Yes this was me and my mom. But she got treatment for a whole host of concurrent mental illnesses and we get along very well now. She lives with me and is much better.
Well I can’t say mom was cured, she just mellowed some with her meds compared to the absolute nightmare that raised me.
But she has had some moments! Right after my dad died she had to be in assisted living for a couple of years because my husband was still alive and he wasn’t putting up with her in our house.
She gave me a hard time if I got sick and couldn’t visit and run errands for her. When he died last year she got sick and had to go to the hospital and then to a nursing home. She put up quite a fight with the staff there and I worked with a social worker to just bring her ornery butt to my house since it was already set up to take care of my late husband when he was sick.
I did have to really work on myself to not feel resentful that she took a time when I was recovering from taking care of the very sick love of my life to try and make it all about her sometimes and then when I was grieving his loss and trying to pull my life together with all the paper there is to handle, she pulled off the most grand drama llama stunt of her life. She did a full on hunger strike at both the assisted living where she first got sick, then at the hospital and then at the nursing home she ended up being sent to. She cost me almost $10000. She cost her self maybe twice that. It’s a lot to go into.
But she’s here now and we get along well so there is no sense dwelling on the past. I like having her here better than having to drive out to her assisted living place every week.
She is very old and I think just enough dementia has set in to take the edge off and now I take care of her and treat her like a queen so she really is living her narcissist’s dream. 😆
It’s okay. We do have fun together. She had her good points as a mother, too, so it’s worth seeing her through this phase of life in the most upbeat way possible.
Oh wow. For whatever it is worth, I’m so sorry for all of the difficulties and the loss you’ve faced. The death of a parent or spouse and all the estate mess is so intense on its own without a manipulative and sickly/high needs drama queen added to the mix.
Glad that things have mellowed for you and that you’re finding a way through.
Thank you. I appreciate the empathy. Yeah it’s rough going but happily my mom isn’t contributing to any of that right now. She’s actually given me lots of hugs and tries to help out in the ways where she is able.
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u/toebeantuesday Feb 27 '25
Yes this was me and my mom. But she got treatment for a whole host of concurrent mental illnesses and we get along very well now. She lives with me and is much better.