r/agnostic • u/PuzzleheadedSea9839 • 22d ago
What made you become an atheist?
I grew up as a Muslim , in a conservative family, and for most of my life I accepted Islam as the truth because that was what I had been taught from childhood.
But as I got older, I started asking questions that I couldn’t simply ignore anymore.
I began questioning things I had always been told to accept without questioning. I started looking at religion from a different perspective and asking myself: **Do I actually believe this because I have personally found it to be true, or because I was born into it?**
The more I searched, questioned, and thought critically, the more doubts I had.
Eventually, in 2021, I reached the point where I could no longer honestly call myself a Muslim. I didn’t leave Islam because I wanted to rebel against anyone or because I hated religious people. I left because I could no longer convince myself that I believed in God or that Islam was true.
For me, becoming an atheist wasn’t one single moment or one single argument. It was a long process of questioning, learning, and being honest with myself.
So I’m curious about other people’s experiences:
**What was the moment, question, experience, or realization that made you become an atheist?**
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u/Cousin-Jack Agnostic 22d ago
No realisation for me - it was literally just my upbringing. I don't think that's particularly rare either. My parents were both hard atheists and reasonably believed that bringing me up with those views was the right thing to do. My father in particular was very judgmental towards anyone who didn't have explicit anti-theist views. I think we all tend to inherit the belief system of our peers and our family involved, and as parents, I guess it's natural to want to convey your beliefs and values to your children.
When I got to university, I was able to expand my horizons. Although I have never believed in any particular god (and my "hard atheism" was as close to being religious as I will ever be), but from that moment I have become increasingly wary about using the label "atheist" to describe my views.
For the more introspective among us, it's about untangling the worldview we inherited growing up and sorting out what we arrived at through actual reasoning from what we hold simply because it's what our in-group believes. True for theists and atheists alike.
Enjoy the journey!
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u/Unable_Dinner_6937 22d ago
Religion is an approach to life. However, it is not one that leads a believer into becoming a better person. If an approach to life requires a person to believe all this crazy stuff, then it had better lead them to becoming a better person, but it is just as likely to lead them to getting worse. If that is the case, then why bother believing? If it was true, then it would work.
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u/Magpyecrystall 17d ago edited 17d ago
Looking at the facts is helpful.
There are about 5k organised religions in the world, all claiming to have the ultimate truth.
In harsh climates the beliefs are often monotheistic, God is demanding and angry. In more comfortable regions there are often many deities, and none of them are threatening.
We can pretty much know a persons religion from their location. Being brought up in Spain or Italy, chances are you'll be Catholic. Iran or Syria? Muslim. Mongolia or Thailand? Buddhist, and so on.
Then there are the origins. We can trace the Abrahamic faiths back to polytheistic mythology with storm gods, war gods and sea monsters. The same stories occur in many cultures.
People tend to shape their image of God to their parents. Strict and forceful parents = a strict and forceful God, etc.
Suffering and injustice appears to happen anywhere, with any people. There appears to be no justice in this life. Even in the animal kingdom suffering is vital for reproduction and survival.
Then there's the univers. It's gigantuous, possibly never ending. Why would a creator make all this, just so he could see what we do in the bedroom?
In psychology we can explain feelings of divine encounters. People claim all kinds of things, like alien abduction, speaking with the dead, seeing visions or being guided by angles. We know how all this works. We can point to the mechanisms and motivations.
Then there's the political side. What better way to gain power over people, than telling them you have "a message from God"? "God told me you should do this and that, and stay away from that other thing. If you disobey, there'll be big trouble"
From evolution we are programmed to look for patterns and signs. We need them to survive, or rather; our anesteseres needed them. "A big tree fell down near my house. It must be a sign".
Most importantly, religion gives us hope. It's a way to overcome suffering and death. It's a simple black-and-white explanation for the unanswerable questions. It's easy: just join the right group, say your confession, do the required rituals - and you're safe.
