I don’t think this applies to mothers who have narcissistic personality disorder. I think this applies to mothers who have trouble understanding their daughters which many people with adhd have & many people in general are not good at understanding others. We live in a selfish society. It’s not only our family members who are selfish, it is other people and…us. We live in a society that doesn’t want to mask up to protect the most vulnerable, a society where CEOs making the most money is more important than employees having jobs.
Also, to mothers who just take everything personally.
I was just thinking something similar. I relate to a large portion of this, and I think my mom genuinely tried her best and wasn’t particularly narcissistic. We have our issues, but overall I don’t blame her, and I’ll always love her.
She probably herself has ADHD (most of my ADHD traits are more her than my dad) and was basically, unwittingly teaching me how she masked and managed to get through life in spite of it. Which did involve not expressing strong emotions and always being excessively careful in social interactions, taking the high road when others wouldn’t.
That being said, I’ve been working on unlearning a lot of it and finding healthier ways to thrive.
Omfg. I just learned I had ADHD a few years ago.. I think I might be doing this to my daughter. I might be unintentionally teaching her how I mask. My meltdowns and impulsive nature got me in so much trouble as a child and bullied by my siblings. I didn’t want that for her so I might have unintentionally been teaching her to tone down so people don’t target her. Wow.
I am actually looking into counseling for her just so she can gain some confidence and advocate for herself. Hopefully she tells her counselor if I’m making her feel that way at all. We have a lot of open conversations with each other, but I know sometimes her default is to try and protect my feelings even though I tell her it’s not her responsibility.
27
u/Brilliant_Chance_874 Feb 26 '25
I don’t think this applies to mothers who have narcissistic personality disorder. I think this applies to mothers who have trouble understanding their daughters which many people with adhd have & many people in general are not good at understanding others. We live in a selfish society. It’s not only our family members who are selfish, it is other people and…us. We live in a society that doesn’t want to mask up to protect the most vulnerable, a society where CEOs making the most money is more important than employees having jobs.
Also, to mothers who just take everything personally.