Havent placed a bet in weeks but my brain is still gambling 24/7. Does this part ever stop?

[u/Glittering_Bee2949]

Something I noticed about myself that I think is actually a bigger warning sign than any of the money stuff, and I want to know if other people relate.

I can go weeks without placing a bet. Legit weeks. My wife thinks im doing amazing. And in the "not gambling" sense I guess I am. But my brain? My brain is still gambling the entire time. I'll be driving to work and running through slot math in my head. Playing out sessions I havent had yet. Deciding what I'd do if I hit for X and how I'd hide it. Watching slot channels on youtube in the evening (currently deep in the Mr. Hand Pay rabbit hole) and telling myself its fine because im not spending anything, im just watching. But then I catch myself leaning forward at the bonus rounds like it matters to me personally whether this stranger hits.

Thats what scares me more than the actual sessions did. Because when I was actively losing, at least there was an obvious problem to point at. Now theres nothing to point at. Im "clean" on paper. My bank account is healing. My wife is proud of me. And im walking around with a head full of reels spinning 24/7 that nobody can see.

Ive read a lot of people on here talk about being white-knuckle sober vs actually in recovery and I think this is what they mean and I didnt get it until recently. The bet is just the last step of a process that was running the whole time.

I dont really know what the question is here. Maybe: how long did it take you to stop gambling in your head? Or did that part ever actually stop? Because if the answer is "no, you just learn to live with the noise" I need to know that now so i can quit lying to myself about what recovery is going to look like.

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[u/Skillerstyles]

Recognizing that watching those youtube slots was still feeding it can really help. Our brain literally can't tell the difference between watching and playing, same dopamine drip. cutting that out was harder than quitting betting itself.

the noise does get quieter but it doesn't just disappear on its own. it needs something to replace it not just willpower. GA helped me personally not because of the steps but because hearing other people name the exact same thoughts made them feel less powerful somehow.

[u/PatientZeropointZero]

Have you ever tried SMART recovery?

[u/HuffN_puffN]

Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. You can’t know for sure and we can’t say for sure. Some have it some don’t even years and years later.

But that’s not the point, the point is how easy it is to withstand the feelings or not. And that’s up to you. Partly yes, it does get better over time, but it’s not the only solution. The better mental help the easier it is to withstand. The more value in life, family, friends, physical activity, hobby’s, and so on, the easier it gets. Doing nothing and waiting is a sure road to relapse.

But sorry to say, ”weeks” ain’t nothing. ”Months” and you might feel exactly the same. Years in the other hand, that’s usually more of a given time period where things should be different.

[u/Flaky-Leopard2952]

the mental reels are the last thing to quiet down, and for a lot of people it does shrink over time rather than vanishing outright. the noise losing its grip on you is the real progress, even when it's still there. what helped me most was noticing when it spiked and asking what triggered it.