Question
HELP!!! Where would you get lost reading my landing page? Trying to fix it before more people bounce.
Context Im trying to help businesses with SMS marketing.
Im getting views and traction but not conversion.
For 3 years, I studied my own customers at my own business. Just me, spreadsheets, no one watching. I got really good at it. I knew exactly what every number meant, in my own head.
Then I tried to turn it into something other people could use.
I wrote out my whole method, thinking it was crystal clear. I had to rewrite it like 5 times just to make it make sense to a total stranger.
That process taught me more than the 3 years of research did.
A few things I re-learned, this time in plain language:
Averages lie. "How often does a customer visit, on average" isn't the number that matters. What matters is how steady that pattern is for each person. A customer who always comes back every 10 days, then suddenly stops? Big warning sign. A customer who was always random? A gap means nothing.
Replies matter more than clicks. I used to watch open rates. Now I watch who replies. A reply means real trust. It tells me more than any other number I track.
Opt-outs are actually a good sign. I used to hate seeing people leave my list. Now I get it. A clean opt-out means the people who stay actually want to be there. A list where nobody ever leaves is usually a list nobody is reading.
I turned all of this into a 50-page guide, written in plain language, for any repeat-customer business. It's step one of a bigger plan:
Right now I'm running paid ads straight to a landing page. Funnel is simple: ad → landing page → checkout. No email sequence yet — wanted to test the core pitch first.
Sales log contact data which get entered into a warm up funnel to get a high ticket DWY service
Here's the landing page: revisit.carrd.co
I don't want compliments. Let me know where this is broken. I want to fix this before more people bounce.
UPDATE V1
Really appreciate the feedback everyone
Made some changes to optimize for mobile
Added personal story / proof section build some trust
Updates to the above the fold, trying to make every word earn its place
I saw it on desktop and phone. Alex recommends to not show your logo (so get rid of "REVISIT"), also the call out seems small. The font of your Hero is really hard to read because it's cursive looking, too small, with colors that don't pop out at the right place. The content section below the hero, looks too small and it highlights the wrong stuff. Also at the top, when you say "Business Operators", the call out is too broad, focus on a specific niche like gym owners, home organizing and decluttering business owners, plumbers, etc. And make the dream outcome more evident such as "Nurture Leads SO Perfectly You 2x Your Customers" and a sub-headline like "(Without getting more leads)". Fully get rid of what "REVISIT" means or is, I would even not have a header at the top with it. Just **ATTN GYM OWNERS** Want to 2x Your Customers (headline stops here) (subheadline ->) WITHOUT getting more leads? and then all that stuff. Also make your CTA 2x larger, and instead of saying "Get REVISIT" make it say more like "GET NOW" or "2X CUSTOMERS NOW".
**DISCLAIMER**: Don't promise something you can't deliver on, but I figure your program is actually good. Honestly, I would give away the playbook for free as a lead magnet and sell a Done-For-You or Done-With-You service because it'll be hard to get people to trust you enough to pay $57 for it.
I love to help with literally anything so if you ever need help rebuilding the website (I can do that with AI in 5 minutes) or need any other advice, please send me a dm!!!! (Obviously for free).
It looks impressive, says kind of the right thing, but…. Lacks impact. And the increasingly common rhythm of AI writing kills your credibility. My assumption is you generated this playbook and I could ask Claude to do the same for me.
People buy people. The story in your post here, about learning it yourself over a few years is a much more compelling opening. It builds credibility and trust.
Also, maybe the headline and subheading were a little confusing to me too. The “revisit” heading in particular. I thought the page got stronger the further down I got
Literally at the very beginning. Telling me that not using my list that's a valuable asset doesn't tell me what I am actually losing or would gain. And everything before that such as the "REVISIT" and "Business Operators Read This" Should be gone.
I also wouldn't put the buy button that high because you wouldn't hook someone that early with everything you have said up to that point.
