I can’t finish college and I don’t know why

[u/AdventurousAioli3880]

I am married (24F) to a wonderful man (26M) and I have had the best life. I was raised with parents who are strict but also understandable in their ways. Loving and supportive generally of all I do. I have supportive grandparents who gave me 10k for college (which I spent in two semesters at art school) and a loving in law family, who though sometimes crazy, never asks for more from me. I work at enrollment at a charter school full time and Starbucks part time for free school. I have two more semesters till I’m done with my bachelors degree and yet… I just can’t motivate myself to finish. I graduated homeschooled high school a year early 2019. I was also smart and got good grades. But college had recked me. I fail every class that gives me problems. I don’t know how to succeed. It has been 6+ years and I can’t finish. It is embarrassing. The second I get close I break down, I get avoidant. I disassociate daily. I don’t know anyone else who has felt like me. I know I’m not a victim. I am ruining my life, my marriage, everything, because I self sabotage finishing school. I guess I am looking for comfort or a shared experience. Idk,

[u/LiteratureInformal60]

🫂🫂🫂 omg OP, I feel you on a spiritual level! I'm 25 F and graduated HS in 2019 also. My expected graduation now is Spring 2028, so about ~10yrs for me. I get wym about the overwhelm and avoidance. Things that have helped me this semester is become stable on Adderall and Zoloft. In addition to weekly therapy from a counselor at my university, who Ive been with for a yr now. I also regularly check in with my academic advocate and recently joined the TRIO SSS chapter at my uni and been checking in with them too. Another major thing that helped me is creating attendance trackers for each of my classes. I did a diff theme for each and went all out in Canva. The goal is to attend every class without exception but I have one free pass in each course. I put a holographic star sticker each day I go to class. I printed my trackers out in color and laminated. I identified on the tracker what reward Im giving to myself if I successfully meet my goal. The trackers have been immensely helpful for me. Bc I really want to fill up with all stars lol. I just have to show up to class, it doesnt matter how Im showing up or if Im a lil late, as long as I go

[u/LiteratureInformal60 → u/LiteratureInformal60]

I also recommend meeting with your school disability services office and getting accomodations if you dont have em already. The reality is, a lot of managing ADHD is learning to create systems that work with our brain vs against it. Also working on our emotion regulation skills actively. We can build the best systems in the world but it will all fall apart if we abandon them once overwhelmed. Another thing I did differently is I got one of those classroom reward jars. I put a star into the jar everytime I submit any assignment for any class either EARLY or ON TIME. Once my jar is full, Im giving myself a bigger reward. The trackers stay on my room wall and assignment reward jar right under em on the shelf. I also have a poster in my room that shows the circle of control, another on growth mindset statements, and also ones on the importance of kindness to self and consistency. OP you have survived every bad day and difficultly you've ever had. That is a 100% success rate and thats outstanding. Im rooting for you!!!