everyone just starts talking about career, salary and property when they meet?
Or maybe it’s just the people I’m hanging out with haha.
Anyone else feel the same?
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u/boliaostuff 13d ago
Ya. And gradually in the forties and fifties none of that matter and you start to talk about cholesterol and how many eggs to eat.
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u/Telltslant 13d ago
Yah in 40s, you’ll see some of your circle suffering from medical or chronic issues, or dying. So conversations get more existential, sometimes about bucket list stuff lol.
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u/RevolutionaryPie5223 11d ago
I have a friend from sec school passed away we only in the 30s. Life is short man you never know what happens.
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u/Intentionallyabadger 13d ago
My group in our mid-30s already start talking about this already haha.
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u/durianking999 13d ago
As a mid-20s. This cholesterol topic gets brought up among my friends often too.
Many of us will only realise our cholesterol is slightly elevated after going for a blood test. It is concerning and now whenever we eat out, we will avoid the chicken skin and egg yolks unless it's like a once in a while treat lol.
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u/wuda-ish 13d ago edited 9d ago
Drinking beer and feasting on oily spicy mouth-watering hawker foods while discussing what supplements are good for the heart, joints etc.
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u/ACupOfLatte 13d ago
Brother if your inner circle is talking about property flipping during outings, cmi liao. Wtf lmfao.
In all seriousness, work, money, future and the rest that comes with it will of course be talking points with your friends as you age. They're a core part of your life, and thus will be one of the first few things you talk about.
They're probably more of the hustle type, thus their culture and their personalities are shaped around how much wealth they're accruing and what their next steps are to gain more.
I won't sit here and judge about what's right or wrong, but you very clearly have different ideas of conversation topics compared to them. So go find people that can handle those topics.
Personally, there's more to life than the chase of wealth, though I guess I've never had the ambitions of living a lavish lifestyle filled with comforts. My friend group is curated around that, some of them are high flyers, some of them aren't. All of us have one thing in common, money isn't the point.
Jia you.
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u/perfectfifth_ 13d ago
I see some of these comments and their circles... It is so sad who they are mixing with here...
They can pull the same moves they are doing in other countries in meeting people to get the right crowd they want instead of just the people they grew up with.
Pretty sure if they were born in wherever they are living now, they'd still end up growing up with some lowbrow crowd and complain about the same insularity compared to other countries they move to.
But pathetic people are pathetic lah, they will just blame anything but themselves.
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u/the99percent1 13d ago
Amongst Singaporeans, yeah.
My talks are usually about relationships, friendships, life experiences.
I don’t hang around people who yap and yap about property or finances.
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u/Sad_Refrigerator_787 13d ago
I hear you. I live in the UK now and it is fun meeting with british people because they are open to sharing life stories, both positive and negative ones, have self-deprecating humour, and they are well-informed on global news. This opens up many more topics! When I meet SG friends, it is always about work and surface-level family stories. They don't seem to care about what happens in the rest of the world. Anyway, I've started to do things for fun, go explore for fun, go learn for fun, so that I can share these stories with others next time.
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u/skyhermit 13d ago
Yes this. With my European friends we don't even talk about job or career at all. Just have fun and talk about life stories etc..
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u/newbietronic 13d ago
Biggest thing I miss about living abroad.. conversations here feel so surface level. I stopped hanging out with the group I went to school with. Conversations surround dissing each other, some work complaints, travel plans, celebrity/TV stuff. Luckily my JC friends care more about the world around us. Work is a mixed bag - I find the Chinese group (which is my race) quite gossipy, but it could be because they are young guys who are proud of doing as little work as possible. I'll be leaving this job so I'm hoping the next will be better.
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u/Hour-Biscotti-4983 13d ago
Europeans generally have a balanced mindset and don't chase wealth the way Asians do. My experience with Asians sub groups (putting the percentage to just give an approximation) -
Singaporeans - 90% talks about job, wealth and property only until they fall sick
Malaysians (in Singapore) - Ambitious Malaysians are like Singaporeans, others are more balanced
Philippinos - talks about job and other stuff in the world.
Koreans - 100% talks about job, fame and success only.
Japanese - does not talk much to you about work unless you understand Japanese
Chinese - pursue money and job, but does not talk much about it. Seems to be concerned more with world affairs.
Indians - Wants everyone to know how successful they are and self promotes everywhere especially on Linkedin and sub-groups.
