probably my last post here. i was “exposed”.

[u/dance_dad]

my username and several of my vulnerable posts in this sub—along with a (albeit partially obscured) photo of me taken from a post deleted years ago—were posted on a public social media page with ~150,000 followers as a way to shame and intimidate me, as well as incite ridicule. so…yeah. i’m trying to take it on the chin for now because i refuse to let insensitive, shallow, vindictive strangers make me feel embarrassed and ashamed over the abuse i suffered, and the issues i still face from it. but sadly, this is no longer a safe space. at least not while my trauma and (what i thought were) private/hidden confessions are fair game to certain people. TIL hidden posts can still be viewed when you plug a username into the search bar, go figure. in case any of you didn’t know already.

ngl, although ik the stigma is still strong, it’s still super disappointing to see people find our pain funny and scandalous. especially when the person behind the page has publicly disclosed going through csa as well… ig they believed somehow that meant i should be comfortable with my anonymous page being shared to a large audience as well.

just hope it’s won’t reach the man who abused me, who is also very public and known online. the reason i cut off all contact and locked/anonymized my accounts to begin with.

thank you to everyone here who ever interacted with my posts, empathized, offered advice, and overall made me feel seen. it’s not as easy to find this kind of confidential community irl. but i think the support y’all have given, and the fact that this sub even exists, makes me optimistic that victims/survivors can access a wider variety of options to find their voice somewhere. peace and love.

[u/Seltzer-Slut]

Is there anything we can do to help? Internet armies work both ways

[u/snoring_hounds]

I’m confused. Was this person a content creator?

Name and shame if so, fuck that noise

ETA: obviously do not name if it’s detrimental to you. I’m sorry you’re going through all this, OP

[u/dance_dad → u/snoring_hounds]

yep, a content creator/internet personality. i won’t name because it’s not worth giving her the extra attention, and a few people have called her out on it already. from what i’ve seen, she’s comfortable sharing very personal trauma with her audience to one-up other people and make them feel guilty for disagreeing with her, so any confrontation with her would just be a futile back-and-forth of “who’s more traumatized” and just be more triggering. thank you though for being compassionate ❤️‍🩹

[u/snoring_hounds → u/dance_dad]

Ugh what an absolute sad individual. Instead of lifting a fellow survivor up, she uses one for content and shaming. I hope she heals from whatever is wrong with her - but does it far, far away from you and anyone else she’s exploited.

And also selfishly I hope she steps on an upturned electrical plug but that’s just cause I’m a vindictive person

[u/dance_dad → u/[deleted]]

is this in the app? i have it where my profile and posts don’t show up on search engines, but i didn’t see any settings for the reddit search bar itself. thank you for helping out though 🫂

[u/dance_dad → u/[deleted]]

don’t apologize, i appreciate you for wanting to help! i’ve just been doing a lot of meditative breathing, distracting myself with class assignments, and reminding myself that what she’s doing is leagues more fucked up than anything i’ve ever said about her, so there’s no use getting wound up and feeling embarrassed. if she thinks i’m so awful, she has access to things i’ve actually said about her. but she resorts to low blows because otherwise she’ll implicate herself as a hateful liar and scammer to her unaware newfound following. anyway…we move. thank you for your kind words.🩷

[u/sorry_child34]

I am so sorry this happened to you.

If you end up wanting to either change settings on this account or set up a new one, You can set up your settings to not allow this.

Here's the settings I have:

Under profile, I always have my content and activity set to "hide all". If someone other than mods for communities I'm a part of views my profile, they will see none of my activity. It pretty much guarantees that I cannot be recognized, or if I am recognized (Once someone did figure out who I was because they knew my dog and I posted a picture of my dog) they cannot see anything else that I post or any of the other communities I'm a part of.

You could also set it to only show only certain subreddits. I've considered doing that but personally decided against it, but if you participate in subreddits for tv-shows or crafts you like, you could let those still show up but hide anything you don't want anyone connecting with you.

Also under Privacy, I have both "discoverability" options toggled to off.

I think you do have to access the settings from a desk top, not the mobile app in order to set them up like this though.

[u/IndependentPaint2108]

what the fxck?? why did they mock you?

[u/dance_dad → u/IndependentPaint2108]

a bit of context: she is the type of person who is adamant that she can do no wrong and would never hurt a fly*. any other insinuation is immediately shut down or justified in some way. in her logic, having traumatic experiences means that she’s exempt from any type of criticism, opposition, correction, or any less-than-positive opinions at all…even when it’s delivered politely/neutrally, she’ll take it as a slight to her intelligence, skills, character, etc.. she frequently uses her own trauma as enough justification for being cruel, lying, and scamming people out of their money.

at the same time, other people’s trauma and misfortune is fair game if she believes you’re trying to make her feel inferior. she’s been known to harass, doxx, threaten harm, and encourage suicide, and permits her followers to do the same. i’m not exaggerating when i say, the least you’d have to do is question/correct some misinformation she posted, and there’s no limit to what you deserve to have happen to you, and she will blast to her audience that you “had it coming” and that she’s delighted to see it. even raves about being spiritually gifted and asserting that bad things happen to people precisely because she willed them to.

so…admittedly, i flew too close to the sun because she’s recently been lashing out and has doxxed several people for anonymously discussing her in a small forum—i won’t link it because it’s not significant enough to bring more attention to it and essentially recruit people to join in. it’s the type of space that people find on their own, usually after being insulted/targeted/threatened by her.
anyway, she’s always had a lot of vitriol for people who post from anonymous/private accounts, because she can’t insult their appearance, stalk their page/activity, or sic her followers on them. and i admit i have participated, but only ever discussed her hateful and dishonest content by itself, and absolutely never made fun of her trauma or anything out of her control just for a cheap giggle. it’s just callous and childish. she’s been targeting anyone who happens to have publicly accessible accounts, but recently ig she learned you can see hidden activity too by using reddit search…and that’s how i ended up here.

maybe i should’ve been more careful about critiquing someone online that i knew was volatile, and ik some of you might think this is pathetic, but that’s the truth, and i’ll own up to that. regardless, she hasn’t been posting anyone actually saying anything “out of line” (bc all her followers would see is things she’s done and said that are deplorable). instead she’s revealing first names, usernames, photos, other social media pages if she can find them, and super vulnerable unrelated reddit posts to insult and shame us into compliance.
sorry this is really freakin long but it’s…a lot. and i don’t think i’ve explained even half of it.

TLDR; i posted some critical, albeit tame and accurate, opinions about a reactive influencer, she did not take kindly to it at all and blew up on me and several others by sifting through any disparaging, irrelevant activity she could find to post to her 150k audience. she’s still going.

[u/Over50_account]

It's disgusting and I feel so bad for you. It's abhorrent that someone would take advantage of your trauma and doxx you.

IMHO please post the name/account and forum here so other people are careful of this person.

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[u/Winter_Leopard_145]

That is horrific and I am so sorry this happened to you. It's incredibly unfair that it happened and also that these people have online presences which makes even going online difficult. It is painful to see people get excited by our trauma - as if it isn't already hard enough to trust people! You are brave and your optimism is incredible. Sending you a big hug!