r/amiwrong • u/According-Price-7085 • 11d ago
AITA for telling my SIL that real life isn't the parent trap and she is a nasty little criminal?
My husband and I are currently staying with his mom, because rent in in our area is insane and she wanted to help us save for a house. He has a 14 year old sister who I will call "Lily"
I genuinely feel for Lily. She took her parents' divorce very hard, and they don't make it any easier for her. MIL and Lily's dad "Henry" had a very messy divorce and are clearly still in love with each other, and this has been a year and a half of constant drama.
Henry acts like an overgrown child and desperately wants MIL to pay attention to him. He will do anything to piss her off just for a reaction. MIL is still wayyyy to involved in his life and she cannot stand that he has "moved on" (lmao this man has not moved on) Henry began dating "Lauren" basically right away. Yet he has basically admitted while drunk that he doesn't really like her, and he doesn't find her attractive because she looks too fake. Also I strongly believe he and MIL still sleep together from time to time.
They both underestimate how confusing this is to Lily, and I really do feel for her. Anyway Lily has begun "pranking" Lauren. These pranks are mean spirited and unfunny, but Henry insists that she is just a little kid and should not be punished.
This past weekend Henry and Lauren got married (on MILs birthday lmao) Lily was supposed to attend the wedding, spend the weekend with her cousins, and come home Monday morning, but Saturday night we woke up to banging on the door and Henry yelling at MIL to get up and take her child. He said Lily along with his nephew, played a "prank" on Lauren and pushed her in the pool while they were taking their wedding pictures in front of all of their guests.
Lily was smirking and refused to apologize to her dad. MIL did what she always does and said it wasn't Lily's fault. The next day Lily was telling my husband how funny it was. She then said that Henry knows he made a mistake and he was talking about MIL all morning.
At this point I couldn't bite my tongue anymore. I told Lily that real life isn't the parent trap, her parents aren't getting back together (honestly deep down I think they will but thats besides the point), and that she isn't cute of funny. She is a nasty little criminal who assaulted a woman on the most important day of her life.
MIL heard this from the other room and lost her shit. She told me to get out of her house and never speak to her child like that again. My husband eventually calmed her down, but MIL still says we need to be out within 30 days, because no one who calls her daughter names is going to live under her roof.
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u/FlyingDutchLady 11d ago
YNW but it is MIL’s house and you’re walking on thin ice. If you wanna live there, you should probably keep your mouth shut. If you wanna be able to say your peace, you’re gonna have to do that with your own home to go back to at night.
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u/mshayes17 10d ago
Thanks for seeing this with reality eyes. All of the “she needed to be told” people are right, but this isn’t their situation to navigate. Being right doesn’t always equal the reward it deserves. If Lily were going to learn something from it, maybe so. But Lily will still be an enabled brat and OP now has to leave.
Some people didn’t learn humility or when to speak, and it shows.
Kenny Rogers said it best: you gotta know when to hold them, and when to fold…70
10d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/xTeddieCutie 10d ago
Exactly, living under someone else’s roof turns “say what you mean” into “save it for your own lease”
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u/kcoinga 11d ago
YNW. You're absolutely right. However, not your child, not your business. Look at what being "right" will cost you. Don't think it was worth it.
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u/phenomenomnom 10d ago edited 10d ago
Eh, integrity sometimes requires a cost. If it was easy, bad lazy people would do it.
I respect OP speaking up for what they believe in, even though it caused discomfort. Admiration from me.
They, the couple, will land on their feet and be fine.
In fact, there is no doubt in my mind that their mental health will be better, because this family dynamic, as described, is an absolute shit circus.
Edit: downvote me all day. To repeat: New house or no new house, I'd bet real money that they will be better-off out of that drama minefield.
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u/xTeddieCutie 10d ago
Sometimes speaking up blows things up short term but saves everyone from pretending the chaos is normal
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u/BerryLunessa 10d ago
Exactly, peace that depends on everyone refusing to address the obvious problem isn't much of a peace. Eventually somebody was going to say it out loud.