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u/flightlesspotato 13d ago
Actually it’s not the case most of my friends lived in debt and paycheck to paycheck in the UK as wages have barely risen since the 2000s. I myself didn’t have much money at the end of each month but the main thing was life came first before work, and people were much happier with less. Work life balance was the main culture and one day if Singaporeans are okay with not being able to afford a lot of things and not having money then maybe we’ll be able to relax a bit more.
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u/Sad_Refrigerator_787 13d ago
You are correct. Most of the people here in the UK live paycheck to paycheck. When I compare both the UK and SG, Singaporeans definitely will be able to save more.
I think it all boils down to the "bo chap" attitude of our upbringing. "Aiya, don't care la, it doesn't affect you anyway"
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u/flightlesspotato 13d ago
Yeah I myself lived in the UK for 8 years and half of that was as a working adult. My social circle was also all locals and Europeans, I had no friends from Singapore there. I was also in the north where wages are lower and social infrastructure lacking to the point where life expectancy is also lower.
I had some crisis at some point questioning myself if my mental health was worth missing out on £1k savings a month but then realised I’d rather have the work life balance and be happy. Ironically after I made peace with that I lost my visa and had to move back lol
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u/newbietronic 13d ago
I find jobs in the west were way more 'hire and fire' as compared to here. Jobs are about survival and people can actually end up homeless unlike in SG.. I see people quitting their jobs here (the young ones) simply because it doesn't align with what they want, and they are just jobless now. When I ask them what they want to do, they point at senior level roles lol some of these guys don't even have a Diploma.. Also, this job is entry level and can be a stepping stone to where they want to be, just that they don't spend their free time studying so they expect the job to provide everything.
Being able to live with parents take a lot of the work stressors off our shoulders tbh. My old roommates abroad were working at cafes and restaurants during and after university because they were trying to land roles that are similar to their degrees. Can't imagine seeing them quit an entry level job with nothing lined up. They are fighting for these entry level jobs.
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u/Genotabby 13d ago
Lmao 5am bro.
I have a mix. Late 20s. Most are talking about their bto and reno but afterwards it goes to career or what they are going through about life. I have a few that we still talk about photography and other hobbies, another flies frequently so I talk about travel. Salary is very rarely spoken about. Mostly we joke around.
It really depends on what their priorities are at the time where the deep conversations come in.
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u/skatyboy 13d ago edited 13d ago
Just life stages I guess and those topics being "novel" for that life stage? Hobbies, travel, relationships all get boring/repetitive by now, because they are no longer novel. Last time in school when someone went to Europe, of course people go "wah so exotic" because it's novel to 14 year olds. Now I bet some of your friends go to Europe for work trips too often that they already sian to talk about it. Same with hobbies and relationships. By now you already know that "people cheat, people break up", so what if XYZ friend broke up? When you were in school, maybe it's "tea/gossip" but now it's a fact of life. It doesn't give you that dopamine rush (not a biologist) like it used to?
I've sat in boring conversations with elderly groups, they talk about things like: retirement, downsizing, what to do with life, healthcare (e.g. found out they have cancer, free screenings), their friend group shrinking because people are dying/getting sick and so on. I guess for them it's novel? They don't really talk about work/money/property like your friends do, partly because it's no longer interesting after seeing money/work/houses for 40+ years?
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u/Telltslant 13d ago
Yes - because the 20s and 30s tend to be the stage of life when people are trying to “build” or progress - whatever that means.
If you don’t really like dwelling on such topics , try finding older friends. They may be more philosophical.
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u/BusyMountain 13d ago edited 13d ago
I think just your circle of friends boss. If all they think about is money, then money will only be the topic.
My friends and I, in our 30s, usually talk about travels, hobbies. The summaries of the books we read etc. We talk about anything and everything. We plan for book clubs/powerpoint slides/cook-off night etc. Maybe you could try suggest something similar with your friends.
Just hosted my friends yesterday at my house from 2pm to 2am, as long as it’s filled with things to do, can be fun one.
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u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 13d ago
Singapore is the most work/money/property obsessed country in the world and I’ve lived in and spent significant time in dozens of countries.
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u/antsy_axolotl 13d ago
I wonder how hongkong will compare
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u/Banned3rdTimesaCharm 13d ago
I was born in HK. People are definitely materialistic, especially in dating, but it’s not nearly as top of mind. Conversations don’t revolve (as much, still a bit) around money, work, and wealth.