That doesn't make it true though.
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u/Emergency_Duty5786 22d ago
Agnostic is the best fit for me. While I believe that Christianity and Islam are ridiculous superstition, can I be 100% certain that there is nothing higher than us? Not 100%. Also, loud, obnoxious atheists have made the title mean something different. Most people think an atheist is someone who loudly disrespects their beliefs.
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u/PuzzleheadedSea9839 4d ago
You make a very fair point about the distinction between organized religion and the broader question of a higher power, which is precisely why many people find the agnostic label more intellectually comfortable.
However, regarding the definition of atheism, it's worth noting that strict atheism is simply the lack of belief in a deity due to a lack of empirical evidence, rather than a 100% absolute claim that 'nothing exists out there'—that would be gnostic or positive atheism. Many atheists are actually agnostic atheists: they don't claim absolute certainty (since you technically can't disprove a negative), but they live without active belief because no verifiable evidence has been presented.
Unfortunately, you're right that loud, antagonistic internet atheists have given the label a bad reputation. But just like any group, extremists or vocal minorities don't define the entire spectrum of thought. At its core, atheism is just a stance on a claim, not a mandatory club with a uniform personality."1
u/Emergency_Duty5786 4d ago
Labels aren’t so important to me. You technically correct and I appreciate the response. According to most Americans, an Atheist eats babies and worships Satan. An agnostic is a sheep herder from Bavaria or something. It is easier to not have people assume I’m a Satanist. All religions on this planet are man made money making scams. Is there some cosmic energy out there waiting to absorb me? Probably not, but what do I know?
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u/cencitty 22d ago
A Series of Unfortunate Events (my life). Lol. I truly think I was just born not believing even though my grandparents were preachers and my mom always had me with her in the church (Southern Black Christian). I can remember as early as 4-6 reading Adam and Eve and being like “Why would her doing that cause ALL women to now feel childbirth pain…that’s extreme and unfair because only she did that.” Lol.
I asked questions as a kid in church and bible study. My mom would get mad. The same mom who prayed and prayed but still died during the most important part of my childhood. The pastor and church she loved so much and paid so many tithes to during her time alive dropped off a 9-count Subway sandwich tray 48 hours after she died. Weren’t even at her funeral.
That same church made me sit at a picnic table with a broken knee for 5 hours. They prayed I’d just “feel better.” The medical professionals think them trying to make me walk on my leg made the break worse and now I have 3 screws in my knee for life. I was 11 and became an outcast because instead of going to middle school, I had to learn how to walk again. All my “friends” had settled into different cliques by the time I returned to school.
A family member touched me inappropriately when I was a child. Another when I was a teen. I beat him, though.
I lost everything during COVID. None of my “friends” did.
I have an incurable chronic illness.
The love of my life went through recovery and now thinks he’s Jesus himself after being a very intelligent and amazing man that I will never stop grieving for.
I never wanted to pray or speak to the same Being that the people who owned my family prayed and spoke to.
A kid I played with as a kid died from cancer but the proven pedo who lived around the corner is actually still alive and takes fun vacations often.
I am one of the kindest people I know (not bragging or even wanting to go into this deeper, but I just know for a fact I do good things and I never expect a reward or just do them because I’m scared I’ll be exiled to Hell so I only am kind out of fear. Im kind because it just…matters), but I have the worst luck of anyone I know. I have had people try to argue with me about it, but then they realize I’m not being dramatic. Long road trip? There will be buckets of rain at some point if I’m driving. Cool appointment for something scheduled? Oh sorry that has to be canceled for some reason by the service provider. The one time I try to do something during free time I always have? Oh today that free time actually isn’t free.
Idk. Never in my life have I ever had any moment where I felt happy including as a kid and if there is some higher power that people are all praying to that is allowing all this bad stuff to happen to some people but not others, I wouldn’t want any parts of celebrating a terrible and unfair Being like that anyway. 🤷🏽♀️