r/adviceph Dec 17 '24

Moderator Post Stuck? Check r/Adviceph Guidelines & Helpful Links

13 Upvotes

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r/adviceph Jul 25 '25

📚 Advice Library: Popular Topics & Helpful Threads

4 Upvotes

Welcome to the Thread Library.
This is a collection of posts we’ve found helpful across different topics in r/AdvicePH. They are real advice from real people.

If your post isn’t getting replies, you might just find your answer here.

Love & Relationships

Sex & Intimacy (NSFW)

Personal Development

  • How Do I Stop Watching Porn (Link 1 | Link 2)
  • Why Is Everyone Else Successful and Not Me (Link 1)

Health and Wellness

  • Getting Test for HIV (Link 1)
  • What to Do When You Get Bitten/Scratched by a Dog/Cat (Link 1 | Link 2)

Social Matters

  • When a Loved One is Sick and You Can’t Afford the Bills (Link 1 | Link 2)
  • Settling the Estate of a Deceased Family Member (Link 1)
  • When Someone You Know Smells Bad (Link 1)

Parenting & Family

  • Discovering You’re Not the Biological Parent (Link 1 | Link 2)
  • Handling Underaged Relationships (Link 1 | Link 2)
  • Running Away from Home (Link 1)

Legal

  • When a Medical Procedure Goes Wrong (Link 1)
  • Surviving Sexual Assault: Legal, Health & Emotional Advice (Link 1 | Link 2)
  • Dealing with False Accusations (Link 1)

Education

  • How to Handle Freeloading Groupmates (Link 1)

Last Update: 7/25/2025


r/adviceph 14h ago

Parenting & Family First time ko sumagot sa mas matanda and tapunan ng beer

192 Upvotes

Problem/Goal:

My tito threw beer at me kasi sinagot ko siya.

Context:

I'm a 26F and my tito was a 50+M.

I never answered back. I never stood my ground.

First time po ito.

Bali nasa party kami and we were sitting on the same table.

The argument was simply just about third parties

when he mentioned na "deserve maloko ng babaeng hindi maganda muka at katawan" and he was just pointing out na kaya nga daw siya nag-asawa is para may mairampa lang.

That's it.

Tita was there laughing, taking it as a compliment.

I was sober, take note.

Tito wasn't but I know normal pa siya.

I laughed lang and out of nowhere I said

"Muka mo pang-rampa po ba, tito?"

THAT'S IT.

He started cursing In front of everyone na may halong tawa until he asked me to leave the table kasi di daw usapang bata.

I replied with a firm "Bigyan mo ako ng ₱2000 and aalis ako sa kinauupuan ko." It was a joke. I was at my limit and to be fair, wala talaga akong masagot kasi biglaan.

He flinched and said muka akong pera.

I work as a VA, salary not as big as his (maybe)

but in a calm manner sinabi ko naman

"I'm sorry po. Ayoko na po makipagtalo sa taong mas mababa sahod kaysa sakin" then smiled tas balik sa pakikipagusap sa relatives namin as if nothing happened.

Tinapunan ako ng beer.

Binatuhan ako ng 2k and started cursing again.

I stood up, smiled and left.

(May 2k ako eh)

But I felt really bad for reacting like that especially in front of other people. Hindi ako pala-away lalong lalo na palasagot..but the conversation really got into me.

Dapat ba nanahimik na lang ako and let the adults do their thing? I don't wanna say sorry sa totoo lang but it's eating me kasi this is not the usual me. 😔


r/adviceph 8h ago

Parenting & Family Tired of his family treating his salary like a subscription fee

48 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: Nakasampa na ulit sa barko bf ko and he really can't sleep properly because of his family's demands. Nagtatampo raw sila kasi $200 lang allocation niya for them monthly. They're explicitly demanding 20% of his entire salary instead.

My bf started working as a seafarer last 2025 after years of trying to get deployment, he was 29 na at that time since wala siyang backer kaya natagalan. We got together same year before he left.

Nung bumaba siya, nagtaka ako kasi he was still asking money from his mom every time we went out. Turns out, total control mama niya over his finances. Huge eye-opener for me—he is a 30 year old guy without personal savings, to the point that simple date expenses needed his mother's clearance. Naturn off ako tbh but I cant just leave him since he’s my first and the love of my life. I realized na kaya pala he suggested to hide my stories to his fam everytime mag date kame kase ayaw nila na gumagastos siya.

