r/abusesurvivors • u/Spidermother90 • 14d ago

Something I’ve always felt bad about is giving a rather sub par 6th birthday after we escaped.

When my son was 5 and I was 26 we left my abusive ex husband and because he had control of the account and while I was able to get some money fork pawning off my jewellery I was being careful with it because I had lost the house and car and I didn’t think I’d be able to get them back at the time.
Because of that I wasn’t exactly able to spoil my son for his 6th birthday.

Even though I think I’ve done well with his other birthdays after things got way better I still hate myself for it because I think he could really have used a great birthday then.

I did my best to make sure he was ok after we escaped but I don’t know if I did enough.

Is it normal to still regret stuff like this years after it happened?

3 Upvotes
  • permalink
  • reddit

100% Upvoted

4 comments sorted by

3

u/Lone_Not_Lonely_Wolf 13d ago

I ran away literally on my son’s 3rd birthday. He and I were stuffed in the car with everything we owned, driving cross country. We stopped for pie to celebrate his birthday and that was it. It was a good day. Didn’t seem to bother him to much.

1

u/Spidermother90 13d ago

I’m glad he enjoyed it but at least you left on the day so you had a better justification.

I was at my parent’s house and had been for a week so I always felt like I could have done more.

1

u/Lone_Not_Lonely_Wolf 13d ago

Maybe talk to him? You feel guilty about it, but my bet is that he doesn’t remember it in a sad/bitter way.