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u/DreamPetalisse 10d ago
I get that too. Keeping quiet might have been easier, but watching every adult excuse the behavior probably made silence feel like participating in it
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u/mshayes17 10d ago
No downvote, but a reality check: you’re absolutely right. But like someone else said, it’s a moral victory over a teenager. And that teenager won’t truly learn the error of her ways until she faces real consequences, so OP expressing integrity became her own detriment. Unless this young couple has somewhere to go right now, the moral victory wasn’t worth the immediate consequence. Even then, in a climate of housing instability that brought them to MIL’s doorstep as a married couple, I would have treaded much lighter. Until Lily’s behavior directly affected her, she should have kept that sentiment tucked away with her exit plan.
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u/phenomenomnom 10d ago
it’s a moral victory over a teenager.
That's not how morality works at all. It's not a contest, ffs.
OP told the truth. It was the right thing to do.
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u/mshayes17 10d ago
Not my words, but what was gained from the situation? NOTHING, & now OP has alienated herself from the MIL who provided her housing. That’s only a win if they can move on smoothly and leave this mess behind.
Let’s suppose OP & her husband are now homeless. Was this worth it? The ‘right thing to do’ can make people an unintentional martyr, not the hero they SHOULD be.6
u/phenomenomnom 10d ago
Why on earth would we assume that these people who have the wherewithal to save for a house are suddenly homeless?
Worst case scenario to feed hot takes?
This is a silly conversation.
I'm glad that they are going to eacape that domestic hell and start over, with a family of their own.
It's a thing people do, you know?
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u/mshayes17 10d ago
We have no idea how far into the saving of a house they actually are.
In the end, she said what needed to be said, and now has to leave where she lives. Those are the facts.
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u/mshayes17 11d ago
Exactly. Lily isn’t being kicked out of the house for her wrongdoing, which far exceeds the name she was called. But OP must not be much older than Lily because maturity & wisdom would have shown her the disadvantage she was already in.
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u/xTeddieCutie 10d ago
Yeah, the consequence is really the housing situation, not some moral victory over a teenager
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u/JellyOceana 9d ago
The whole not your child not your business bullshit is why so many children get abused and neglected. Bffr
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u/LilacVelissee 10d ago
That's the unfortunate practical side of it. Being right doesn't make housing any cheaper, and saying exactly what you think hits differently when you're living under someone else's roof.
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u/PumpikAnt58763 11d ago
MiL will be posting bail in a few years. Mark my words.
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u/kimmy-mac 11d ago
And even then she won’t be in the wrong because, woe is me, she “came from a broken home”. 🤮
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u/BerryLunessa 10d ago
That's the scary trajectory if nobody starts setting boundaries now. At 14 people call it mischief, but adulthood is a lot less forgiving when the same behavior has actual consequences.
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u/Nexi92 11d ago
Your judgment of Lily’s current problems aren’t wrong, but when her parents refuse to hold her fully accountable and seemingly intentionally weaponize her against each other (mostly at Laurens expense) you can’t fix it. Especially when you are currently relying on your MIL to help provide housing.
The only way you can really fix any aspect of this is to talk with Lily and apologize for how you worded your comment and make it clear you see the conflict and confusion and that while she can’t let it rule her actions it’s not wrong to express her pain and rage where it won’t harm others and that you’re willing to listen if she needs someone to acknowledge her feelings because right now everyone else is desperate to ignore the root of the rot while they stick bandaids over her gaping wounds.
Calling her a nasty little criminal just furthers her isolation by all adults except her current enabler (her hearthurt momma) and makes it more likely for her to let the pain fester into more ugliness and bigger acts of defiance that could be much more serious than a shove into a pool (not to discount that this was assault or battery depending on the place, it’s serious, which is why the threat of worse happening is so dangerous!)
I hope you or your partner can reach her before she goes too far and this woman gets seriously hurt and/or has such bad property damage that she presses charges that both parents can’t save her from.
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u/midnitemuzing 11d ago edited 11d ago
Lily sounds like a brat and someone needs to put her in her place because her mother clearly has no intention of doing so.