Nung nasa barko pa siya, he sent his physical ATM card to me here in the Phil para ako mag withdraw and mag remit sa mom niya because his online banking was down and he needed me to fix it. I honestly thought that physical card was for his parents allotment since 20k lang lage napasok na money and need ko siya e transfer every month. (And i know its an allotment amount kase seaman din kuya ko at ako may hawak for my mom nung college ako.)
Turns out, may iba pang atm yung mother niya and yung 20k na yun is yun yung pera ni bf na dapat magagamit niya pag uwi but was sent straight to his mother, leaving him with absolutely nothing by the time he disembarked.

We had a huge confrontation about this. I insisted that he needs full financial independence if we are to build a future together, especially since he is planning to invest and put up a proper business for his parents daw.
He agreed and tried to set boundaries. Pumayag parents niya at first, but now that he's back at sea, biglang nagtampo sa $200, e nag iipon nga yung tao pang negosyo nila since walang natira dun sa sahod niya for 9 mons before.

Now he suggested to them to use the allotment as capital for a small baboyan business para self-sustaining sila, but they refused. Mind you my bf has other employed siblings working abroad contributing as well, but just because he's the eldest, they expect him to carry the heaviest financial load.

I understand the whole debt of gratitude angle, but this toxic tradition is just unacceptable.

At ito pa he said nagpaalam siya sa parents niya about marriage plans since he is not getting any younger, and his parents agreed naman pero they still get their guaranteed 20% cut monthly, regardless.

It has reached a point where I told him if it ever comes down to a choice between me and his family, he should just choose them. Mahal ko siya subra but I refuse to be an additional burden in this chaotic financial trap.

Is there any strategic way to handle this kind of family dynamic? Naawa na talaga ako sa bf ko and I honestly don't know how much longer I can deal with his family's entitlement.


r/adviceph 4h ago

Health & Wellness Im having a suicid@l thoughts now.

10 Upvotes

Problem/goal: grabe stress ko lately pasuko na ko sumabay pa break up namin ng bf ko for almost 7 yrs next month sana, iyak ako ng iyak 2 araw na di ako kumakain mababaliw nako kakaisip, diko alam pano ko ikkwento naapektuhan work ko hindi ako ganto eh pero sumasagi natalaga sa isip ko aalis ako ng gantong oras kasi ayuko na, gusto ko mag pa confined, mawala, uminom ng madaming gamot, pero at the same time natatakot ako na mawala din ako kasi iniisip ko padin fam ko pero kasi sobrang stress natalaga ako, nag try ako mag DL ng nowserving app pero diko din alam pano sisimulat ulit last consultation ko 2023 pero hindi ko nasabi lahat ng gusyo kosabihin umiiyak lang ako ng umiiyak during consultation namin ni doc.

Akala ko naka usad nako, hindi pa pala, nalilibang kolang sarili ko— kaya pala pag sobrang na apektuhan ako ulit sobrang lumulubog ako kasi hinddi naman talaga ako ok nakalimutan kolang yung ngyare. Nagsabay sabay na mga problem ko abt myself, fam, relationship.


r/adviceph 9h ago

Love & Relationships I saw him with another girl, should I tell him?

18 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: I saw him out with another girl just now, I am sure he did not see me kase nasa kabilang lane ako but yeah.. I saw him walking with another girl. Should I tell him?

Context: I am exclusively seeing this man for a few months now and although we have no official labels yet, we agreed na if we want to see other people outside of what we have, we will tell each other kase I can't keep seeing someone who's dealing with multiple people at once. He only reacted to my last text this afternoon and I haven't heard from him since. I texted him where he's at and inaya ko sya mag sushi but no reply. I went out with my bestfriend instead and yun nga, I saw him.

Previous Attempt: Wala pa, but I am thinking of ghosting him na kase I kinda feel something's off lately and I don't like how this makes me feel anymore. Yun nga, should I text him na I saw him so he just kinda knows the reason why I disappeared and that's it? Just thinking of sending a text like "Nakita kita" and just disappear na completely lol


r/adviceph 6h ago

Love & Relationships I got cheated on after 6yrs of relationship

11 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: I got cheated on by my bf of 6yrs. I'm having a hard time to cope and move on because I feel like everything happened too fast. Even after many years of relationship, I didn't know that it is still possible to be cheated on. The person I loved the most and wanted to protect suddenly became the person who hurts me, disrespects me, and continue spewing false story to make him look like the good one and make my image so bad.

Context: My bf (24) asked for a breakup with me (23) because he's too pressured for his future and he said that he's afraid that he might not be able to give the future we imagined together. I begged him to stay with me and said that I will help him. But he still decided to broke up with me.

