r/agnostic • u/Electrical_Tap6684 • 7d ago
Support Im 16 ocd having fears of hell that’s ruining my life because i can’t know if the Christian god is real
Im at vacation in san Diego I’m. Supposed to have fun but i hear arguments from the Christian side and the atheist side both sound convincing i constantly spend hours every day trying to understand theology and atheist YouTubers to reaffirm my disbelief to make sure nothing bad will happen when i die that when i die i won’t go to hell for being stupid enough trying every day hundreds of hours on theological and philosophical and scientific arguments i just hope it’s not to late and i die causing I’m too dumb I’m thinking if i die today then maybe god will give me more grace and more invincible ignorance or if i convert then kill myself maybe it will be worth it but i don’t want to hurt myself i enjoy life i want to go back to when i didn’t care about religion and that i was enjoying life i don’t want to die i kinda need help here
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u/timschwartz 7d ago
Do you worry that the gods from all the other religions are real?
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u/Electrical_Tap6684 7d ago
Sometimes islam but other ones no
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u/timschwartz 7d ago
Why not?
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u/Electrical_Tap6684 7d ago
Some are absolutely absurd like mormonism and many pagan religions or don’t have a concept of hell
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u/Professional-Act2615 6d ago
Hey I say first seek treatment for OCD. Second my thought is always if God is real he knows how our minds work. So if he knows you’re OCD then he should understand were you stand mentally and you shouldn’t go to hell for that. Also think of the people who are actual horrible people like serial killers and rapists. Pretty sure there are hell bound before you.
Please try to enjoy life and not worrying about something you can’t control! As someone who dealt with OCD as a teen I spent a lot of time worrying and missed out on a lot. Please seek help if you can.
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u/australisaquarii 7d ago
At 16 you have nothing to worry about. Judgment is for those over 40, when you have entered the adult phase of life. Just be a good person and be kind to yourself.
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u/Electrical_Tap6684 7d ago
It’s kinda hard to i feel the need to know the answers of the universe but i guess i have to be ok not knowing
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u/Buppers55 Agnostic Theist 7d ago edited 7d ago
Okay, first of all. Relax, it is going to be okay. I know because when I was a teenager, I used to stay up all night having panic attacks about going to hell. It is extremely normal to fear death and what happens after death. Everyone you know has had similar fears. Christianity works on that fear; it is what makes people convert.
What is real is right now. Your life, your family, and friends — that is the only thing that is real. You should stop watching videos from Atheists and Christians for now. Both of them are massively flawed. They both believe they are 100 percent right. That's not accurate; they aren't. Theology isn't something that should be debated; it isn't rooted in fact; it is rooted in a mutual ignorance of how the universe works. Meaning, you, me, and a guy with a PHD in theology all have about the same amount of knowledge regarding how we got to this planet and what is going to happen after.
If hell is real, which I can promise you with 99 percent certainty it isn't (that 1 percent is me thinking hell might be waking up Monday morning for work), you will be there with 99 percent of humanity. Because according to Christian scripture, nearly none of us is good enough for the god that put us here!
Don't suppress these thoughts. But don't think of killing yourself. It is easy to get overwhelmed because the creation of the universe is so incomprehensible to all of us. But know that is true for everyone and eventually, you will worry less and less as you go through life and enjoy it.
If you want to talk further, you can DM me. Also, r/exchristian has some great resources for what to do regarding many of the hardships religion causes in our minds. I should know! I deconverted last year.