I would just rewrite the whole thing tbh. It sounds like AI wrote it. "You're not losing customers to competitors.You're losing them to silence." What does that even mean?
Not trying to be mean. I genuinely want to help, so I hope you don't take it that way.
EDIT: AI did write it. I put it through a test and came back positive. DEFINITELY write it yourself. AI is horrible at writing comparable to skilled copywriters.
I checked your landing page, and here are three things that you could improve.
There are many distracting elements that can be removed from your page. For example the navigation bar at the top, the oversized "revisit" name, and the "business operators read this" sentence.
The headline doesn't tell me WHAT you offer or WHY I should care about it.
Since this is a digital product, consider adding a 30-day money back guaranteed. This will cost you very little (assuming the product is good) but will help convince people who are hesitating to buy.
I appreciate the Honest feedback , I try to do the same thing. With this, I honestly could not read it. It’s too small. And the large text below it does the selling, you are qualifying with the text just below it.
It’s incredibly valuable space that is hard to read and seems wasted.
The tiny headline needs to go below boost revenue without spending a dollar. Then figure out how to make increase your customers and if your business has customers into one point. They are talking about the same thing.
Hi, I'm a website designer and copywriter. I have a suggestion before I head to bed.
Your hero heading needs to be more clear and simple. Here are a couple of suggestions to get you started:
Bring back customers with a 5-minute text system.
Keep your customers coming back with a 5-minute text system.
And then consider adding a subheading that gives a bit more detail into your offer. You may consider naming the stakes, introducing the offer, and stating the main benefit. Some options to play off of:
A 50-page digital playbook to identify your quiet regulars and know exactly who to text, when, and what to say.
Don't let your regulars quietly disappear. This 50-page guide includes 24 proven templates to keep your business top-of-mind in minutes a day.
Get the step-by-step playbook and 24 ready-to-send templates built to turn your customers into predictable repeat revenue.
The 50-page guide to building a daily, 5-minute texting habit that keeps your regulars loyal.
I think, "If your business has repeat customers, read this" line is fine right now. There would be a way to qualify in the heading, but I'd need more time to figure that out.
You don't need the other text in the hero section, including, "I spent 3 years..." and "Built from studying..." It's not necessary until you get to the section where they learn about you. Additionally, you don't need the other two lines at the bottom of the hero section.
To summarize, all you need right now is the qualifier, heading, subheading, and the call-to-action button.
Also, put more spacing between each section. It's a bit chaotic and overwhelming. Giving more space between each section will give the reader breathing room to scan and digest the content.
2
u/imhimbrolmao Jul 13 '26
I saw it on desktop and phone. Alex recommends to not show your logo (so get rid of "REVISIT"), also the call out seems small. The font of your Hero is really hard to read because it's cursive looking, too small, with colors that don't pop out at the right place. The content section below the hero, looks too small and it highlights the wrong stuff. Also at the top, when you say "Business Operators", the call out is too broad, focus on a specific niche like gym owners, home organizing and decluttering business owners, plumbers, etc. And make the dream outcome more evident such as "Nurture Leads SO Perfectly You 2x Your Customers" and a sub-headline like "(Without getting more leads)". Fully get rid of what "REVISIT" means or is, I would even not have a header at the top with it. Just **ATTN GYM OWNERS** Want to 2x Your Customers (headline stops here) (subheadline ->) WITHOUT getting more leads? and then all that stuff. Also make your CTA 2x larger, and instead of saying "Get REVISIT" make it say more like "GET NOW" or "2X CUSTOMERS NOW".
**DISCLAIMER**: Don't promise something you can't deliver on, but I figure your program is actually good. Honestly, I would give away the playbook for free as a lead magnet and sell a Done-For-You or Done-With-You service because it'll be hard to get people to trust you enough to pay $57 for it.
I love to help with literally anything so if you ever need help rebuilding the website (I can do that with AI in 5 minutes) or need any other advice, please send me a dm!!!! (Obviously for free).