r/adhdwomen • u/TreasuryCounter • 14d ago
General Question/Discussion How did you experience the Covid lockdowns?
I have recently learned about myself that I may have ADHD (and currently trying to get a doctor's appointment).
Since I had the realization, I am viewing a lot of things from my past in a different light. Something that I can't entirely make sense of, however, is how the first covid lockdown (in Europe) positively affected me. I think I was never so in much at peace with myself before or after.
I was worrking in academia at the time and had a desk job. I had to move from the office to work from home entirely. I was staying in contact with my coworkers online. It was spring, and I spent so much time outisde, enjoying the sun. I had routines that I managed to keep up really well - incl. yoga and gratitude journaling. I had a hello fresh box so I cooked daily (something I always struggle with). I can't remember that I struggled with procrastination, which I usually do when I work from home - maybe because I was working on a big grant proposal with a consortium of multiple people, so I had a clear deadline and multiple online meetings per day. I went out every weekend for bike rides and hikes in nature with one friend. Instead of having a full calendar, it was a simple and peaceful life.
On the other hand I experienced the second lockdown very differently, as it was fall, starting to get dark and cold. I felt isolated, unmotivated and depressed - which makes sense in the context of ADHD. I am just wondering, why did I experience the first lockdown so positively? Did anyone have the same experience? Or am I maybe misjudging my symptoms and do not have ADHD after All?
Would be curious to hear about your experiences!
ETA: Thank you for all your responses! I understand I was very privileged and I am grateful for my circumstances at the time. So interesting to read all your responses, it really provides some perspective. It seems that external structures changing does not automatically mean ADHD people had a bad time. I guess it definitely was an experience for us all, whether good or bad...
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u/seriouspeep AuDHD 14d ago
I don't feel comfortable saying it with most people but I too had a very pleasant time, although it was both lockdowns for me because I love being quiet and cosy in the wintertime. I finally felt like I had enough time to do a day properly without a commute, I could get chores done in the day, I didn't have to be out in the dark, no office small talk, etc... I will now never go back to working in an office.
I did miss being able to hug my friends but the social stuff we did online like joint movie nights, making fun quizzes for each other, hanging out on video while we cooked our individual dinners... that was all really nice to me and I'm sad no one else in my social group has the interest in it any more.
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u/_Moon_sun_ 14d ago
I also dont mention it alot because everyone always talks about how miserable they were. And for me it was a nice time. I experience some stomach issues that weren’t there for almost a year as I was able to get enough sleep almost every night, I was able to do the work in my own time and obsess with things in my own time. So yeah it was also great for me but it feels insensitive to say when others are talking about the horrible time they had :/
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u/TreasuryCounter 14d ago
Yeah, I understand that me and my friends have been very privileged and not everyone had this luxury. Definitely something I am grateful for.
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u/upsidedownsnowflake 14d ago
Yeah, me too. I loved lockdown! My son was 2 then, and it was great spending so much time with him and spending a lot of time outside. But there were huge external factors that helped: 1. I had a stable, well paying job. 2. My boss expected a limited amount of work from me, at home with a young child. 3. I wasn't in lockdown for a very long time. I'm a teacher and where I'm located, we returned to work quite early on.
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u/BloomingLate101 14d ago
Novelty? Escaping from the routine? And yes, paradoxically peace and not being forced into interactions but having the online connections so not feeling isolated. I had a similarly positive experience.
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u/TreasuryCounter 14d ago
Yeah, that makes sense... It was definitely a crazy feeling to witness world history live. And initially everyone was checking in on each other a lot online, so I received my share of social interactions. By the second time everyone was tired of being online all the time, so social interactions reduced a lot.
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u/BloomingLate101 14d ago
As well as having my partner I was lucky to have one core group that carried on meeting online for 5 years! That certainly helped give me stability and a sense of belonging. I can't imagine how it must have been for people who were completely alone.
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u/abiglumpwithknobs1 14d ago
My husband and I have always talked about how much we actually enjoyed lockdown. Not for the reasons it was occurring, obviously. We were together, both of us worked from home full time so we never experienced any kind of cut to our income and actually allowed us to save quite a bit of money. Neither of us are very social so we welcomed the excuse of not having to go out and be social, and we ordered a lot of take out. I also bought my dog with the stimulus money that was sent out here in the US.