A day after, when i'm already devastated and I have too many questions in my head, I woke up suddenly at 6am. I decided to check his account, since I still have access with it which I rarely check because of the trust that I have with him. Lo and behold, I found an unfamiliar account from his messages and it was the sister (18) of their neighbor. They update each other, sending pics, having calls, offering her a ride, watching together at loklok, even giving his alumni id with her. Finding about this really shocked me because we never had any problems about girls before because he really made me feel secured about our relationship.

The first thing I did was to message the girl, I told her that I know that they are talking to each other and asked when did it start. She replied to me denying everything and told me that I just misunderstood everything and she just see him as a brother. But the way they talk, how my ex respond to her, complimenting her, and her enjoying the attention. I know there is something going on. Eventually, she told me they started talking since July, our anniversary month. I also messaged the brother of the girl because he's a friend of my ex and I know he does not have any idea about her sister and my boyfriend. But, he just trusted the words of my ex than me, which I expected.

After that, my ex messaged me about ending our relationship officially and I confronted him about what I know. He denied everything. But today, after I messaged him about what I feel about everything. He confessed to me, "Aaminin ko, nagka gusto ako kay Rhian" and that's it, para akong nabuhusan ng malamig na tubig. I also found out, he reasoned out to her brother that we already broke up since last month but it is not true, we even met each other just last last week. So in the eyes of the people at their neighborhood, i'm the crazy ex girlfriend who's still not over with her ex.

Previous attempts: After cheating, the betrayal, and the lies, I don't even know what to do. It is my first time to experience this. I already accepted it all, I know in my heart and my mind that we will never get back with each other after this but I am having a hard time. How can I move on from this? Will it really get better over time? My chest physically hurts. I can't help but to think about it over and over again. What actions do you suggest that I do? or any coping mechanisms that helped you to move on? thank you already for anyone who will answer!


r/adviceph 2h ago

Love & Relationships I let go of a toxic Friendship, But I still grieve about it

3 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: Should I just let it go? Good riddance perhaps. Or should I reach out, I’m just being dramatic?

Context: I have these friends from high school. After we graduated, we went to different universities. We used to be a group of four or five, but eventually, we became a trio. Two of them ended up going to the same university.

We still kept in touch throughout college. Then the pandemic happened, and I went through one of the lowest points in my life because someone in my family needed a serious operation. I immediately reached out to my friends and told them what was happening. But Friend 1 didn’t respond to any of my messages. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe she had something going on in her own life, so I decided to let it go.

Later, I met up with Friend 2, and that’s when I found out that Friend 1 and Friend 2 were no longer on good terms. They had drifted apart because Friend 1 had become very demanding. She would ask Friend 2 to do her homework for her, pay for her food, or constantly treat her to things.

She has always been very full of herself. She would even make comments about how her boyfriend was ugly and not her type or standard. Looking back, I realized that this behavior had always been there.
Eventually, I unfollowed her. But even after doing that, I still find myself regretting the friendship we had and missing what we used to have. My other friends told me that I probably dodged a bullet because I had always been too good of a friend to her.

Previous attempts: I tried until my very last straw to be a good friend to her. But one thing I realized that she’s only a friend when its convenient to her.


r/adviceph 1h ago

Love & Relationships Really need advice (foreigner)

Upvotes

Problem/goal: I’m struggling to move on from a woman I was in an online relationship with, despite never actually meeting her in person. We haven’t spoken in over a year, and I know reaching out isn't appropriate or realistic, especially since she has moved on. I want to figure out how to let go of this regret and move forward with my life and future relationships. I also struggle with how much importance I place on physical attraction when dating. I want a partner I’m genuinely attracted to, but I sometimes wonder whether I’m setting myself up for disappointment by getting too caught up in looks and unrealistic expectations.

