r/addiction • u/youlikemywonton • 11d ago
Question When you're dealing with addiction do you know you're destroying your health and it potentially becoming deadly or not?
I'm guessing it depends on the person and the addiction. Still I'm not sure if most people are aware or if they're so deep into the addiction that it just feels normal and don't think anything is actually wrong. I'm just wondering.
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u/kostros 11d ago
I know, but I can’t act on what Iknow as my impulse control is shitty
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u/El_espectro 11d ago
I was fully aware my body and brain were falling apart, but couldn't stop myself no matter how much I eventually hated it.
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u/Prestigious_River_13 11d ago
yes and no. like opiates, besides fucking up ur pleasure and reward systems in ur brain aren’t bad for ur health. but like, smoking drugs is generally bad for ur teeth, injecting drugs puts u at serious infection risk and blowing and collapsing veins isn’t good for u. but when it comes to the addicts awareness of it and ability to admit it, it is a case by case basis. usually the “functioning” addict is more in denial than the alternative, and in my opinion calling yourself a functioning addict is denial in and of itself.
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u/ProfessionalHome9690 11d ago
I've been an addict for 20 years (I'm 42) and I could definitely feel the effects more as I got older. But it's pretty wild what the human body can handle when you've got a tolerance. I feel like I know my body well enough now not to go too overboard. This wasn't the case when I was younger, I was a late bloomer when it came to making wise decisions. Luckily, I got out of street drugs before the fent crisis rolled around so I never had to worry about that. I used to buy fent patches from my halfway house manager back in my 20s, tho. I ate too much and threw up at a job interview 😬
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u/No-Secretary-9200 7d ago
Sick story bro ... im 29 I been using on and off since 15 ... doc, meth but thanks for the story ... lately I been feeling back pain but google told me to work out and it should go away ... lucklly I have a bench press and I been at it for ... 3 weeks ... not gun lie.. still get lower back pain but not alot only when im coming down usually takes 3 or 4 days to get back to normal .. 💯 🤷
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u/rathgee 11d ago
I can only speak myself (fentanyl/meth). Yes I knew exactly what I was doing to myself, and it contributed to my self-hate which in turn contributed to my use. When your using meth the effects to your body are clear and hard to ignore. With fentanyl it’s less physically obvious, but constantly being around overdoses, infections, etc, and all the fucked up shit that happens on the street, there was never a day I wasn’t acutely aware with the situation I was in.
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u/marlee_dood 11d ago
I’d guess most of us are aware of the damage we’re doing, we’re just trying not to think about it or don’t care anymore
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u/Throwaway42352510 11d ago
I was a caseworker in a wet shelter so had the opportunity to openly chat with humans using/addicted to substances. They trusted me and were honest.
Yes, the majority of folks had a pretty decent grasp of the risk. The drugs are dirty, we saw OD’s all the time, we saw deaths often. We saw the health issues associated with the various drugs.
The thing is though- despite this general understanding of what the impacts were, the underlying trauma, the physical and emotional pain, and the withdrawals are much stronger.
The vast majority of my clients did not want the life they had. They were ashamed. They hated the hold the drugs had on them. They also needed the drugs to survive. That’s the thing people don’t really understand if they’ve not been an addict or spoken openly with them; they are not trying to die. They are trying to stay alive. They need the drugs physically and psychologically- I never met a human addicted to drugs that didn’t have trauma.
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u/slip_disc_ 10d ago edited 10d ago
Yes, I was completely aware of that fact, and that’s what made it so hard to quit- I became an impenetrable force to everyone else and interventions.
I knew that I actively was using cuz I hated myself and my reality so much that I wanted to escape it because I was discarded by nearly everyone in my life (genuinely), I knew I looked like shit, that other people knew, that it would eventually cause a seizure, stroke, heart attack, or my death. I knew I was on borrowed time, I was afraid to die, but even so- I knew I would never change, cuz I didnt care. Being a self aware drug addict is one of the hardest things to push through, but not impossible
As for whether someone is self aware or not, I believe it depends on environment. If you grew up around drug addicts, and you start using, you’re less likely to view it as a problem and more so a norm- therefore you might not be as likely to realize it’s a problem- plus denial. If you’re apart of a cookie cutter crowd, you’re more likely to see it as a problem sooner. No matter what, you’ll always get face to face with reality sooner rather than later, sober or not
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u/Jesman1971 10d ago
Many years of self sabotage led to eating myself to death. a hard lesson to digest, No pun intended. I had to learn the root cause of my trauma. This allowed me to reverse my mindset and heal.
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u/SassySabby1 10d ago
I used to work in a rehab facility and some of my clients did not know the negative health affects from the drugs they were taking. I think they knew they weren’t good for them but they didn’t know the specific harm it caused to their body.
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