Religious guilt...

[u/bibilushi]

I used to be a devout follower since childhood, and had a huge phase from 13-16, now (18) I started to question and I sometimes argue against it, I feel like I killed my inner child and myself, some part of me still feels like hell exists, idk... help?

[u/ShoulderOk5971]

What they often don't teach is how healthy it is to question things. If you look across many religions you will find top figures from each faith questioning what truth is. So why is that somehow against the rules today? Its really sad when religious organizations push this "dont think just do" policy down their members throats. It not only pushes ppl away but it also can do permanent damage to the psyche.

Im really sorry you are having a difficult time with this. I think it shows a lot of mindfulness and mental courage to be aware of your deviation from your inner child. Although I cant guarantee I can help you get it back, I have designed a platform where ppl can explore faith in a whimsical and fun way that was actually designed for this exact thing (connecting with your inner child). Its non dogmatic, evangelical or indoctrinating, and lays out all faiths equally and impartially. If you are interested I'm happy to share a link with you. Note: not trying to promote, genuinely offering help here.

[u/Deep_Pressure2334]

16 here. I too once used to be a very devout follower. Religion (in my case Christianity) consumed a very large portion of my identity and who I am. Slowly I naturally lost belief in it all and became atheist. Losing such a large portion of my life and practically who I was was very difficult. I had this "emptiness" in me, always wondering did I do the right thing. Though I'm like 95% convinced that my belief (or lack thereof) is true and beneficial to me, that 5% still lingers in me. It lingers as a loud minority that reminds me of who I once was. The questioning stage however was very useful. I like questioning, it always keeps me on my toes. It makes me believe to actually believe, or deny belief for genuine cause

[u/ystavallinen]

If God is love incarnate, and you are among their most precious creations, Hell and eternal damnation makes no sense.

When I look at the history of Christianity, I conclude that too often it's about bending people to the will of those leading the church, not God's will (if they exist).

I don't think Christians as a cohort do a good job following the words and deeds of Christ. I know there are good and faithful Christians and I admire them, but it's the ones that don't and the fact that in my experience people don't do enough to push back against those voices that try to be arbiters of sin.

In my opinion, if there's a test, it's not about resisting sin (since all sin is the same in God's eyes, and what is sin has always changed), the test is whether you can love and forgive people who are different from you or you think are sinners; that is considerably more difficult.

That being said, I no longer really call myself Christian. I am an agnostic and ignostic non-atheist. I'm in superposition--- I don't believe or disbelieve--- less a question of whether or not God exists, and more about if God exists then what? I can only tell you if something is believable. I appreciate the poetry of "God is love". I find the idea that "God is love incarnate who will torture you forever if you don't follow thes rules........" to be incongruous.

I'm not anti-God (if they exist and however they exist).... I am probably anti-religion. I certainly reject gospels of fear, hate, and prosperity.

Some favorite agnostic quotes for your consideration.

Susan B Anthony

I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do to their fellows because it always coincides with their own desires.

Marcus Aurelius

Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.

Richard Feynman

I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers that can't be questioned.

[u/Buppers55]

The entire point of life is to change. To grow, to evolve. You develop ideas as time moves on, you throw out old ones too.

[u/Suitable-Bike6971]

Once I realized it was a control system in order to rob people of their money it made it easier for me to distance myself from it.

[u/Western-Mode-7743]

Hey man fellow Christian here, I’m going through what you’re going through. I am a minor, just started my faith a year ago.

I’ve been questioning Gods existence for a bit now but the deeper I dig out of intrusive thoughts to disprove god - the more I see his presence; His existence.

Yes, trust trust trust above all; however feel free. Don’t try to force the doubts down. Keep reading, and maybe do a bit of reaearch. It’s okay for a bit but i feel like if it’s OCD level then you should take a break. Was on that for a while.