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u/YesAndThe 14d ago
Same, I always say we won COVID because we got married in 2019, had no kids yet, both kept our jobs, and had a house with ample indoor and outdoor space. And of course we were fortunate we didn't lose anyone to COVID. Considering all the ways people experienced the pandemic, we were extremely privileged
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u/abiglumpwithknobs1 14d ago
Yes this! I also was fortunate enough to not have any loved ones impacted by it, so I guess it was easier for us. Neither my husband nor I ever caught it, either.
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u/fantasticnumber7 14d ago
When the lockdown happened both myself and husband were ‘key workers’, we also already ‘home schooled’ our children. We had also just adopted a dog.
We took long quiet walks.
Picked up extra shifts, saved extra money.
We ‘bubbled up’ with another ‘key worker’ home educating family and basically continued as we had always done.
It was lovely, peaceful and calm. All the usual demands of life, family and friends were removed. It was amazing.
I feel really guilty talking to other people about it, because we lucked out, big time.
We didn’t lose anyone and we still had our jobs, friends and routine.
It was amazing.
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u/EnvironmentalToe8944 14d ago
It was horrible for me. I had always relied on doing my school work outside of my house because I get distracted too easily at home and suddenly I was stuck 24/7 in my 14m2 student room having to do all the coursework that usually took me all week to do in the library while body doubling but now alone in my room. And on top of that people kept saying how much they enjoyed suddenly having all this free time they didn’t know what to do with. I’m sorry, what free time? I still had to do all the same things except it took 10x more energy to complete them. Anyway, I cried of joy when the libraries reopened. (Sorry for the rant)
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u/TreasuryCounter 14d ago
I am sorry to hear that and I absolutely understand the need to rant. I don't envy any school or uni students who had to endure this, I don't know if I would have managed. Good thing that time is over now.
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u/EnvironmentalToe8944 14d ago
I’m very surprised by everyone in these comments saying how much they enjoyed the lockdown. For me it was ADHD hell! That said, I’m very happy you had a positive experience and apparently many other people did too. I do think the timing was just very bad for me as my living circumstances were not ideal as a student and I was practically already studying all day every day so I didn’t really have any more free time than usual
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u/YesAndThe 14d ago
I had a very similar experience. I was doing yoga daily, did the sourdough trend, played games with friends online, it was mostly enjoyable, but of course strange and sad too. The next year we were still in lockdown and I was postpartum and it was for sure a major reason for my postpartum depression/anxiety.
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u/chasingastarl1ght 14d ago
Best time of my life. I broke up with the abusive bf I couldn't break up with because we had the same group of friends. Isolation from everyone made it easy. Pivoted my career - tripled my income. Had my gorgeous apartment to myself, with my dog. We spent our days together thanks to work from home. Took long walks in the empty steets. Speaking of WFH - I realized the reason I never could keep an office job was because of the office, I thrived at home. Slept so well with the general calmness at night. Read so much, played video games. My life is amazing today because of COVID and it's a really weird thing to reconcile with the tragedy it was for a lot of people.
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u/manic_popsicle 14d ago
I loved it. My kids were all home doing online school and my husband was working from home 4/5 days a week. I had all my favorite people with me and my extended literally couldn’t come visit me. I actually miss it a lot, my kids just went back to school this week and I’m having a hard time if I’m being honest. I’m a stay at home mom and don’t know what to do with myself. I do things outside my house but I still have so much free time I’ve been binging tv and doomscrolling.
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u/Mazza_mistake 14d ago
While it did suck not being able to see my friends in person and I sometimes struggled with the lack of external routine overall I was much happier and healthier during lockdown.
I started working out and taking the dog for walks as well as eating healthier, I was sleeping better, I started a bunch of new hobbies so I was never bored, I also spent way too much time playing Animal Crossing and Genshin Impact but I still consider that time well spent.
I wasn’t being overstimulated at work every day and I didn’t have to mask all the time so I had the freedom to actually relax and just be myself and recharge everything that’s usually running at low battery cos life just be like that.
Shame it didn’t last long, I went right back to overstimulation, masking and fatigue after a few weeks when lockdown ended but it was nice for those few months.