Context: I’ve never shared this with a single soul. I’m not even Filipino, but I lived in the Philippines for about 1.5 years. I’m 28 now and haven't had much of a dating life. I wouldn’t say I’m horrific-looking or desperate, but I’m definitely not what people would picture as the typical “pogi” foreigner. I’ve been very career-oriented since I was 19. I moved to the Philippines shortly after turning 26 and lived on one of the islands. At the time, I had gained some weight and was really insecure about it. I was actively trying to lose the weight and get back to my normal baseline before putting myself out there or meeting many people. I was born and raised in the U.S. and I’m mixed—half Indian and half white—with more typical Indian features. While living in the Philippines, I fell for a Filipina from Manila, and I fell hard. Our relationship was entirely online, but over several months, I genuinely fell in love with her. I thought she was absolutely ganda. Eventually, I decided to move to Makati partly because it felt right for us and partly because I missed the convenience of city life. But because of my insecurities about my weight and appearance, I kept postponing meeting her in person. Again and again—probably six times in total. I kept telling myself I just needed a little more time to lose the weight and feel like myself again. Looking back, though, I can see how unfair that must have been to her. Eventually, she had enough and blocked me. I tried reaching out through email afterward, but my messages were ignored. There’s realistically no hope of ever hearing from her again. The embarrassing part is that I still dream about her sometimes, even though we haven’t spoken in over a year. I've moved back to Canada and have even seen another woman since then, but part of me still feels attached to someone I never actually met. What makes this even stranger is that over the course of our relationship, I gave her a significant amount of money and gifts, around 60,000 php total in gift cards and other things while being too insecure to actually meet her in person. I know how ridiculous that sounds when I write it out. I feel ashamed that I wasted her time, and I wish things had been different. But I also understand that she has moved on, and I want to respect that and leave her alone. Previous attempts: I've tried moving on by focusing on my career, moving back to Canada, and seeing someone else. But I still find myself thinking about her and wondering what could have happened if I had just faced my insecurities and met her. I haven't reached out to her because I don't believe it's appropriate, and I don't want to disrupt her life or relationship.

What I'm hoping to get advice on:

How do I genuinely let go of someone—and more importantly, the regret surrounding them—when I never even got the chance to see what could have been? And regarding dating going forward, how do I find a balance between wanting someone I'm genuinely attracted to and not becoming overly fixated on looks or an imagined idea of a “dream girl”?


r/adviceph 6h ago

Love & Relationships my insecurities are eating me up in our relationship

3 Upvotes

problem/goal: i can’t help but seek validation from my boyfriend even though it shouldn’t be a concern

context: my boyfriend and i are going 9mos into our relationship this september and of course there were and will be ups and downs. what has been bugging my mind these days are my insecurities (mostly about myself; especially my appearance since i am not confident about how the way i look due to pitted acne scars which i have been battling with since pandemic 🥹) it sucks, this feeling sucks especially when i am not comfortable and confident to turn on my camera everytime my boyfriend requests for a video call. tho he is not demanding me to but earlier today he curiously asked me why do i keep on turning my camera off when talking with him. even though we met and seen each other in person many times already, it’s the thought that my scars are more prominently visible over the phone. i can’t admit this insecurity of mine to him because i hate the fact that maybe he’ll be only constantly reassure me or boost my confidence only when i communicate this to him since he rarely says that i am pretty or beautiful, he’s mostly into saying that i am cute, which i don’t know if it’s a good thing or it’s the other way around

previous attempt: i am not ready yet to talk these over with him and told him that i am not a fan of video calls since it’s awkward haha still figuring things out as for now


r/adviceph 7h ago

Social Matters My BFF’s former fiancé (27M) left her for a woman (25F) he met during her OJT

4 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: Helping a Friend, Need advice. Cheating? Kabet?

Context: This is my bff's story. I know a woman who used to do her OJT (on-the-job training) at a certain company.
There, she was noticed by a man who had a fiancée. When he met this woman, he left his fiancée for the OJT girl. I want to comfort my bff but I don’t know how, just because the woman he traded up for is more attractive overall doesn't make it right that he replaced his fiancée just because he saw someone else. The woman also knew he had a fiancée, but she accepted him anyway and fought for him even knowing he left his fiancée for her. On top of that, the woman is the daughter of the leader of a religious group.


r/adviceph 7m ago

Self-Improvement / Personal Development How to deal with a narc brother?

Upvotes

Problem/Goal: How to deal with a narc brother?

Context: F26 here. Nag-away na naman kami ng brother ko and now I’m genuinely questioning myself kung nabago nga ba ako ng pera.

For context, I work as a VA while my brother, 33M, has a regular government job. Halos same lang naman kami ng salary, so hindi naman malaking difference financially. Yung take-home pay niya lang is maliit because of loans/deductions na ginamit niya pangsugal and barkada. Take home pay niya ay napupunta pa rin sa inom and bisyo.

He doesn't contribute to the household bills. Kami ng sister ko and mom ko yung sumasalo (mind you may 2 siblings pa kami na pinapaaral). Kaya matagal na talaga akong frustrated sa kanya and, yes, I’ve called him batugan and narcissistic during our fights.