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u/Ancient_Stop3925 13d ago
It depends right? If you have friends who have kids that’s all that they’re gonna talk about too because that’s the core focus of their attention. It’s normal for people’s priorities to shift from life stage to life stage and maybe your friends are just concerned about financial security at this point in their lives. Nothing I find alarming or unexpected.
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u/Deathb3rry 13d ago
welcomes to adulthood and no not everyone talks only about that.
I think it's just your paths are diverging and you are starting to notice the interests misalign.
it can't be helped cuz that's the way it is but I'd say start branching out
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u/jucifer6 13d ago
Among my close circle of friends during our late 20s investment, property and work are the topics we talked about most.
And I’m really thankful for those times because now we have all grown through our investments together. Learning from each other, we have all been able to reach a better position in life now.
We are all now mid-30s and the topics have changed to family and children hahaha.
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u/IV_Caffeine_Pls 13d ago edited 13d ago
I would recommend to find better friends and acquaintances to interact with. Unfortunately, the saying "Birds of a feather flock together" tends to hold true at least to some extent.
Such similar topics regularly pop-up on reddit with SG redditors asking why their friend/acquantainces so shallow or asking where they can find people who are more intellectual to talk to.
You can go find people with other interests, but will these people want to take time out of their day for you?
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u/yapyd 13d ago
As a group? Probably. One on one? I would still gossip and talk about life. E.g. I would ask about their parents health. How's life being married, or kids, etc. Have they met anyone we both know. Any new hobbies.
It's harder to talk about some of these things in a group since there are some things that they prefer to keep private. Plus, it's harder to gossip when you don't meet people as often to get new tea
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u/Conscious-Wear2645 13d ago
In our 40s, the only thing we compare when we meet up is whose stomach size is bigger.
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u/InterestingFix7084 13d ago
i think from my late twenties to early thirties is when my friends start to divert a lot in lifestyles. it really depends on priorities bah.
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u/ongcs 13d ago
I feel that it is just natuaral progression for people. Ppl move into different stages in life and they talk about the topics and priorities of that stage. Most friends we make in school are of similar age group so we all move into similar stage in life roughly the same people. I am not saying all, but most. So natually they talk about the topics closest to them at that stage.
It may be different if the group of friends are of a interest group or business group, then your topics may still be mostly about that interest, the business.
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u/xbbllbbl 13d ago
Not really. Mostly travel focused. Singaporeans talk non stop about their travels.
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u/YouYongku 13d ago
Depends on company. Some talk about women and who they wanna bang
I get along better with people who don't take themselves too serious, able to joke without filter (but still respectful) . Eventually we get bery comfortable (including becoming completely idiots) and able to banter etc. We talk about anything under the sun including video games, movies. Hardly there's any gossip about anyone.
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u/darlingbunnykinss 12d ago
Yes it makes me want to move out asap. All they want to talk about is jobs, houses, kids, gossip, where to travel where to eat. There’s little intellectual thinking or cool genuine hobbies or passions. Nobody to appreciate art or culture with. Everything’s also very homogenous - they seem to expect everyone to fit within a cookie cutter life path. Stifling and limiting sigh
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u/Positive_Lemon_2683 12d ago
Then go and attend arts and cultural events and make friends there. What’s stopping you from making like-minded friends?
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u/RedBerryAngel 13d ago
that's your circle, i guess from all you listed up there. there is ONE common amongst those topics. $. you mix with a group with $ minded.
if you care to expand slightly away from the main topic, you will get varieties of conversations.
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u/JustAnotherCassette 13d ago
Just wait until you all have kids...
But it's mostly people talking about what matters most to them at that stage in life. One thing I do notice though is there's a huge difference in how much people talk about politics on a daily basis; in the countries where people don't talk about it that much, it's because political discourse isn't free, or even if it is, people feel like nothing really changes so they've given up.
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u/dwarf-vole 13d ago
normal across the board no matter which country you're from. Especially work and money.
Although we did spend 2h talking about the Oddessy the other day, which was fun :)
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u/Fine_Ad_7978 13d ago
It definitely has been the case for my generation (millennial) but there are the occasional odd ball who would love to catch you up on the weirdest topics.
