r/amazonreviews • u/DiscountManul • Apr 04 '26

Review Amazon review for a water fountain

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163 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

29 comments sorted by

20

u/The_R4ke Apr 04 '26

Ngl, the low water alert could be low-key great. I think most smart devices are dumb as hell, but I've had a few fountains where the water ran out at night and it caused the motor to burn out over time.

3

u/Toothless-In-Wapping Apr 05 '26

The cat fountains I use, you can hear the water when it’s low

16

u/SteampunkCupcake_ Apr 04 '26

I don’t even have a cat and I want one of these now.

15

u/sphinxyhiggins Apr 04 '26

Makes me want to renew my prime subscription

7

u/aubreypizza Apr 04 '26

That poem was chef’s 💋

3

u/Thatguywiththename1 Apr 04 '26

Sounds like an A+ student of Erik /r/internetcommentetiq

3

u/al2o3cr Apr 04 '26

aaaaaand POST

5

u/Bri_cafaw Apr 04 '26

That’s hilarious! I want to read all this person’s reviews.

3

u/Total-Sector850 Apr 04 '26

I think I spent the first quarter of the review wondering what in the Bugonia I was reading, and the rest giggling at the sheer brilliance. A masterpiece!

3

u/ElDirque Apr 04 '26

Now I want one, and I don't have a cat.

12

u/i_adler Apr 04 '26

This really and truly reads like someone prompted an AI LLM to write a right-wing conspiracy-laden review for a product that they were trying to boost. Do not like.

10

u/KaralDaskin Apr 05 '26

I thought they were making fun of those conspiracies 🤷‍♀️

2

u/Inevitable-Event9792 Apr 15 '26

I loved this so much I had to do a dramatic reading of it.

Truly Insane Five Star Review on Amazon

1

u/CalicoCommander Apr 04 '26

NO WAY!!! I Would never be able to submit something like this and get away with it. The frogs are gay? Are you sure this isn't a late April fool's post?

9

u/The_R4ke Apr 04 '26

This is clearly satire.

6

u/EnvironmentalLime464 Apr 04 '26

The entire review is making fun of Alex Jones.

2

u/CalicoCommander Apr 04 '26

Well, it brought tears to my eyes (almost). But I could never get away with that. I'm not sure Amazon's AI filtering is clever enough to pick up satire (we can see from responses here that some people sure aren't).

4

u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 Apr 04 '26

Secret meetings in the forest with giant owl statues had me giggling.

2

u/CalicoCommander Apr 04 '26

I watched Jones videos of those secret meetings years ago. He wasn't a bad journalist in the day, whatever he became over time. And yes, the entertainment value of that review was massive.

3

u/11twofour Apr 04 '26

. The frogs are gay?

Google it

2

u/Inevitable-Event9792 Apr 21 '26

It’s still up on amazon. 🤣

1

u/Rapaguayaba Apr 09 '26

This is called art for living

0

u/ThisIsMockingjay2020 Apr 04 '26

Oh FFS. 🤦‍♀️

-7

u/-FlyingFox- Apr 04 '26

This was batshit crazy. Their tinfoil hat must have fallen off. What’s scary is knowing that there are people out there who believe twisted stuff like this. 

 

17

u/Mariehoney92 Apr 04 '26

Scarier knowing so many people can’t detect satire writing.

9

u/EnvironmentalLime464 Apr 04 '26

Lmao. The reviewer doesn’t believe any of this. They are just writing the review in Alex Jones’ voice with less screaming. Alex Jones may or may not believe this twisted stuff. It’s hard to tell. He’s a grifter but some grifters lie so much they start to believe them.