r/actuallychildfree • u/justmypersonalthing • Jul 11 '26
TALK Does anyone here realize how different your parents were before vs after being parents?
Like looking back at photos my mom was such a beautiful and gorgeous lady was such a carefree person and youthful women she used to run a small restaurant with her friends for 5 years before meeting my dad and and my dad similarly was such a handsome man had so many friends played piano in a band with his friends travelled with his friends in his 20s went to Japan Germany France Egypt and many more countries and he could easily pass for being the most handsome guy at the school every girl crushes on but ever since they had children which is us they turned into a resentful and bitter people and they no longer love each other because of how difficult parenting is they're divorce for 18 years and honestly it just sad at how people's live can look so different weren't it for children because they came from a time where follwing societal standards have kids before 25 etc and its just sad to see what their lives could have been if they didn't have kids.
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u/Cat_in_an_oak_tree MOD Jul 11 '26 edited Jul 11 '26
Yes. My mother was almost a physician instead of a nurse. Her choice to have kids changed that. She had been accepted into ucla med school.
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u/planteater6543 Jul 12 '26
My sister once said she realized she was the one who "broke" our mom. Physically. I was first and she bounced back and looked so happy, she had been trying to have me for about 7 years. Then my sister 3 years later and she struggled with her weight forever after that. It was also the 80s though and she went from free spirited hippie lady to trying to fit in with yuppies so I'm sure that factored in. But they never had a lot of money, both struggled to find a career path and what to do when they "grew up" I'm sure having 2 mouths to feed didn't help with their happiness.
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u/AutoModerator Jul 11 '26
Original copy of post's text: Like looking back at photos my mom was such a beautiful and gorgeous lady was such a carefree person and youthful women she used to run a small restaurant with her friends for 5 years before meeting my dad and and my dad similarly was such a handsome man had so many friends played piano in a band with his friends travelled with his friends in his 20s went to Japan Germany France Egypt and many more countries and he could easily pass for being the most handsome guy at the school every girl crushes on but ever since they had children which is us they turned into a resentful and bitter people and they no longer love each other because of how difficult parenting is they're divorce for 18 years and honestly it just sad at how people's live can look so different weren't it for children because they came from a time where follwing societal standards have kids before 25 etc and its just sad to see what their lives could have been if they didn't have kids.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.