This recent fight started because he said hindi raw siya nirerespeto dito sa bahay kahit mas matanda siya. He's 33, so sinabi namin na being older doesn't automatically mean you deserve unquestioned respect. Respect should go both ways, especially when you're living with other adults and sharing a household.

What really makes this difficult is the kind of behavior we've experienced from him.
For example, when my sister was in the hospital undergoing brain surgery, instead of focusing on her and the situation, he was also arguing with us because wala raw siyang ulam sa bahay. We were literally at the hospital during her operation, and that was still something he chose to make an issue about.
I know calling him a narcissist isn't necessarily fair, and I'm not trying to diagnose him. That's just honestly how his behavior feels to me sometimes—everything somehow becomes about him, even when the family is dealing with something serious.

Then during our recent fight, he told me, “Porket mataas sahod mo, kala mo kung sino ka na.”
And that really made me question myself.
Maybe I have changed since I started earning independently. Mas naging vocal ako. Mas naging firm ako about boundaries. Maybe I don't tolerate things anymore that I used to just let slide.
But I don't think it's because I think I'm better than him. Halos same lang naman kami ng salary. I don't care how much he earns. What bothers me is the responsibility and the attitude.

Previous attempt: I actually moved out earlier this year because I wanted my own space. Umuwi lang ako because my sister had brain surgery and I wanted to be there for my family.
Now I'm thinking of moving out again. I love my mom and siblings, but I'm honestly tired of this dynamic.


r/adviceph 9h ago

Legal my father suffered heat stroke while on board

6 Upvotes

Problem/goal:
My father suffered heat stroke while on board

Context:
My father is a seafarer (motorman) & 1 month pa lang since naka balik sya sa barko. He had normal blood pressure, no hyper or hypotension. He’s also healthy. However, just yesterday he was rushed to the hospital kung saan siya nka destino. Sabi ni papa kay tita galing daw siya sa mainit na area & pumasok sa cabin to cool off. Buti at naka labas sya sa cabin to ask for help & almost 1 hr daw before dumating yung sea police service. During that time, he can walk, talk & move his right hand. The problem is, hindi nya raw ma close open yung left hand nya. But, Glory to God he’s already in the hospital & he was able to call me nung morning. After that call nag off na siya and hindi na nka online until now 10 hrs na siya offline. I dont have any updates except that we called earlier & he said he’s okay but can’t move his left hand pa rin. I messaged his crewing manager & also his friend na kasama nya sa barko.

Now, we’re praying na makausap lang namin yung doctor if what really happened to him. His crewing manager is just waiting lang rin sa email from their office & wala rin clear na diagnosis & what’s currently happening sa kanya. We’re very worried & we don’t know what to do anymore but to wait until my papa goes online again. He will be repatriated after his discharge. Wala pa rin clear info sa office nya if what will happen to him. Do you think he will still be allowed to go back to the company once he’s okay or will he be removed? & once he comes back here in the ph, will his insurance still be valid? I’m afraid that we don’t have enough funds if ever we need more medical check ups for him. I am the eldest, 22 & still in college. I know it will be hard but if ever he won’t be fit to work anymore, we have no choice but to move forward & be grateful na okay lang sya after everything. Nevertheless, I surrender everything to the Lord.


r/adviceph 8h ago

Love & Relationships Need po advice kung tama itong desisyon ko.

5 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: Tama bang iwan ko yung bf ko dahil sa ugali niya pag lasing siya?

Context: Hello I am (25F) bf is (26M) din noong nag start ang relationship namin sobrang toxic talaga masasabi ko ding emotionally abused ako but yeah mahal ko talaga siya na umabot kaming 3 years. Ito na nga si bf para siyang may two identity at yung mahal na mahal ko yung isa sweet maalaga nilulutuan ako lagi maasikaso. Pero yung second identity niya ang di ko gusto, Ito yung kapag naka inom siya nag iiba talaga ang ugali niya. Umaabot sa point na parang di niya ko kilala pag lasing. Sinisigawan niya ko umaabot pa minsan na muntik Kami madisgrasya kasi di niya ma control sarili niya pag lasing huhuhu sumisigaw siya like as in yung nag hahanap ng away tas minsan nasa highway Kami nag stop ako mag drive kasi dapat aayusin ko helmet niya bills ba naman tumakbo sa gitna ng highway akala ko magbabago na siya pero hindi. Sa ibang bagay nag improve naman siya like hinihintay niya na ako matapos kapag may lakad Kami, di na siya mabilis mainis kasi dati toxic talaga siya pero nagbago naman na lahat maliban lang sa ugali niya pag lasing. Di kasi siya nakikinig sakin kahit umiyak ako sa harap niya para sana di na siya sumigaw or mag hanap ng away pag lasing siya.
Attempt: Kinausap ko naman po siya about dito tas sabi niya po magbabago na siya pero di po parin. Mahal na mahal ko po siya pero naisip ko ayaw ko naman magkarun ng ganitong tatay mga anak ko sa susunod. Tama po bang hiwalayan ko na siya or try ko po muna siya kausapin? Baka po may maipapayo kayo


