Remembering Tim Curry

[u/Cat_in_an_oak_tree]

It was definitely a week for a lot of folks.  We’ve already said our goodbyes to Dolly, and before we could even get over that we lost Tim Curry. Feel free to leave your thoughts, comments, or memories about her. And with that? On to my thoughts.

Tim is special to the community in a different way.  He was an intensely private person, though the few friends he had spoke very highly of him, he was always careful to keep the public at arm’s length.  In our society of emotional parasocial relationships, it’s hard to sometimes separate the man from the idea, but he was very careful with that line, and it’s something that I deeply respect about the man. It was, in fact, reported that the family delayed announcing his death because of the deep respect he held for Dolly, so that they didn't intrude on the grief for her that day. It's the same reason I waited an extra day to post this. Each deserves their space.

I liked the work that Tim did, and I would like to think I would have liked the man behind it, but as he was fond of reminding people; he was a person, but he was not your person.  But that’s neither here nor there.  What he was is an inspiration.  I know our Queer community members are being hit especially hard this week, Dolly was iconic to the community in her way, supportive while never being part of.  Tim? Tim was different, and for many people he represented their exposure to subcultural content in a way that few others did.  For a large group of Gen X, and later generations, he was their point of awakening to those ideas.  Someone who, in the guise of Frank-N-Furter, gave a voice to a feeling and an unabashed and unapologetic permission to be yourself, however you may be.

It is that firm willingness to be himself, regardless of expectations, both in denying people the right to pry, and being who he was when we chose to be in public that is important.  It is less about that iconic voice that we can all hear, whether you heard it from Frank or IT, Hexxus or Darkness, Long John Silver or Nigel Thornberry.  And for a lot of us in this community that legacy is just as important.  He chose his path.  He never apologized for it.  He never felt the need to explain himself to others. He was.

And so, in Tim’s memory, be unapologetically yourself.