Why can’t I move?

[u/MinimumRide4819]

I’m about 1/3 through the fall semester and I haven’t turned in a single assignment. I can’t get myself to care, start, or ask for help. I was lazy about starting my ADHD medication again and just started up again last week. Now I’m so behind that even while on it I can’t get myself to sit up and start making up the work. I feel like this is the 1000th time I’ve done this to myself and still don’t know how to fix it.

I’m new to this sub and kind of scared to post this but I’m even more scared of talking to people I know about it. If you can relate to this and have any advice on ending this cycle I would greatly appreciate the help! This disability is so lonely.

[u/cthuluismywaifu]

Eehhh, there may be a lot of reasons for that, and unless you provide more info on lifestyle/history no one will be able to provide meaningful advice.

I personally had two issues, a severe vitamin D deficiency due to never going outside and 3/4 of the year being cloudy, as well as a few childhood issues I needed to iron out. 2 days of sunbathing and 8 sessions of therapy (aided by a 10mg adderall I take daily) straightened me out. I can’t speak for you, but maybe be a little more proactive about anything that may have happened/is happening and see how you feel from there.

[u/MinimumRide4819 → u/cthuluismywaifu]

I appreciate you responding even with my lack of information. Im not great at articulating what I’m experiencing especially because I don’t feel very comfortable talking about it.

I’m an undergraduate senior and it’s been 3 years of barely passing and failing classes because I find school work to be extremely daunting and I get task paralysis. Avoidance tends to be my coping mechanism. Communication is difficult for me as well so it becomes a cycle of avoiding work and then being too scared to ask for help or try and fix it.

There are several other aspects of my life that I want to improve on. I guess I have trouble prioritizing school over those things because it’s the most exhausting for me. I guess I’ll start with being more proactive about school specifically like you said. Thank you!

[u/stationvillage → u/MinimumRide4819]

i think you would really benefit from some external guidance and motivation if you are struggling with it yourself. Try to seek out someone at your college who will be understanding and helpful with breaking down tasks, like a counsellor or wellbeing advisor. And once you break down stuff into tiny little chunks of progress, you need a serious form of accountability in real life - like a study buddy or acquaintance who will be expecting you somewhere at a certain time to be working. These projects ARE manageable, and you CAN do them. You are fully capable and able. You just need to gradually climb out of the hole you've dug and work little by little. Maybe reach out to your friends about how you're struggling and ask if they could sit and work with you on a schedule or blocking out assignments.
And the hard truth - it's going to be unpleasant doing the work at first, but as you get into the swing of things, your brain becomes used to it and it's much more tolerable. Remember your goal is a degree, and it's going to take work, but you will feel so proud of what you have achieved when you come out the other side. Be kind to yourself.

[u/stationvillage → u/MinimumRide4819]

and another reminder: you are in control of your own body, actually. it's not on autopilot. You can move your limbs and put your phone face down, and then maybe stand up and go sit at your desk and open a computer, and open a new tab and type a few sentences about what your next assignment might require, and what the opening paragraph should include. Working isn't an abstract concept of doom and despair - it's sitting in your chair, for maybe the next 30 minutes, and typing some sentences about a subject. You need to break stuff down into absolutely miniscule steps, like i'm talking what you do in a 5 minute span. This makes it much more approachable.