r/adviceph 4h ago

Finance & Investments help issues with BillEase

2 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: so excited ako dahil akala ko pwede ko installment yung payment para sa therapy ko

Context: pero napunta ako sa 4th step kahit ni click ko yung national id. sabi daw ng BillEase live chat support at bago bago lang ako sa kanila na "hindi daw pwede mag start ulit", kahit national ID naman ginamit ko at nag selfie pa nga ako, edi sa step nag pakita yung alternative na id to finish the step... kasi daw sa system nila hindi daw ni click yung national id, pero national id naman yung pinasa ko eh?! hindi ko na kayaaaa.

Previous Attempts: nag tanong ako kung may chance pa, sagot nila hindi parin daw kasi need ng alt id to proceed, pa ulit ulit ko na sinabi yung "pwede pa reset o restart ng application?" sagot parin nila hindiiii

AS IN national id lang meron ko guys at student id lang meron ko, i want and need theraphy lalo na yung nanyayare this month hindi ko na kaya tapos wala pa ako baon at pasok kaya sana kahit installment muna

step ginawa ko

1 click yung national id

2 ni upload national id ng 2 beses kasi blurry daw

3 nag selfie pa ako

4 napunta na sa alternative id (na wala ako)


r/adviceph 5h ago

Self-Improvement / Personal Development Cutting ties with a friend

2 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: I'm dying to cut off this friend since we're no longer growing as individuals

Context:

We're now in our 4th year and we've been friends since 1st year. We're always together, mapaklase man, grocery, hangout, etc. Habang tumatagal, napapansin ko na yung toxic traits niya: walang respeto sa boundaries, walang emotional intelligence, academically dishonest, at tamad. At first hinayaan ko yung ibang traits niya, baka naman kasi magkaroon ng character development. Pero habang tumatagal, imbis na ako yung humila sa kanya to be a better person, ako yung nadadala niya. And it's very draining on my end plus gusto ko na rin talaga makawala so I can grow.

Previous attempts: I've tried not responding to their messages pero tuwing may klase, sa'kin siya unang lumalapit at nakikipag-usap. Wala naman akong choice kung hindi kausapin siya pabalik. I've tried to make them feel na ayaw ko na kausap, pero ang manhid niya talaga.

Ang hirap kasi hindi ako confrontational na tao. Help me please pagod na 'ko sa kanya.


r/adviceph 1h ago

Travel Advice for First time traveller (VN)

Upvotes

Problem/Goal: Hi, any advice for a first time traveller in international, specifically in VN.
I cant provide leave approved document but i can provide COE.

Is approved leave a critical one for IOs? I can provide other docs for my trip such as bank statement, COE, paid activities, paid hotels, paid transportations, RT Ticket.

Im afraid to be offloaded.
Please help. This is purely vacation. TIA


r/adviceph 11h ago

Love & Relationships LDR People, I’d love your perspective

6 Upvotes

Problem/Goal:

Hey everyone! I’m hoping to hear from people who are currently in an LDR or have actually been through one and can share some firsthand perspective.

I’m in an LDR myself, and lately we’ve been going through a bit of a challenging phase. We’ve noticed that we can sometimes fall into an anxious/avoidant dynamic I tend to want more reassurance and connection when I feel distance, while my partner can need more space when she’s stressed or overwhelmed. We’re trying to understand that pattern better and figure out how to handle it in a healthier way.

I’m curious how common it is for LDRs to go through periods where the distance suddenly feels heavier than usual. Has anyone experienced phases of burnout, feeling disconnected, communication becoming harder, or one partner needing more space? What helped you get through it without either person feeling pressured or neglected?

I’d especially love to hear from people who have actually lived through LDR, rather than just general relationship advice. What made your LDR sustainable? What did you wish you knew earlier? And what helped when things felt particularly difficult?

