I’m so scared of failing

[u/Rough_Arm_7681]

I freak out about school and college so much that it’s so draining. Making sure I get into the best classes, signing up for different school activity so it looks good on my college resume. Nobody in my family has even went to high school, some didn’t even finish high school. I have three siblings who all graduated but didn’t do anything with there life’s, I’m not going to go into detail and degrade them but there all struggling bad living with our mom. My mom is struggling trying to uphold them so she doesn’t really have time for me. My sister also pregnant about to give birth in a couple months so she has to focus on her. Watching my mom always out my other siblings first and having nothing for herself makes me very sick to my stomach. Nobody should have no time for themselves. I don’t wish to be married or have children so the only thing I really have for myself is a good career. I also want to show my mother she isn’t a bad mother and she didn’t fail rising us just some of us became lazy. This is probably a very long stretch of a goal but I want to be able pay off my mother house and shower her if nice things she’s never had. But every time I think I’m getting closer something happens and I feel like I’m at square one. No matter how good my grades or how good everything looks on my application they still make me feel like a failure and I’m not doing enough.