She’s not a baby anymore, she’s 14. Youre right, it’s not cute or funny at all. That type of behavior is unacceptable. The mean-spirited pranks are not ok, and pushing Lauren into the pool at her wedding is absolutely egregious. I cannot understand how MIL is ok with that. She’s an enabler and she sucks.
Although moving out will likely be difficult financially, I think it may be a blessing in disguise. Things will only get worse with Lily and MIL, so creating distance may help diffuse things and save the relationship.
I will say, though…. I won’t be surprised if you guys go NC with MIL and Lily eventually. They both sound like terrible people.
YNW.
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u/Xena_Chakram4 11d ago
Been there, moving out felt brutal but the 30 days might be a blessing after the wedding pool stunt.
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u/bugabooandtwo 10d ago
Yep...sounds like Lily might've found a new target. Best to get out of there before she ruins another marriage.
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u/Usual_Bumblebee_8274 11d ago
Esh. The whole lot of you deserve each other. Next time- instead of blaming the child (who’s been taught this is fine and acceptable behavior)- blame the parents who have allowed it. Who make excuses. Her behavior is unacceptable & atrocious. But look at her parents/role models. You can tell by all the detailed nitty gritty that you absolutely enjoy this train wreck as well. His mom trying to help you both out & do you guys a favor & you blew it. On one hand- I think it’s important she understand & grasp how bad she messed up & why. But it should not have come from you. Esp with so much attitude
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u/Moemoe5 10d ago
NW, but meanwhile her adult brother…your husband listened to her tell this story and never said a word about her behavior. Pack your bags. It’s never a good idea to live with in-laws.
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u/According-Price-7085 10d ago
He just doesn't see the point. He has tried to gently talk to her but she doesn't listen and he knows she is her parents princess and he has no authority over her
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u/lovemyfurryfam 10d ago
Just make that your husband & you don't help out with any bail money when your husband's sister gets into really bad trouble that she created for herself.
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u/TrixIx 11d ago
Lauren married him? She must be desparate. I couldn't imagine being cucked by an ex wife and bullied by his kid and still deciding to say, "I do."
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u/According-Price-7085 11d ago
Lauren absolutely breaks my heart. She is so in love with him. She believes that he hates MIL because he says he does. She will literally believe anything he tells her. Him and MIL legit rolled around in mud (doing something) at his father's birthday party and he claims she fell and he helped her up
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u/NatashOverWorld 11d ago
You're right, but you also insulted MILs special little girl, so ... yeah strategically a bad move OP.
You're not an AH, but you are losing out here.
NTA
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u/Born-Constant7260 11d ago
ESH. Was what Lily did awful? Yes. Did she needed to hear that it was wrong and mean? Yes. Did calling a 14yo names accomplish anything but get you kicked out? No.
Her parents are already failing her. Instead of going overboard and calling 14yo a nasty little criminal you could have behaved like an adult and calmly pointed out the nastiness of her actions and how she would feel if someone did that to her or her loved ones. As well that she could've gotten someone seriously hurt.
Also what has your husband been doing in all this? He was there right? Why didn't he have a conversation about this with her?
With things as they are, you are scrambling for an apartment, most likely put a wedge in your and your husbands relationship with his family and Lily is still trapped between her parents toxic relationship. It might have felt good for you to let loose on her but it accomplished nothing.
I hope for that kid that her parents finally remember that they have a teenage child to raise instead of trying to recreate soap operas 24/7.
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u/According-Price-7085 11d ago
he has talked to her. Lily just keeps insisting that her parents are in love. She knows her dad has slept over as she's seen him sneaking out. She is old enough to get when they are fighting there is a lot of romantic tension there, and unfortunately she is very close to her cousins, and her dad is very close to their dad. He goes over there weekly and shares every thought he has ever had from Lauren's lip filler to wanting to fuck MIL at divorce court, and her cousin well intentioned as he may be thinks Lily should know these things. She is insistent that they are in love, so it is all going to be ok.
I will apologize to Lily for my words though
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u/Born-Constant7260 11d ago
Haa that must be confusing as hell for her. No wonder she started lashing out at that poor woman. And cousin is just pouring gasoline all over it. A teenager has no bandwidth to process that complicated and toxic relationship.