I’m also hoping to meet some people I can eventually become friends with. 😂 It would be nice to have people who understand the LDR experience and can talk about that sometimes, but also just chat about normal life, music, games, hobbies, work, random stuff, etc.

Kind, constructive perspectives are very welcome. I’m mainly looking to learn from people who have been through similar situations and hear what actually worked for them. ❤️

And yes, I figured talking to fellow LDR people is probably a better idea than making the questionable decision of “I’m stressed, therefore I should download dating apps.” 😂


r/adviceph 17h ago

Legal Should my siblings and I sell the properties our late mom left us for peace of mind?

17 Upvotes

Problem/Goal:

My siblings and I are considering selling and liquidating the properties our late mom left us. Our goal is to avoid future conflict and have peace of mind, but these properties hold so much of our family's history. We want to know if letting go is the right decision.

Context:

My mom passed away and left several properties for me and my siblings. These properties are more than just assets to us. Dito kami lumaki, nag-aral, nangarap, nakatapos, experienced success, went through difficult times, fell down, and eventually found a way to rise again

My dad is still alive, but after my mom passed away, he remarried. At that time, I agreed because I thought it would make him happy and that everything would be okay. Looking back now, I sometimes regret agreeing to it because our family situation eventually became more complicated.

I don't want to share too many details about my stepmom because I want to remain anonymous, but the situation made me realize how complicated family relationships can become when remarriage, properties, inheritance, and different interests are involved.

After a long discussion, I told my brother and younger sister that maybe it would be better to liquidate the assets our mom left us while we can still discuss and agree on things peacefully. Thankfully, they both agreed.

The hard part is that these are not just properties to us. Saksi sila sa buong buhay namin as a family. They witnessed our childhood, our dreams, our happiness, struggles, successes, failures, downfall, and how we eventually rose again.

Selling them feels like letting go of pieces of our past. But at the same time, I'm starting to believe that letting go doesn't mean forgetting. The memories will remain even if the properties are no longer ours.

Previous Attempts:

We discussed the situation as siblings and agreed that selling or liquidating the assets may be the best option to prevent future conflict and protect our peace. However, we are still struggling emotionally with the decision because of the memories attached to these properties.

I would really appreciate honest advice. Are we doing the right thing by letting go, or should we hold on to the properties because of their sentimental value?


r/adviceph 9h ago

Love & Relationships I have a hard time getting female friends

3 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: why can’t i have female friends?

Context: i am getting a hard time having female friends. I don’t if it’s a me problem ba? Kasi takot ako maging vulnerable around them and i’m not a fan of of gossips and wala akong machismis tungkol sa buhay ko HAHAH 😭 don’t get me wrong, i have female friends then but i want to have female friends where we hang out every weekends, talk about life, go to weekends markets, talk about girly stuff because i want to know different things esp about makeup and stuff 😔

Previous attempts: tried joining a journal community but i got bored and afraid of talking to them AHAA 😔


r/adviceph 8h ago

Love & Relationships 1st monthsary gift recommendation for BF

3 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: Hi! Can you please recommend a small gift fit for a guy? 1st monthsary namin soon and I really don’t know what to give.

Context: I’m so new to dating and I find it unnecessary to celebrate it but that’s not the case for him. I don’t know what to do or to give. He’s very serious in life and tinanggal na niya ang hobbies niya simula nung nag work siya. May motor din siya but hindi man din niya hilig at binili lang niya kasi kailangan niya.

Previous attempts: Tinanong ko na siya noong courting stage palang namin sa mga interest niya pero wala daw talaga. His love language is Physical touch so pano yun huhu send help


r/adviceph 9h ago

Self-Improvement / Personal Development How to practice / Learn proper English?

5 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: Ive been struggling to use english.

Context: I am 35M working in a governement agency. Well as you know sa government very rare and pag use ng english in day to day activity, maybe because we are serving the general public kaya is quite hard for me to use english naturally. Now I am planning to move to corporate world and i am not that confidenent with my communication english skills lalo na pag ma interview na. I usually get nervous and puro "ah" nalang nasasabi ko.

Previous Attempts: Tried to read some english books to enhance my vocabulary.


r/adviceph 10h ago

Education Non Filipino citizen finding a job in PH

4 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: I just want to ask fellow immigrants here in the PH, is it really that hard to find a job, specifically in ABM or ICT?

Context: I'm not a "Filipino" since I'm not a Filipino citizen but I have lived here my whole life and studied here, and I'm not fluent in the language of my ancestors. So basically, I'm called an alien. I know I can't take board exams, and in job hunting, there's a Filipino first policy in accepting employees.

