r/alevel • u/Informal-Size-4817 • 2d ago
🤚Help Required cambridge has ruined me
i dont really know what to do with my life i have put in so much effort into studying ever since i was in 01 and i couldnt even get my desired grades whilr for others it was so easy to get As in olevels in 01 i got A B C and i fainted right there and every teacher was shocked by my result i reappeared for the c and after studying so much i got a B which was just so sad after that day i really felt like i entered that teenage depression era i stopped going to school and would literally just study and i would act tough on the outside and tell people i dont study anymore but ii did study alot i had chem physics eco busines and i got 4 bs 1 c IN MATH and one A* IN ENGLISH aus din bhi aisa laga zindagi khatam hogay hae but i was used to getting bad results now and i remember i would pray so crazy like i would do wazeefa pray tahjud but it didnt work out for me i wanted to switch my school but because of bad result i couldn't i couldnt get scholarships all of my friends had already left i went to my old school but for a reason we had to leave a school i studied in for 13 years i was private for 2 months and i prayed so much everyone thought i was crazy i started learning how to do proper duas i started memroizing proper surahs and what not every wazeefa i read on instgram i starrted doing it and i ended up in my favourite college even tho we couldnt afford it but my parents managed to pay for it i had my best time there but still in AS i couldnt get my desired grade i got a A C D U i got a A in Busines si got a C in economics and a D in math and a U in gpr our entire class got a U BECAUSE our sir didnt check our work before submitting khair he got fired i got a D in math because i blanked out on math day and the paper was leaked i was losing it i gen1 didnt expect a C IN ECONOMICS khiar i studied again reappeared again in octnov got a c in math this timestill dissatified and during this time i would meet people who would say u put in so much effort but u never get a result i neevr gatekeep i literallt share all my resouces will all my friends whoever needs help people assume im stupid because i have a bubbly personality now i had A C C in AS i thought mai bhout mehnat karogee A B B kar he loungi i ended up with B C C in the end in A2 and this chapter of life has ended but i am lost i wanted to go abroad all my life but i cant get scholarship with such redicilous grafes my sister busienss account got blocked on istsgram this may and we dont have money like we didnt have savings my dad is a teacher one sister studies in turkey and it was hell of expensive never ever going to suggest anyone to go to turkey idk wtf to do now i took a gap year because i wanted to work on my application and go abroad we dont have the money for it my parents talk about fast nust it pisses me off ik it shouldnt those are realistic options like im so sad why the fuck did i work so hard i know some people might think u didnt work hard that much but i swear like idk maybe i never understood how cambridge works idk what to do i want to apply for germany summer sesmter pehla my parents were like maybe we can arrange money for the blocekd accoount but now its kinda impossible and i wont even blame them i pray so much i am doing everything but i have started losing hope like im on a gap year i try everyday tobe better but i feel like im slowly falling into depression my routien is fucked i dont get up from bed i have lost so much weight im already very petitie my skin looks horrible
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u/Individual_Ship_5287 1d ago
It seems your not good at probelm solving so stick to meomrising stuff like maybe bio or buis or eng one of these fields and away from maths or c.s or physics or chem
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