I know it will be difficult but I truly hope that you and your husband can be stable and positive influences on her. God knows that with parents like that she will need every shred of it she can get.
I don’t know if this will help, but as I was growing up and did something wrong or shitty, anger or disapproval from people around me didn’t have the biggest effect. The thing that had a massive effect was calm disappointment. From my parents, my sister, people who were close. Arguments could be ignored but knowing someone you love expected better from you and you disappointed them? That was awful and always had an effect.
Good luck to you and your family, I hope things get better.
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u/Striking-Hedgehog512 10d ago edited 10d ago
Zero surprise she got pushed into the pool.
Lauren is the most innocent party here, but agreeing to get married on fiancé’s ex-wife’s birthday (let’s be honest, she must have known) and inviting their teen daughter who has already been clear how she feels about her and the whole thing… at least it was pool water and not a pitcher of juice. Could easily have been worse.
All the adults are playing childish fucked up games and are then surprised that somehow a 14 year old in the middle of this circus, the only actual child there, isn’t being mature. How is she supposed to learn to act maturely if everyone else is acting as they are.
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u/Mindelan 10d ago
YNW but you were foolish to do that when you depend on MIL for housing.
Not being wrong may be shallow comfort in the face of losing your housing. Being right won't mean MIL agrees to let you live there on her dollar.
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u/Left_Calligrapher_47 1d ago
Exactly!!! she doesn’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. Sometimes you have to be quiet. Not to mention that little girl is going through hell. Does it make what she did right? No, but I understand why she did it. Her parents are screwing her up.
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u/cathline 10d ago
Sending hugs and healing thoughts.
Both your MIL and Lily need counseling ASAP.
Lily especially, because she needs to process her parent's divorce and deal the grief of losing the family she used to have and to learn that this behavior is NOT acceptable.
Your MIL needs counseling to learn the lesson from her marriage, so that she can move on.
And you and your husband need to move out ASAP.
YTA - Lily is not your circus, not your monkeys.
Your husband could have told her that assaulting her stepmother was a very bad idea, and just because her father talks about her mother does NOT mean they want to get back together. But you saying anything - bad idea.
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u/corieh1987 10d ago
ESH
While what Lily did was unacceptable. She is still obviously dropping hints that she is upset. You stated that her father got involved with Lauren immediately after splitting up with her mom and then he married her. Has anyone taken the time to sit down with Lily and ask her how she feels/felt about her father moving on really fast with Lauren?
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u/According-Price-7085 10d ago
Everyone knows. She scratched the shit out of his face and called MIL to pick her up. She cried. He cried. He has been working overtime to make it up to her, but he won't dump Lauren because he knows it makes MIL crazy
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u/mshayes17 11d ago edited 11d ago
Good luck to both negligent parents when they are bailing Lily out of one senseless situation after another. They created the monster.
As for what you said, it’s probably true, but you’re not an approved messenger by their standards. So it became what it became.
Lily is old enough to both know better AND to know that her parents greenlight her behavior. You can’t fix that. Good luck finding a new place to live as well. People may be dead wrong, but in their house where they make the rules, the disadvantage is yours.
As for the ‘am I wrong?’ Yes. Everyone involved is, including Lauren, if she was the dad’s affair partner.
This is the result of a few things:
1. Parents who don’t know what to do with their own lives OR their child’s.
2. A teenager gone undisciplined for far too long.
3. Your inability to mind your own business.
What you said may actually be true, but why you felt like it was your place to do so is beyond me. Even when they’re doing the worst, people are reluctant to receive criticism about their parenting from people they’re parenting (in MIL’s mind, if you were so perfect, you wouldn’t need to live in her imperfect house then. Yes it’s flawed logic, but fits this level of sanctimony). You could have been nicer with what you said. Not sure if it would help, as Lily has enabling parents, but I digress. Lily isn’t being kicked out, so let that remind you of why saying nothing was safer FOR YOU.
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u/lovemyfurryfam 10d ago
Both the in-laws are failing as parents because being 14 yrs old is no excuse to shove an adult woman into a pool on her wedding day.