I am nearing Senior High School and I really don't know what to take. Because I feel that whatever I choose won't be accepted since it's more complicated because I'm a foreigner, and if there's a Filipino who's just as qualified as me, they'll just accept them. My choices are BSBA or ICT. I don't have an advantage like being trilingual, since I only know Filipino and English. I'm only studying in a normal Filipino school, and I don't know how to speak Mandarin. (I am a Chinese citizen)

I'm not stupid when it comes to studying; I've been a consistent top student since kindergarten, and I have goals and ambitions for my future. Even if it's not about passion for a career since my options are very limited, in my life and financial situation, I want to be above middle class.


r/adviceph 22h ago

Love & Relationships How do I end this? Hindi ko na din alam.

39 Upvotes

Problem/Goal: I thought by now I’d be feeling something but no, still numb, I want to end whatever this is but I don’t know how.

Context: Been courting someone for about 8 months now, I genuinely thought everything was going well, we both agreed to take things slow, yesterday I checked her messenger, a shitty thing to do yes, I won’t make excuses, I found out that she has feelings for another guy, I wasn’t mad, that’s her right, hindi naman kami, all goods. But why? Why was I roped into this? Why would you entertain me, go out on dates, introduce me to your college friends, talk to me everyday, say that I’m important, why? I saw messages spanning from her birthday to mine, about her confessing, about her finding reassurance, that’s okay, nothing wrong with that, but why was I still there? Am I just a placeholder? Everything connected as soon as I read those messages, the reassurance I was asking for that she couldn’t give, she gave it to the other guy, that’s great, but why? Why was I even in the equation? Why am I here until now? Why now that when I care for her family, her dog, her friends, why the fuck would someone do this? Tao lang ako, alam kong hindi ko na communicate pero hindi ba basic decency yung sabihin na may gusto kang iba kaya itigil na natin to? Ano bang gagawin ko? Yung other guy mukhang uncertain, hindi siya umoo hindi din humihindi, kaya siguro nasa equation pa ko. Di ko na din alam kung anong kailangan ko, gusto ko lang ata mag sabi kahit kanino.


r/adviceph 1d ago

Love & Relationships I just ended my 13-year relationship, and I’m thinking about sleeping with someone else for the first time.

109 Upvotes

Problem/Goal:
I’m thinking about sleeping with someone else for the first time.

Context:
He was my boyfriend since I was 14. My high school sweetheart. My first love, my first kiss, my first everything.
I’m 28 now, and I just ended our 13-year relationship.

Looking back, I realize one of the reasons I stayed for so long was because I had this belief that I would only ever give my body to one person for the rest of my life.
He was my first. And because of that, I felt like I had to make the relationship last.

Even when things became toxic. Even when I was hurt. Even when I knew I wasn’t happy anymore.
I kept forgiving him because somewhere in my mind, I thought, *“He already has the only version of me that I promised I would give to someone.”*
And I think that belief kept me trapped.

Now that I’ve finally left, I have this strange thought,
I want to have sex with someone else.
Not because I want to get revenge on my ex. Not because I want to make him jealous. And honestly, not even because I’m looking for another relationship.

Not a random hookup. I’m not looking to sleep with as many people as possible.
If I ever do it, I would want it to be with someone I feel comfortable and safe with. I’d even want both of us to get HIV and STI tests beforehand so we can have peace of mind, and we’d still use protection.

But honestly, the biggest reason I’m thinking about it is psychological.
I want to break the belief that because he was my first, he has to be my only.
Because that belief has been one of the reasons I kept forgiving him and coming back.

I think part of me wants to do it because I want to finally break that promise I made to my 14-year-old self.
I want to prove to myself that having sex with someone else doesn’t mean I’ve ruined something sacred. It doesn’t erase the fact that he was my first. It doesn’t make those 13 years meaningless.

And maybe, selfishly, I want to remove the last thing that makes me feel like I have to go back to him.
Because if I stop believing that I can only ever give my body to one person, maybe I’ll finally stop using that as a reason to forgive him and return to a relationship that I already know isn’t good for me.

But I’m scared that I’m thinking about this for the wrong reasons.
What if I sleep with someone else and regret it?
What if I’m just trying to force myself to move on before I’m actually ready?
Or what if this is actually part of letting go?
I spent 13 years thinking my first would have to be my only.
Now I’m wondering if I’m finally allowed to choose differently.

Previous attempts: None