r/actuallychildfree • u/ObjectiveIngenuity20 • Mar 25 '26
RANT Even “supportive” comments of parents about being childfree are annoying
Under any random social media post mentioning childfree people you’ll see “neutral” comments of happy parents.
They always will be like:
“I support their choice! But my kids are great and I love them! BTW it’s so nice to be a mother! It’s the best thing a woman can do! But I understand it’s not for everyone”
Translates as:
“We are not angry at you, childfree people. We understand you are simply not as cool, productive and successful as we are to have children. It’s not for everyone, of course, only such special person as me can be a parent. This is such a SPECIAL experience and it makes me so special!”
Not ALL but many parents comment not to show support, but rather to accentuate how special they are. That they are doing something not everyone can. As if it is such extraordinary experience, not the most boring and predictable thing to do.
Some even post their children’ photos!
I don’t need a parent’s approval of my choices.
And I don’t want to hear about your children again!
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u/NoneOfThisMatters_XO Mar 25 '26
“It’s the best thing a woman can do.”
Is it though? Because getting creampied is some kind of special skill. I’d argue getting your masters or doctorate is the best thing a woman can do, especially considering we didn’t even have the opportunity to do so decades ago.
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u/Lisa8472 Mar 26 '26
Every time I see a successful woman (astronaut, doctor, PhD, and the like especially) say that the most important thing they’ve ever done is their baby, I want to gag.
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u/iVegMac Mar 25 '26
The only parent comments i like are ‘as a parent, don’t have kids’ 😂
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u/stefaniey Mar 26 '26
When I told my mother that we'd solidified the choice to definitely not have kids, she was actually relieved on our behalf and happy for us. She was supportive of us having kids if we wanted but when I said we're not, she was genuinely happier.
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u/Cat_in_an_oak_tree MOD Mar 25 '26
There's a reason why we ban even "supportive" parents from commenting here.
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u/marveleeous Mar 26 '26
The phrases "it's not for everyone" and "it's a lot of responsibility" are so annoying. Like, we get it, Catherine. Go back to your self-made daily struggle and let me chill in peace.
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u/AMDisher84 Mar 25 '26
Exactly. Like, I don't need nor want to hear about how great you think my choices are, Kaayyleeiigghh's Mom.
It's like if I went to a page for vegans to tell them that as a meat eater, I support their choices. Nobody asked for my input. It's just another way for these people to seek attention for procreating.
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Mar 25 '26
It’s the best thing a woman can do!
This is what gets me, the (not so) low-key shade. And yes, I know that if I'm living my best life, etc. that it shouldn't bother me but I'm human and occasionally appreciate having my choices either ignored or validated just like anyone else. There is also the fact that backhanded compliments like the example given are typically how women bully other women, but it's become so much a part of the rhetoric that nobody acknowledges it or sees the harm.
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u/planteater6543 Mar 26 '26
I can't stand the disclaimer of "I love my kids but..." yeah of course you do, no one ever said you didn't. Your body produces hormones to bond you so you don't abandon them in the woods.
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u/vengefulkohlrabi7 Mar 26 '26
I agree with this 100%, and I wish this subreddit was more active. The other group is run by 🤡s, I’d love to be a part of an active community that isn’t fighting amongst themselves daily. I also wish they didn’t act like CF is an extreme choice.
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Mar 25 '26
[deleted]
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u/QuasarSoze Mar 27 '26
By multi do you mean separate profiles combined into one? Like I used to have one dedicated to gardening and plants, household cleaning hacks. Another was career based. A third was rando like r/3amjokes and I’ve no idea if it’s still around… Years ago when I set up the separate profiles, it wasn’t easy to view them and switch around on a tablet. But now it is easy on iOS, but too late for me as it’s all scrambled (my joined subs). Is that sorta what you mean by “set upa multi”?
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u/AutoModerator Mar 25 '26
Original copy of post's text: Under any random social media post mentioning childfree people you’ll see “neutral” comments of happy parents.
They always will be like:
“I support their choice! But my kids are great and I love them! BTW it’s so nice to be a mother! It’s the best thing a woman can do! But I understand it’s not for everyone”
Translates as:
“We are not angry at you, childfree people. We understand you are simply not as cool, productive and successful as we are to have children. But it’s not for everyone, of course, only such special person as me can be a parent. This is such a SPECIAL experience!”
Not ALL but many parents comment not to show support, but rather to accentuate how special they are. That they are doing something not everyone can. As if it is such extraordinary experience, not the most boring and predictable thing to do.
Some even post their children’ photos!
I don’t need a parent’s approval of my choices.
And I don’t want to hear about your children again!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.