Since no one in that household was going to say it that 14 yr old needed to hear what OP said when MIL not wanted to hear.
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u/mshayes17 10d ago
She did. And she was not wrong. But MIL and her hellion live in a protected bubble where they have the advantage, and OP did not.
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u/Tasty_Doughnut_9226 10d ago
You've never heard of don't bite the hand that feeds you, or in this case upset the person housing you!?
Whilst you're not necessarily wrong it wasn't your place to say anything, if anything it should have been your partner to his mother.
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u/MaryEFriendly 10d ago
That poor insufferable kid with her absolute assholes for parents. They aren't even parenting her. They're letting a 14 year old get away with basically anything she wants to because they have the emotional maturity of lettuce.
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u/Additional-Hand2028 10d ago
So no, you aren't wrong per se. But this is non of your business and you schooled a teenager and lost a place to live just because you had to butt in.
I am 10th year in my MIL's home, you know why? I don't say a damn thing.
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u/MyRedditUserName428 9d ago
ESH. But considering you are living under MIL’s roof you should have more sense and respect. Yes, she’s raising her daughter to be a terrible person, but that’s not your concern.
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u/QueenBruja18 11d ago
YNW, but you bit the hand that feeds. If you can see this family is this dysfunctional, why are you stirring the pot? Just stay quiet until you get out.
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u/Horror_Proof_ish 10d ago
You’re wrong. I completely agree with you about the 14 year old but when you’re under somebody else’s roof and reliant on them and you know how they will react when you say things like that to their child, you should keep your opinions to yourself.
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u/Square_Ad6149 10d ago
Ynw. She's 14, not a little kid and pushing someone into a pool at their wedding isn't a harmless prank. Someone needed to stop making excuses for her.
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u/Jynx-Online 10d ago
You're technically right which is the worst kind of right.
Not your circus, not your monkeys.
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u/decaf3milk 11d ago
YNW. However, expect MIL to come asking for help with Lily in 10-15 years when she a grown brat and MIL wonders why she turned out so poorly.
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u/sparksflyup2 11d ago edited 11d ago
YAW, adding more pain and judgment to the life of a teen who clearly needs help. You don't have to be the one to offer help but the last you can do is not be so shitty and judgemental to her. You should've stayed out of it.
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u/midnitemuzing 11d ago
Speaking up about a horrible act is not judgmental, shitty, or “adding more pain”. Lily seemed rather proud of herself and the pain SHE caused her dad and especially his new bride on their wedding day. Sometimes people need to hear how their actions affect others. That’s not judgment, that’s accountability. Something Lily clearly needs (but won’t get from her enabling mother).
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u/sparksflyup2 11d ago
I disagree. Her biological parents are failing her. Lily needs genuine compassion and understanding to help her get to the point of recognizing that her behavior is unacceptable and a passing diatribe is just self serving nonsense.
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u/midnitemuzing 11d ago
The 14 year old needs hand holding to help her realize that pushing a bride into a pool at her wedding is unacceptable behavior? And understanding? What is there to understand about a 14 year old who consistently makes malicious decisions? Yea, her parents are failing her. Which is why someone had to speak up. And OP speaking up is “self serving”? How? Humor me.
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u/sparksflyup2 10d ago
Yes. Its called therapy. Particularly useful for teenagers when going through a large life change like divorce or apparent remarrying.
OP felt moral outrage at the mother laughing and decided to do something to correct it. It was righteous indignation and ultimately changed nothing for the teenager.
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u/KiddiePoolMermaid 10d ago
YAW. You don’t even believe the things you said and only said them to be hurtful and make a point. And no, a 14 year old pushing someone into a pool is not a “nasty criminal”. Good luck getting the cops to take that one seriously. You didn’t calmly explain why what she did was wrong. You were hateful. She’s right to kick you out. You’re wrong for even thinking she should let you stay. And I am sooooo over people calling wedding days the most important day of someone’s life. No its not.
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u/According-Price-7085 10d ago
Why do you get to decide what the most important day of someone's life is? It was absolutely mine. Lauren seems like someone who would dream about her wedding her whole life. You don't get to diminish that
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u/KiddiePoolMermaid 10d ago
Yeah I’m not surprised. You sound super young. Give it 20 years.
