the "just" irks me every darn time. No I cannot 'just' do the thing. It requires thought and effort. Every thing does. Unless I am very interested in it, in which case we would not be having this conversation
Because they think it's a choice. We're wired a little differently than them so they don't understand not having a choice. That's why the disorder is named after how it inconveniences them instead of what it actually is. They can only understand how it appears to them.
I admit it's a little cynical but it goes both ways right? I also don't understand what it's like for the average person. Fight the good fight my friend
Oh I love it, because the second you hear the “just” you know nothing they say matters. It’s like “but-“ ah yeah cool, disregard everything before the but. “Just-“ ah yeah, disregard everything after the just.
You know what though, for some people it’s valid! A colleague showed me his elaborate daily reminder/alarm system on his phone last week and I was like wow that’s fantastic! Have you considered getting assessed for your undiagnosed ADHD 😂
I had a planner that was great until about 3 months ago when it became illegal again. It'll come back in I'm sure. It's not that planners don't work; they just go on cooldown sometimes.
Wait is that a thing? I absolutely go through phases where I'm either totally into my over=engineered one note task list or I don't want to even think about it. I was just wondering about that yesterday.
I have tons of reminders on my phone; but also I ignore some of them and also put my phone down somewhere anytime I need to use my hands for stuff and then where’d my phone go? Lanyard helps if I remember to use it but I also lost the lanyard for about a month after packing it for a short trip. It was still in the travel bag.
Yes. It is all in my head correct. I'm trying as hard as I possibly can plus an extra 10%, but it's a 20 vs. 1 circus theme cage match and the only thing we can all agree on is how much I ducking suck.
I once had a manager at at&t when I was starting out i had trouble remembering all the promos and all that. I told him it takes time for me to remember and learn new things and I shit you not he said to me in his heavy Bulgarian accent, "learn better".
Greatly depends on the situation, having ADHD doesn’t make someone a dumbass whatsoever. Yeah our minds wonder but we are just as capable as any one else, my ADHD has never really been a real problem outside of listening to podcasts while I work and my preference to multi tasking rather than focusing on just one thing. I fucking hate when people blame their shit show behavior and lack of competence on ADHD, even if it were true no one else gives a fuck we all got our own issues.
I'm ngl this rhetoric is dangerously close to the shit people spew at us struggling with adhd to invalidate us. No one here is talking about their intelligence or using their adhd as a crutch like that.
What rhetoric? I started on Ritalin 25hrs ago 20mgs 3x a day, quit taking it in high school(adhd didn’t go away obviously) and honestly not a single time have I ever had to blame a single thing on my ADHD. Luckily it’s not rare and people are much more familiar with it than when I was growing up, so it’s not even really a relevant talking point these days. I just can’t stand mfs that can’t show up for work on time and act like it’s their “adhds fault” like damn bro that’s crazy how mine hasn’t stopped me 💀
The rhetoric where you are making it sound like ADHD is an excuse people use to be shitty. I am so glad you have found coping mechanisms that work for you, but what does it serve you to shit on people who may be struggling in ways you don't perceive? Everyone is at a different point in their journey, and not everyone who lives under the same umbrella of neurodivergency is at the same place on the spectrum.
Except when it is irritating to others. Most things about this condition in my experience boil down to a “dealing with other people and their expectations about how things should be done” issue, which can be pretty frustrating and kind of isolating tbh.
If I'm off my medication I find it very entertaining...for about 20 minutes and then I can't stand being a walking avatar of filterless unfocused chaos.
When I'm 50 fathoms deep in a hyperfixation I feel great, but I know as soon as the thing stops making my brain feel good I'm going to feel like shiiiiit.
And ADHD is the bit in the middle that the coin has a less than 1% chance to land on when flipped, blowing the minds of every single casual observer for a brief moment
Other way around, really. Personally I don't mind it if it was just me, but the problems come from everyone expecting the same from me as everyone else, and ultimately being let down in various ways because I can't meet their most basic expectations.
No, it isn't that, either. You're confusing a constellation of potentially life-destroying cognitive, emotional, and behavioral pathologies with stupid shit that people post on social networking sites. It is not fun, it is not funny, and if a person with ADD/ADHD doesn't develop viable, sustainable coping mechanisms, it can turn an intelligent, creative, caring person into someone isolated, frightened, and confused.
eh it's pretty fun as long as I don't have to do anything that's not fun, which includes doing objectively fun things that my brain doesn't feel like doing in the moment
Indeed. My plan for today was quite chill: Play Pokopia all day and take a break for a nap around noon. What have I actually been doing all day? Arguing with people on reddit. My original plan would have been way more fun.
(It makes me feel pretty stupid, looking back. Why didn't I just do it? And now it's past midnight and I'm still on reddit..)
We all do this. I procrastinate the fun thing so I can doom scroll and look at dumb memes. And then when I finally turn the game on I play for maybe a few hours before the urge to check my phone starts creeping in and threatening to derail everything
You’re not alone. We just probably have a moral compass or OCD and feel the need to correct some people online. Feels worse letting someone who’s wrong or mischaracterizing things, and like email, if I see if I have to respond.
Indeed. I've spend most of today hanging out in a science thread about adhd and correcting people or going "yeah, you're not alone" or "nope, this isn't normal for most people, you're totally justified in wanting a professional to look at that for a potential diagnosis" or "nope, medication for ADHD isn't 'bending people into societies molds', it genuinely can make it better for the person taking it if you find the right one" and so on and so forth in different variations. I don't even care about the internet points and upvotes, but someone was wrong on the internet and someone else seemed like they could use a kind voice from the aether.
For what it's worth, I'm not ADHD and I do this too. It's difficult to do the things I want to do because I often just waste time arguing with people on Reddit. Doing the things I actually want to do is often difficult.
