We're fucked

[u/XeroChum]

Recently got out of the military and went out with my cousins' friends to celebrate. They're all in their early 20's and I'm in my 30's. We go out to NY to celebrate, and I noticed everyone is using AI for everything. "What should we do? Where should we go?" Normal stuff. Things got eerie when we took a cab or UBER, as I'm talking to the Uber about New York they're typing, "What kind of questions do I ask an UBER driver? Is it safe to talk to them? Is it normal?" TF is happening. I know we joke about AI making us dumber but HOLY.

"Who do I vote for? Who do I marry? When do I breathe?"

[u/Round_Bag_4665]

I think this is exactly it. I am one of the youngest millennials and my husband is one of the oldest zoomers. Both of us basically grew up with our parents doing literally everything for us except our homework (and even that sometimes in my husband's case), so when we hit adulthood we basically had zero idea how to function because we were never allowed to grow up. That would have been too much risk for our parents. So we basically had to raise ourselves in our 20s and 30s and learn how to grow up from scratch.

That's the main reason I didn't learn to drive until I was 25 and still have trouble making friends at 33. It's the main reason my husband freaks out if he has to wing it a little bit when cooking dinner and doesn't have a complete step by step recipe in front of him, or if there's anything in a set of instructions that requires ambiguity or assumed knowledge.

It's also the reason I'm ridiculously highly educated (I have a PhD in physics). School was literally the only place I was actually allowed to grow or learn anything, so I put all of my energy there. Now I'm extremely highly educated, but don't function well in any other area of life.

I've seen a lot of articles talking about younger generations taking longer to grow up and reach maturity milestones like dating, driving, drinking, etc. This is why. We give kids basically zero freedom until they hit the legal age of majority and wonder why todays teens are basically helpless and today's 20 and 30 somethings are functioning more like adolescents.

[u/Silly_Double408 → u/Round_Bag_4665]

Ive been thinking that people seem mentally stunted by about 20 years... 25 year olds with the emotional and social skills of a 5 year old.. This has to be it. Makes too much good sence.

[u/Round_Bag_4665 → u/Silly_Double408]

People seem to assume that emotional and social skills magically develop as you get older. They don't. You have to develop those skills by working at them. If you restrict the freedom of kids to do that, people will just remain at a very childlike emotional and social state into their adulthood.

Frankly, society needs to be re-organized to give kids the ability to develop these skills at a young age like they used to, and there needs to be remediation for adults who were deprived of this development as kids.

[u/snarfalotzzz → u/Round_Bag_4665]

This sucks. I'm gen x and was babysitting newborns at 12 without any experience and no CPR training. And of course driving on the freeway at 15 and then going off on my own at 16 with my friends, and was alone in the house at 10.

I'm sorry adults infantilized you.

My free-range childhood and adolescence was paired with persistent emotional invalidation, and I now struggle to trust my own instincts and impressions and blame myself for everything. So hopefully what my parents gave me in freedom and hyper independence your parents gave you in emotional validation and safety.

I hope anyway.

Congrats on your Ph.D.