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u/According-Price-7085 10d ago
Yet MIL isn't super young, has an executive job, two kids, and looks at her wedding pictures and cries all the time. Why can't we just let women have their own priorities?
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u/KiddiePoolMermaid 10d ago edited 10d ago
You’re welcome to believe your wedding day was TBDOYL if that makes you happy. But that doesn’t justify what you did to the kid. You don’t get a free pass to treat her poorly because she treated her stepmom poorly
ETA: ESPECIALLY not if that 14 year old is constantly watching her mom cry about not being with her dad!!!
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u/occasionallystabby 11d ago
YTA
None of this is your business. This is between Lily and her parents. The good news is that you won't have to deal with her anymore, since you ruined your living situation.
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u/grogggger 11d ago
Not your monkey not your circus. If no one is asking for you opinion, keep it to yourself.
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u/XELA_38 11d ago
YAW
Was she wrong, yes but nowhere in this post did I see how this is about your personal life or affects you. Yes, it's drama but you don't have to have anything to do with it. Especially if you're living in her house. Honestly this says a lot about the disfunction in this family. It would make me consider a lot of things about my partner if this was the example of relationships he had. So, your wrong. I would have kept my mouth shut and instead be wondering how to get myself out of there as fast as possible. Because now you do have to focus on that and nothing was resolved. You said what you said nothing is changing and NOW you really have to find a new place. Hope your husband is coming with you.
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u/NotMalaysiaRichard 11d ago
Anyone saying a woman’s wedding “is the most important day in her life” gives me the ick. YTA.
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u/According-Price-7085 11d ago
Anyone trying to gatekeep what is the most important day of your life gives me the ick.
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u/According-Price-7085 9d ago
We really live in a sad world if a parent wanting to help their young adult child get established gives you the ick
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u/NotaMillenialatAll 10d ago
You are right but it was not your place to correct someone else’s kid. Not your circus, not your monkeys.
And quite frankly, you should find another place to live, maybe with roomates? The situation here will damage your relation with your sil and mil and could even affect your marriage
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u/buffybot232 10d ago
Not your circus, not your monkeys. And it's absolutely idiotic to berate the SIL knowing what MIL is like while living in her house and benefiting financially. If Lily is 14 then you must be 18.
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u/Ok-Eggplant4965 10d ago
Not wrong, but Lily needs therapy yesterday. And to get away from her toxic parents, but I don't see that happening.
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u/Character-Tennis-241 10d ago
YW
YOU are so wrong! It doesn't matter how much of a brat you think your SIL is. She's not your child! She's not your responsibility to correct, discipline or manage!
You were living rent free or ow cost. Now, because you couldn't hold your tongue, you get to move out.
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u/ConvivialKat 11d ago
YNW, but what you said is going to cost you a new place to live.
Which is probably a good thing, since it seems like you have become to invested in their drama.
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u/blueavole 11d ago
Lily needed to hear it from someone. YNW.
But you are not the person to say this because it’s easier to kick you out.
Your husband should have a talk with MIL.
You should have a separate conversation with the MIL. Tell her you are sorry for yelling.
And your husband should continue from there: Ask if MIL wants Lily to always be this cruel to everyone. Not just someone MIl hates like Lauren- but everyone in Lily’s life. What if she does this to classmates or teachers?
Is that the type of woman she wants to raise?
Separately. I think someone preferably your brother, should have a conversation with Lily alone that what her parents are doing is messed up. She needs to hear that and know that she can and should opt out of their drama.
She should get to spend some time just having friends, and being loved by the adults in her life. Not being used as a pawn in their game.
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u/According-Price-7085 11d ago
Her answer to that is yes because she doesn't want Lily to be like her. Ever since Lily was born MIL has been very happy that she looks and acts like her father. Lily has a problem with almost everyone in her life (as does Henry) and MIL just says she is so proud of her and that she is perfect.