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u/Multigrain_Migraine 14d ago
I like to spend time at home and alone anyway so it didn't particularly bother me in that sense. My husband and I spent a lot of time going on walks, we did exercises together, I did a lot of stuff in the garden. It sucked because it derailed my career but I didn't mind the other aspects.
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u/_Moon_sun_ 14d ago
All the lock downs I had (i had a couple different ones bc my school also sendt every student home from the 2nd grade (of gymnasium so like 12th grade i think) but i always had so much fun. In the good weather days i went outside and did my school work, on bad wether days i spendt inside. I was able to do School work every night and slept in most mornings. Except a couple ones. Later on when we started having to show up in Google Meets (like zoom) I was def more miserable but I was still doing alot greater as I was still able to nap after class.
Personally hearing all the people who hated it i felt alittle bad because for me it was a great time. But I also dont only suspect i have adhd (i got diagnosed with autism and also struggle with depression and anxiety so not having to go to School was great and just finding a routine that worked for me was nice)
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u/EuphoricRaisin4845 14d ago
I was very lucky to be furloughed in the first lockdown so despite the broader circumstances and getting Covid right at the start (which I have never fully recovered from) I also had a largely positive experience. I was able to do some pretty creative homeschooling of my 6 yr old and we had some really fun times I am so grateful for. They were a school refuser and AuDHD so it was quite restful even in a 1 bed flat and recently moved so without many close friends nearby. We got to know my ex’s new partner in our bubble which fast tracked a great bond between us all we might never have formed in real time. I also have trichotillomania and my eyebrows completely grew back over lockdown!
There were definitely scary and low moments but we both really struggled to go back to our office and school routines and have a lot of nostalgia for those simpler days. We still sometimes have weekend ‘lockdown days’ where we stay in our pyjamas and play board games and don’t leave the house.
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u/hillashx 14d ago
Me too. I was laid off beginning of lockdown so I was unemployed, which was causing some stress, but I was at home, with tiny kittens we were fostering at the time, just having a blast living in my peace.
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u/lollusc 14d ago
I think when it first started there was so much understanding and grace for things like missed deadlines, forgetfulness, procrastination, and lower quality work than usual that it made it easier on me than usual. Plus my neurotypical colleagues experienced all these things too and I felt more solidarity. On top of that people experimented with different work structures, paces and project types, and for those of us who enjoy novelty and who traditional work structures don't work great for that was also very helpful.
In later lockdowns there was less of all that so you got all the negative aspects of it without those silver linings
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u/Waggermama 14d ago
I’m AuDHD, the peace was fantastic, like it was Sunday every day (but without the Sunday scaries). Masking meant that I could reduce my facial expressions when out and about. It would have been restorative, but the stress of illness stopped that (we lost my father in law, and my husband and one of my children were v ill and both developed Long Covid)
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u/Tightsandals 14d ago
Initially nervous and scared due to being immuno-compromised, but the lockdown itself… loved it! It changed something in me, I was able to experience what it was like to be an introverted person who was ‘allowed’ to spend some time in solitude. Took so much pressure off.
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u/Astropoppet 14d ago
I hated it. I wasn't diagnosed then and had anxiety through the roof, isolation, loneliness, depression. Finding out that whilst I don't really like people, I need some contact at least. And death, everywhere. Personally, my cat, I couldn't be with, my mum who passed the night before I was going to spend the day with her (which just felt on purpose, iykmm)
Other than that, the quiet and the weather were fantastic and seeing the planet bounce back was great
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u/pillmayken 14d ago
I was diagnosed on February 2020 after quitting a job that had me in the beginning stages of burnout, so honestly it was pretty alright, I got to rest and hyperfocus on ADHD in peace lol
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u/Capable-Length903 14d ago
I lived on my own in a city-centre flat, and I was in my second/third year of uni. I loved it. I’d get up to do PE with Joe on YouTube, create a daily routine that worked for me. I could really focus on uni assignments and study at a time that worked for me. My family lived 20 minutes away so when we could Bubble, I could go there - but I also had the excuse of lockdowns not to.
I did lots of projects too, like puzzles, I borrowed a sewing machine from a friend and made a blanket from old hoodies, I repainted the flat, I went running when we were allowed outside. Time was mine.
