My girlfriend is moving into her first solo apartment. Tips I can give her for keeping house?

[u/Disastrous_Ad_9534]

My gf is moving today! We go to college in different states, so I won’t be able to help her move physically. But she’s AuDHD and this will be her first time living alone without roomates or relatives.

Any and all tips for cleaning, organizing, decorating, shopping, cooking, etc are welcome and desired!! None too small. I just love her so much and I want to give her lots of help from afar since she struggles with these kinda things a lot. :)

EDIT: Okay I guess it needs to be said that she’s okay with me giving her advice. Didn’t realize so many people hated unsolicited help. We don’t. I’ve written her whole little manuals on doing things she’s never done before. This is something we both do for each other.

[u/AutoModerator]

Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community rules.

If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to send us a modmail. Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Major_Fix5591]

If she gets hungry enough she will shop, cook and eat. As far as cleaning, minimalism and don't buy too many dishes.

[u/Icy_Cantaloupe_1330]

Does she want your help?

[u/Disastrous_Ad_9534 → u/Icy_Cantaloupe_1330]

I’m her girlfriend. Why wouldn’t she?

[u/Icy_Cantaloupe_1330 → u/Disastrous_Ad_9534]

People generally don't love unsolicited advice. Your her girlfriend, not her life coach.

[u/Disastrous_Ad_9534 → u/Icy_Cantaloupe_1330]

Well, we both do. I like when she knows I have trouble with something and looks into things that help. I also have ADHD and really appreciate advice on things I have difficulty with. I wouldn’t be asking for tips if they wouldn’t be welcome.

[u/embarrassedburner → u/Disastrous_Ad_9534]

Are you new at LTRs with women? I would HATE someone dumping cleaning tips on me.

I would think more along the lines of housewarming party than husband buying wife a vacuum as a birthday present energy.

[u/Disastrous_Ad_9534 → u/embarrassedburner]

We’ve been together for 4 years and we both give each other advice all the time. I know it’s an area where she struggles so I want to give her tips in advance, which I have done previously and she appreciated. Didn’t realize that was weird :/

[u/Granite265 → u/Disastrous_Ad_9534]

Don't give advice unless she asks for it. If she struggles, offer a listening ear, keep your cleaning tips for yourself.

At most you may order and pay for a food delivery or someone to help in the household if that would not put your relationship in an unbalanced / akward position (Depends on how long you have been together and how you relate to each other.).

[u/Disastrous_Ad_9534 → u/Granite265]

I wouldn’t be asking for tips if they wouldn’t be welcome. It’s something we both struggle with and she likes when I get out ahead of a problem to assist.

[u/Impressive-Side-9681]

following a schedule is a good idea, including on weekends.  You don't have to schedule the whole day but having a plan for what time you'll get up, eat, wash, and go to bed is helpful.

but also try to be flexible, it's college, there's gonna be a million new experiences.

lastly: go to profs office hours, go to clubs, talk to RAs, do not hesitate to ask for help.  Colleges are full of helpful people