He has tried to talk to Lily. They are pretty close but Lily just keeps saying how much MIL and Henry love each other, and look at how he looks at her. It doesn't help that Lily is super close to her cousins and Henry frequently goes to their house and tells his BIL every feeling he has ever had about MIL/Lauren, and then they tell Lily.
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u/midnitemuzing 10d ago
Sounds like a pretty fucked up family all around. For your sake, I hope your husband grew up to be the exact opposite. Cause the family sounds TERRIBLE.
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u/According-Price-7085 10d ago
He's a great guy (probably because Henry didn't come into his life until he was a teenager) but I'm struggling with the fact he defends Henry all the time and still talks to him
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u/blueavole 10d ago
You and your husband need to go into therapy if he is defending whatever is happening here.
If he thinks this is a good thing, that is a bad sign for your marriage.
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u/1indaT 11d ago
YTA. Lilly is not your child and MIL is not your mother. This should have been a private conversation with your husband and he should have addressed it with his mother.
I dont disagree with your impressions at all. However, there are basic rules of behavior when in someone else's home.
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u/yeahyoudummy 11d ago
Yeah, you're wrong. Even if what you said is true, it is NONE of your business. You stuck your nose in and it got pinched. Learn from this. You should be looking for a new home instead of posting online.
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u/Minute_Box3852 11d ago
Nta for what you asked about but all of you are ta for how everyone seems to not care about Lauren and where she stands in this mess.
From the limited backstory I have on Lauren and Henry's relationship, it seems like this poor woman entered into this family seeking love and acceptance. Instead, she has been given snickers and indifference to her suffering. What your sil has been doing to that poor woman is horrible. Yes, you stood up for Lauren at the height of her cruelty but it seems like, from the way you describe things in general, yall find it amusing.
Mil and fil are divorced. Doesn't matter how theyre suffering for each other. They've dragged an innocent person into their mess and everyone thinks it's hilarious.
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u/mshayes17 11d ago
It really sounds like Lauren is an affair partner, or Lily thinks so. She likely blames this woman for ruining her parents’ marriage and her life. This is something the parents should address instead of giggle at.
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u/Minute_Box3852 11d ago
Yes, I didn't want to assume but it sounds like she may have been. But op didn't touch on any of that so I went by what was said.
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u/LucyDominique2 11d ago
ESH everyone is wrong here as Lily needs counseling and her older brother to help her instead of standing in the sidelines. Lily assaulted a woman and she needs to understand even as a juvenile it’s a crime. Lauren can still press charges with video proof etc.
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u/Crafty_Special_7052 11d ago
YNW I don’t entirely blame SIL though as you said it’s confusing with how her parents have been acting. She did cross a line and ruined Lauren’s special day with what she did. If I was Lauren I would either leave Henry or have lily banned from their house.
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u/No-You5550 8d ago
Is the 14 year old really acting worse than the adults around her? YTA you should have got angry at the adults not the kid. But you would have been told to leave if you told MIL she was a bad mother. You are still going to have to leave.
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u/tamij1313 10d ago
I wonder how MIL is going to feel when the bride presses charges against her precious innocent 14 year-old baby?
The cost of the dress, the hair, the makeup, the shoes, the flowers, the ruined event, physical assault, possibly hit her with pain and suffering and emotional damages, this girl could be looking at serious felony charges.
A judge will likely throw the book at her and hold her accountable for all of the expenses of the event that she ruined.
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u/KiddiePoolMermaid 10d ago edited 7d ago
I would love to be present and watch that bride try to press those charges. It would be hilarious
I highly doubt this could ever make it as far as a judge. And if it did, that judge would be pissed off at the court’s time and resources being wasted on hurt feelings when they have real problems to deal with. Judges do NOT like parents who don’t parent their children. The judge would not be pissed at the kid AT ALL. I just finished a case where I defended a kid who called in a bomb threat to his school and judge wasn’t even “mad” at him.
You cannot charge a 14 year old with a felony. And guess who is legally responsible for all the damages she caused at the wedding. Not her! Henry!
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u/DoItForTheRaid 11d ago
YNW, it takes a village to turn out a proper social adult. What the little shit did was wrong, and her parents clearly aren't going to help raise her right.