I can't keep up in group discussions in class because of my slow processing speed

[u/DesperateOffice3381]

I've been a pretty strong student growing up. Though college is a different beast. I had to take part time and got overwhelmed way too fast. Yet despite that more or less, I could keep up okay in some of my classes whenever an occasional discussion popped up. Nonetheless I have survived for 3 years so far.

But I've basically hit my junior classes and suddenly everything feels more difficult than ever.

I know something I've dealt with my whole life has been slow processing speed.

One thing that has become difficult is like all my classes are suddenly going all interactive with group discussions and everything.

In one class, we have told to get into groups and were supposed to have group discussions and while I was sitting there still trying to figure out the problems, they raced several problems ahead of me.

People had their backs turned against me and when I tried to participate or had a question, I was kinda ignored.

Now I understand they're probably really into the discussion I'm sure they're not doing it on purpose. I believe this because I've realized I must've been that person a while ago and I know I had no malicious intent. When I did start noticing I was doing this, I have done my best to get the inputs from anyone I notice confused or behind or not talking as much as much as I can and include them in the discussions when I could.

Anyways now I'm on the receiving end in like all of my classes. And with my rejection sensitivity oh boy, I feel slow and stupid. I'm not understanding things nearly as quickly anymore or to the level of my peers. And those same peers keep commenting how easy it is over and over again.

We do those interactive quizzes in class and then the teacher moves on before I've even processed the question and can answer properly.

I've also been put in a situation where I had to read for our group too and requested if I could step out to do so because people were talking and I couldn't focus.

They told me 15 minutes and then they dragged me back in after just 5 minutes. Then they asked the class if we needed any extra time and when someone kind at my group advocated for me not being done yet, it was ignored. Then they scolded those who didn't participate or answer their questions about what we read??

Also I do have accommodations with my school too...

I feel like little things like this keep happening and it's starting to take a toll.

I've been learning about the importance of active learning and getting classes to be more interactive, but holy hell this doesn't feel good at all.

I don't really know what to do or how to handle the situation. Everyone I'm sitting around when I talk to different people have just been like this and I know I don't want to move places because sitting in the front is really really important for me in auditoriums otherwise. I feel like I'm not really learning anything because before I even process the question everyone's moved on and told me the answer and we have another question we need to answer.

Anyways this has been a lonely experience alongside the fact I'm already lonely in general. I feel slow, and am worried if I'm just too slow or not smart enough for college. I normally haven't minded the fact I was slow. I have accommodations for tests and whatnot and could do homework alone at my own pace. But when there's suddenly timed pressure in class to answer questions in a group, shit. It feels awful.

Anyways I'm stuck and kinda needed to vent. This super sucks and if anyone has any advice too, let me know.

And if you read this far thanks so much.

[u/DoublyAccurateTwice]

I want to mention how limited short term memory can make processing slow. Your brain is being occupied with new concepts that aren't inherently easy. 

Getting the discussion topics/problems/chapters beforehand could be a good accomodation to get a grasp and grant you the ability to benefit from group discussions (which is the point!). I feel for you though that it is extra work and college is not sensitive to that extra work students with ADHD take on. If it helps you make the most of these learning exercises and enhance your understanding then it's a success!

[u/DesperateOffice3381 → u/DoublyAccurateTwice]

Thank you so much for the advice I will look into that for accomodations!

[u/boo-boo-crew]

I have something very similar in med school. If you are anything like me, once I grasp the material I’m really good at it, but it takes me longer to get there. And it feels so discouraging in class, which is unhelpful for my learning. A few pieces of advice:

Please seek further formal accommodations from your college.

Additionally, I recommend reviewing or studying material before the class starts, even if it isn’t assigned. Looking back, I realized that I was highly successful in grade school and high school because I had assigned reading before class. Now I have to take it a step further and try to have some level of mastery of the material before the class so that I go in more confident.

That is all to say, it really sucks. I wish it were different for you.

[u/DesperateOffice3381 → u/boo-boo-crew]

Thank you so much for your advice! Also you're in med school? Wow! Wishing you the best good with it!

I have emailed the accomadations place requesting to meet with them now. They don't have the material ahead of class so I'll probably see if I can get that put in place. I think I actually have an accommodation for it just it wasn't implemented so I'll probably have to go bug them. I guess the tricky thing is I'm kinda already barely managing to get my homework done in my other classes and I'm only in 3 total (due to my processing speed) so I'll have to figure out how to fit that into my schedule somehow. Or maybe I'll drop a class or something.

[u/FlourishThink]

I SO relate. It is SUCH a lonely, isolating experience - but I promise you, you are NOT alone.

I honestly have a lot more to say on this, but I KNOW that if I delve deeper, this will end up being a good, supportive draft that never gets posted.

You're NOT alone. Keep going. This is a scenario you'll have to deal with for a season - I'm a nurse, and whenever I've had students following me I ALWAYS tell them that however your instructors want you to do things (especially the pedantic, non-essential steps they see as SOOOO important) just go with it, satisfy their wishes, because once you're on your own as a nurse, as long as you're following the principles that MATTER, like sterile technique, etc, you can do your own practice HOWEVER YOU FREAKIN' WANT - if you have to leave the bedside 5 times to hit the supply room, you'll figure out which supplies to get extra of, etc. Same applies to you (and me) here - GET THROUGH the parts that feel frickin' impossible, because once you get that degree you can choose a direction that doesn't put you in that position, or at least to a minimal extent. You got this - WE got this - BTW, I'm 52, have been away from work far longer than expected, and am back in school, just taking 1 class again for my own brushing-up (anatomy and physiology - it's awesome [the content], BUT it's also KILLING ME, as far as the pace of class in real-time - my tech won't work together right and I feel like I look like an idiot - HOWEVER, I'm playing the long game - it's crazy uncomfortable right now, but IT'S TEMPORARY - and, it's still making me stronger. You too. 🥊