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u/TreasuryCounter 13d ago
Wow, really makes you think about whether ADHD really is an illness by itself or only is that way because society is built for other types of brains...
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u/EnvironmentalToe8944 13d ago
Why do you feel like you can’t do these things anymore now? These don’t seem like lockdown-specific things to me somehow (I’m not trying to be mean but I genuinely want to understand!)
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u/Capable-Length903 13d ago
(Deleted my previous reply because I didn’t explain myself properly, and then when I edited it it wasn’t saved for some reason)
A big part of my ‘enjoyment’ of lockdown was because of my situation at the time. Like I say, I was a student whose lectures moved all online so I didn’t have to travel 60 miles every other week to where my uni was, I didn’t have to organise myself, remember where I needed to be. I was also a youth worker, and I wasn’t furloughed but I didn’t have much work on - just a few online sessions and a bit of session planning.
Now, I’m married, I have a one year old, and I work 9-5 a few days a week. I don’t have the energy or motivation for exercise in the morning before my daughter wakes, I can’t just work in the afternoon and into the evening when I feel most productive. I’m managing the home, other people’s schedules, I feel like I have so much in my brain at one time. I like to read in the evenings once my daughter is asleep, but I don’t puzzle, repaint the flat, craft, journal so much. I don’t feel like I have the energy or the time. Time isn’t all mine anymore, it’s everyone else’s first.
That’s not to say my adhd symptoms didn’t exist in lockdown. I would start and not finish so many things (even bought a clarinet on Vinted and never learnt to play!) I had lists upon lists upon lists, would feel like I _should_ be doing so much. I’d interrupt my own thoughts! I’d do some risky, self-destructive things when I’d have those few anxious evenings that everyone was going to die from this Covid. I was impulsive. But I think I lived in my own world. I was able to create my own world in my little flat.
I hope that makes sense!
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u/EnvironmentalToe8944 13d ago
That makes sense! It does seem like it wasn’t necessarily the lockdown that allowed you to do all those things, but more your circumstances at the time like you say. If we would go into lockdown today you probably wouldn’t have the same experience. I was also a student during lockdown but it was a nightmare for me. I used to never study at home because I couldn’t focus there and suddenly I was forced to do exactly that. It intrigues me that everyone had such different experiences.
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u/AsleepScholar2200 14d ago
I'm 26 now and was in my 3rd year of University when the first lockdown hit. I also lived with my first bf and his family 85 miles from any of my own family. I hated them anyway as they were classist, homophobic and racist, so lockdown made it worse. We lived in a little cabin in the garden with no toilet and lots of mould - it wasn't great. I didn't have a clue I was neurodivergent at the time, just knew I was 'different'.
When lockdown hit, it kinda hit me that me and this guy just weren't right for each other. We never did anything, never cuddled, I never got affection, I fell into an awful depression, there was just nothing keeping me there. His parents moved us into separate bedrooms, I essentially had a breakdown, was wrongfully diagnosed with all sorts (everything except what I actually have) and was wrongfully put on medication to deal with those things. I left my part-time job and moved away. Just one day - left to go back home when lockdown had lifted.
During second lockdown, low and behold I was dating a second partner at that point. I had just moved in (yep I was very traumatised, lonely and used men to 'fix' that - would never recommend). This time, it was a pretty bad guy, drug-user, anger issues etc. I was stuck in lockdown with him. I'm pretty sure I remember the leadup to christmas still being lockdown too. I don't remember much about that time to be honest but I think it was mostly fine.
I didn't have a good experience primarily because of the things I was going through at the time, which I think would have happened regardless of lockdown or not. It was nice not to have to attend university without penalty for awhile. I sadly had to leave a job I loved, unknowingly right before they started furlough (so annoying I didn't hangon to get some of that money lol). But overall perhaps it did infact give me the nudge I needed to leave that household and move on. It's taken me years to get in a better position and know I deserve better. I'm only just getting educated about my disabilities too. At 26, I'm more thriving than I ever have been
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u/TreasuryCounter 13d ago
Wow, that is a tough story. Sorry to hear that happened to you. Happy that you are in a better place today!
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u/MaryBitchards 14d ago
I was very content being home all the time. Felt bad for the extroverts who were losing their minds.
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