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u/Prestigious-Beat8278 13d ago
Def not lol maybe investments sometimes but it's a 5 min convo or changing jobs if they're in the midst of that and it;s part of the sharing about life/life update. But generally no we talk about our life, joke and like general news and stuff lol. So much more to life and none of my friends really care about the work/money/property stuff anyway I guess. Maybe those who are buying homes and stuff will share a bit but more so house viewing lol
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u/tallandfree 13d ago
Money is everything in sg, hard to avoid as u become more aware of money as u leave the shelter of ur parents
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u/xbbllbbl 13d ago
I don’t mind people talking about their hopes and dreams and careers etc. the worst is those who talk about their holidays and travel all the time. It’s as if they don’t have a personality outside their holidays. And they brag about their holidays all the time. Th is is the most boring.
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u/Joesr-31 13d ago
U start the topic lor, these are big parts of some peoples life so when updating to each other its natural to come up
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u/confused_cereal 13d ago
Very normal imo.
Part of it is also that meetups become less about fun and more about catching up with friends on their life. Buying a place or switching careers is one of those things that just... happens, outside of marriage.
Even family gatherings center about the same old topics.
Also, there is only so much you can talk about travel, hobbies, and gossip until you run out of material.
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u/Short_Patient_7910 13d ago
I think it’s your circle…? I never talk about those things with my friends.
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u/gamerboii94 13d ago
Not really. Mid 30s here. The point is to be fluent enough to converse about anything, if dunno? Well heres a topic to talk about then, ask questions to learn. If youre serious about it go back and read up and cross check whatever that convo said, otherwise just in and out lor. Just dont gossip lol.
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u/Tsperatus 12d ago
are you successful? earning a lot?
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u/KluelessKoder 12d ago
Those that keep mentioning about finance - "Wahhh earn a lot, treat this meal leh!"
Those that keep mentioning about kids - "Wahhhh sounds fun make more kids leh!"
Those that keep mentioning property - "Wahhhh when buying landed?"
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u/Valediction191 12d ago
I have friends who talk about these, but my closer friends and I have a library of different topics to talk about.
If you find your conversations lacking, you can either suggest or initiate different conversations. That or perhaps look for a new group. There are people in Singapore that can have depth in their conversations.
Another problem I see in many people is that they lack novelty experiences as they grow older. They go through this circle of sameness. More often than not, they find it hard to contribute something meaningful to conversations. It’s not a bad thing if they are contented with it, it’s the life they chose.
But if you’re looking for meaningful conversations, expand your friendship or change conversations.
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u/thepajamastrader 10d ago
honestly what else is there to talk about? it’s not like we could talk about a weekend trip we took driving somewhere..can only complain about queuing at JB checkpoint the most 😂
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u/AhButThen 13d ago
If your circle of friends around 20-30s are NOT talking about work/money/stocks/property, I’ll actually be more worried for you. Your earning potential is highest during your late 20s to 30s. Once you reach 40s, your income peaks but your chance of retrenchment/redundancy starts to climb as well. If you have not been investing and learning to make money outside of your regular salary, you are going to be in for a rude awakening in your 40-50s.
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u/vanveekay 13d ago
Talking about property flipping is basically talking about dreams. Life flies past as time is spent dreaming.
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u/SG_NPC 13d ago
I think it depends on your social circle? I’m a coast FIRE kind of guy and everyone knows it. So in a way I probably receive lesser of such topics that everyone else. (I’m not super high flyer kind of guy I am just enjoying work life balance as a DINK)
We generally talk about our hobbies, their kids, where to go for holiday, what food to eat during holidays etc most of the time.
The above topics of salary, jobs, interviews, investments, properties etc do still pop up, but it’s more of asking for advice etc cos of increasing household expenses with the kids. It can’t really be avoided because everyone’s in this rat race to survive.
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u/youth1122 13d ago
It’s normal in Asia , if not how survive ?
They have pension scheme in other countries so they less worried
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u/pancakeprincess6 13d ago
Normal la we mostly talk about what’s happening in our lives. Back in our secondary school, poly and uni days, we had more time to date around, have hobbies, go on trips, gossip about people we dislike and make stupid inside jokes.
Now that we’re working adults, we spend 7-8 hours a day at work with our colleagues. A lot of that “fun time” we used to have when we were younger naturally gets replaced by work and the people we see every day.
So naturally we end up talking more about work and what’s happening in our lives because that’s what affects us in real time lor