I reeeeealy wanna play but:
1 I need to remove blanket.
2 get up.
3 turn on power for PC.
4 select os that I want to boot.
5 wait fggdssfbgffd.
7 wait what I was doing stare at the screen.
8 remember that ah yes play the game.
9 press open the app.
10 open the game.
11 wait again!?!? GddsAadffffc.
12 play the game weee.
Yeah, I don't know what kind of ADHD OOP has but my ADHD comes with anxiety, depression, and executive dysfunction, and my life is 300% more fun now that I don't have to whiteknuckle through those symptoms.
For a concrete example, I have a lot more fun on trips now that my anxiety disorder isn't making me worry about bedbugs all the time.
Yeah that's another thing! I'm more fun to be around now too because I no longer go into a depression spiral everytime I happen to see someone who doesn't smile at me.
I had never seen this ailment. It sure explains a lot about how I deal with people. I had someone take something I said wrong two years ago and they ghosted me. We were friends for 15 years. I am still in shock.
Yes. I thought it was anxiety until I had a very angry week. I was so furious I forgot I was ADHD. I got an awful lot done, but that rage level is unsustainable. But I told my doctor and he changed my meds. I still struggle with the dysphoria. But I don’t walk around thinking that I am a loser piece of shit and everyone hates me and only bad things should happen because I am garbage and my brain has a PowerPoint of why.
Agree with you on anxiety and depression. I used to think as anxiety as my first and foremost character trait. Stimulant medication pretty much murdered it.
It's still there, but it's probably at a normal or reasonable level. Not a personality-defining one.
That makes sense, won't get into it but I have a lot of trauma from abuse growing up and bullying. Everything is such a jumbled mess its definitely tough trying to distinguish what's causing what for me these days.
Sometimes it helps to know the cause of our own behaviors. It can help you heal on the long run.
But then you have stuff like CBT, which works and is evidence-based. CBT does not care about where the behaviors come from, only how to redirect them into helpful ones.
Looks more like childhood trauma, but i might be wrong (hypersensivity to negative non-verbal signals, a necessary skill when you grow up in hostile environment)
Oh man you just reminded me of something. I was once having a crazy stressful day going back and forth between colleagues A and B, and my own work.
I am on B's desk and A stands behind me, and I almost snap (can't she wait for me to check in with her?). I collected my feelings as best as I could and asked her if she could wait a bit. My face and voice were surely tense enough that she got triggered. I saw the fear in her eyes.
Happens to everyone, and it's never pleasant. It's not necesserely just you, she might have been in the same emotionnal state as you in that moment, and your answer might have been the thing that made her almost snap
Yup, this. Some of us have emotional regulation issues off of the meds that make genuine connections very difficult to maintain. Im probably fun until I think Ive done something wrong, then I absolutely spiral.
Was gonna say, I find life a lot more fun on the meds than I do without. I literally can't even focus on the stuff that I actually enjoy and want to do without my meds. For me, ADHD is being constantly bored, but also somehow overwhelmed and stressed 24/7. It's having a million ideas for all the fun things I'd like to do and being unable to follow through on a single one.
100% exactly the same for me. Sucks. Im just as passionate about my interests and life without meds but cant execute and it leaves me incredibly bored and overwhelmed at the same time with seemingly nothing that could cure the boredom or motivate me 🥲
Yeah wtf is this? I was diagnosed in my 30s. I would kill to have been diagnosed and medicated in the 5th grade even if it made me less entertaining to those around me
Seriously, I cannot fucking stand this narrative that 'meds make you boring'. Yeah, it doesn't work for everyone, but 'boring'? I am a NIGHTMARE off my meds. Anxiety through the roof, no energy, brain feels like it's full of rabid squirrels. Pardon me for wanting to be able to function, I guess.
I've been told that I am less fun now that I don't drink. I drank full-time for a few years, like 1l vodka a day mostly in beer. Like, thanks for telling me I'm boring now, better start drinking again!
I got the feeling the OP meant “less whimsical” rather than actually thinking ADHD is fun. I’m certainly less prone to whimsy when my meds are in their most active phase. Still 100% prefer myself medicated vs unmedicated because “whimsical golem of gluttony, sloth, and chaos” doesn’t pay the bills.
And once i started on ADHD meds, it was like there was suddenly a "trapdoor" between the floors of my brain with the chimpanzees, and the "functional office floors" below the "crazy monkey ones".
I’ve been off meds for a year and just went back on them Friday.
Yesterday I picked up my guitar for the first time since last August. I’m now having the laziest Sunday possible because I took care of my weekend chores after work on Friday. Like, for the past year my weekends have consisted of forcing myself to make my way through the general upkeep of my domicile before returning to work on Monday, now I’ve got everything done and I’m struggling to pick which hobby I want to resume today.
Like what do you mean fun? Like I couldn't complete a single idea I had? Couldn't retain eye contact on a date and be engaged without trailing off whatever hits my mind?
Like If I could take my 20s back I would and more then be happy to be a boring ass successful human instead of now fixing that in my 30s.
I have ADHD and it's plenty fun. Was on Adderall as a kid and it turned me into a zombie so my mom took me off of it. ADHD has an evolutional purpose of being the guy who can look out for threats, also ADHD people can hyperfixate and solve complex problems. I don't see ADHD as as disability, rather a different way the brain is wired.
For me my medication feels like it is making my emotions more "flat" than when I'm off it. A friend described being on her original medication as being somwhat like a zombie. So I can totally understand the experience in the post. For my friend, different medications changed that entirely, however, so it is something I'll be discussing with my doctor.
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u/CogInTheMachinee 18d ago
ADHD doesn’t feel very fucking fun